Judge, 1906-07-14 · page 6 of 18
Judge — July 14, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from **Judge** (likely early 1900s) contains several distinct humor pieces: **"Questions of the Hour"** lists contemporary theatrical celebrities—Anna Held, John Drew, Kyrle Bellew, Tony Pastor, Edna May, Lillian Russell—whose personal lives and professional reputations were fodder for gossip columns. The joke is that these questions pale beside asking whether composer Meyerbeer was related to actor Beerbohm Tree, a absurdist non-sequitur. **"The Judicial Child"** satirizes childish logic: a boy reasons that if God's lightning kills people, God should be arrested—mocking naive moral absolutism. **"Near-History"** plays on the phrase "double cross," suggesting Hannibal crossed the Alps twice and thus "double-crossed." **"Hard to Understand Woman"** presents a man's bafflement at female psychology—the woman pretended anger when kissed by a stranger, then became genuinely angry when he claimed it was a mistake. The satire targets male obliviousness about women's autonomy. The cartoons show figures in physical altercations (references to "solar plexus" boxing terminology), likely humorous vignettes of working-class violence or slapstick comedy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
QUESTIONS OF THE HOUR. E'RE all aware that Anna Held Exactly what John Drew, But what we'd like to know is just How much coin Kyrle Bellew. Does Hackett cut the ice he did? Does Tony Pastor pray? If you can’t answer these perhaps Our old friend Edna May. Does Lillian Russell through her lines? Is Cissy Loftus tall? Is Sothern cold by nature, and When Primrose did he fall? Is Mansfield tract-able? If s0, Can he be called a plot? Would Goodwin be a bad one if Gillette him? Maybe not. But all these questions simple are Compared with this, to me: Was Meyerbeer a relative Of Mr. Beerbohm Tree? FRANK THOMPSON SRARIGHT. DEFINED. “Fred ‘s a perfect young water-god, isn’t he?" “Him! A sort of Apollo-naris, you mean. 1, Pat—'' Begob! a liar Ol am,eh? C1'll break ivery bone in yure thavin’ body !"* ‘THE JUDICIAL CHILD. seMAMMA,” asked the little boy, trembling while the thunder-storm was in progress, ++ does the light- ning really strike people 2” Sometimes, dear.” “And does it kill them ?” “Yes, dear." + Then why don't they have the Almighty ar- rested ?” NEAR-HISTORY. HANNIBAL was crossing the Alps for the sec- ond time. + Aha!" he muttered. ** The double cross." HARD TO UNDERSTAND WOMAN. $6 Q)H. you can't understand a wo- man,” he said disgustedly. + It's no use trying.” “What's happened now 2” + Tmet that pretty Miss Swift in a dark hallway and kissed her. I didn't think she'd mind, you know.” “And she-did mind 2?” “Well, she pretended to be very angry, so I thought I'd smooth things down by telling her that it was all a mistake—that I thought she was some- body else." “+ And then 2” “Why, then she really was very angry.” OW can you expect a square deal from a one-sided man? This is the origin of the expression. PATRICK, AT THE TELEPHONE, RESENTS AN INSULT. 3. Pat—" Begorry! he wuz a tough wan t’ crack, but Oi nailed him."* 2. Pat—' How do yez loike thot solar plexus ?”*