Judge — May 26, 1906 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Pears’ “Just soap,” is good enough for some, but most women insist on having Pears’. Ask some girl with a good complexion—why? Sold by the cake and In boxes. The best place for Rest, Recretion of Recupetaion at this season is ATLANTIC CITY and the new Fireproof CHALFONTE is especially well equipped to supply the wants of those who come to secure them. Write for Illustrated Folder and Rates to The Leeds Company Always Open On the Beach Nature is often down on young men. Their budding beards, you know.—Ex. A few copies of the first edition of THIS AND THAT ABOUT CARICATURE By Zim, are still available, Upon receipt of $1.50, this clever little book will be sent tu any address, postage prepaid. JUDGE COMPANY, New York Jasper’s Hints to Money-makers @ Do you ever make investments in Wall Steet securities? Do you ever buy of tell stocks of bonds? If 10, do not fail toread "Jasper’s Hints to Money-makers"™ every week in * Leslie's Weekly," in which questions regarding stocks and bonds are honestly and conservatively answered, and hints given as to the outlook in the dock market from week to week. This is the oft reliable financial department publish. ed in the United States, and thousands have tesifed in waiting that it has either made or saved them money. G Buy a copy of “Leslie's Weekly” your newsdealer’s for ten cents, ‘land see for yourself, or send in a tee monthi trial subscristion to “Leslie's Weekly” for $1.00, eich iil give you the right to free an- swers to any questions regardir ‘chs and bonds which you may. adie Seer Company 225 Fourth enue, New York | “STEP LIVELY, PLEASE!” As up and down this world I fare, And try to get to anywhere, This startling cry assaults the air: © Step lively, please !” | If on the trolley-car I seek My way to find by question meek, With strident voice conductors shriek : * Step lively, please!" If from the ferryboat I go To pick my way through mud and snow, | Loud the policeman shouts his “ Ho! Step lively, please!” Then into upper air I fly, To take the “ L” and with it try To flee from that pursuing cry : “Step lively, please At last I turn my weary feet Down subway stairs beneath the street— | To hear, alas! the guard repeat, Step lively, please !” I wonder will it be my fate | To hear Saint Peter at the gate Say: “Come, you are a little late. Step lively, please!" — Century Magazine. " Best of all, Amongst the rarest of good ones." — Shakespeare. ‘) Green Label. AT ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALERS. ESTABLISHED BETTER THAN NONE. | A widow in a Maine town, according to the Boston Herald, was a strict con: structionist in her theology, and would admit no lodger into her Loarding-house who had a leaning toward Universalist views, One day an old sea captain hap- pened along to ask for rooms “ But what do you believe 2” widow. *+Oh, most anything,” tain, + Do you believe there is a hell ?" « Sure,” was the rep! “Well,” parried the widow, “how | many do you think will go there ? | The captain cautiously remarked that he thought twenty thousand Would be a fair estimate. The widow paused, then stated that he could come in, “Twenty thousand," | she said, * is better than none.” asked the replied the cap- | DAM COLIC FIRED; TOM DAMSICK sTays. | On the pay-roll of works in South Can- onsburg there recently appeared two |names that for variety seem to excel any | |to be found in the list of- unclaimed let- ters that the post-office furnishes, or the docket of a justice of peace. The names referred to are of two sons of southern Europe, and are. Dam Colic and Tom Damsick. Whether Messrs. Colic and| Damsick actually gave in their names as they are here printed, or whether the clerk, in a fit of desperation, made the best stunt possible after he had heard the foreigners give their names, is not known ; | |but the fact is, nevertheless, that the| names of Dam Colic and Tom Damsick appear in black and white on the pay-roll of the company referred to—or rather | did until a few days fr, Colic hav- | ing lately been fired for something he id or didn’t do, or didn’t do as he was told to do.—Canonsbury Notes. HALCYON DAYS FOR SCHOOL-MARMS. Jacob Hanson and his best teacher were driving westward Friday eve «just | as the sun went down.” Oh, Sylvia, how | could you ? | Tom Peterson got badly stuck on the streets of Titonka with a load of hay, but we think that isn’t the only thing Tom has been stuck on J. Peterson got stuck in the streets | of Titonka last $ It is better to} be stuck in the streets than stuck ona school-marm. Jacob Hansen was looking after al school-marm last Friday. He probably wants a cook.— Titonka (Iowa) Topic. than in unpleasant company.” NOT THE ONE. Mayme— Is Clara a good girl to tell Ja secret to?” Maude —" Oh, my, no! | never tell a soul !"— Cie JUDGES LIBRARY, A MAGAZINE of FUN JUNE NUMBER NOW READY UP AGAINST IT. “Snobson said he'd rather be alone Why, she'll But the worst of his case is, he can’t go News. pe even then !"—Detroit Free Press. The Judge Company publishes the only humorous monthly magazin: in America. The Magazine of Fun (formerly Judge’s Library) has show: a remarkable growth during the past year, and is now read by more that a quarter of a million persons monthly, y many as twelve original humorous articles and thirty pages of picture: June number now on sale on all news-stands, 10 cents a copy. JUDGE COMPANY 225 Fourth Avenue