Judge — May 26, 1906 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Love is blind. Without it we find earth a homely sight to see. With love, while seeing noth. ing clear, it's mighty pleas- ant to be here. Will you please tell me a good book to read while on the way to the den- tist—something that will make me forget that I am going to the dentist? Rosauig. “The House of Mirth might answer your purpose, or Baxter's Lives of the Saints." If you want to forget where you are going you might read something by Henry James. Kindly tell me something about the Hertzian Wave theory. I have under stood that these waves are very rapid. Is this true? Any other facts you may be able to give me on this subject will be appreciated. ‘ery truly yours, ALPHONSE. We are not up on Hertzian Waves, and only understand the meaning of the term in the most general sense. You are right in say- ing the Hertzian Waves are very swift. We know of nothing more rapid. A Hertzian Wave that can't make five hundred million oscil- lations per second is voted slow among the Hertzian people. Never- theless, a Hertzian Wave is a heavy freight as compared to a Maxwell light wave. This wave is a sort of alternating electric current flow- ing in the air of interplanetary space, and changes direction over a trillion times in a second. A trillion is a thousand million million. Some notion of this number can be obtained by taking your watch and countirig very fast for a second. You will find it extremely difficult to count a thousand million million in that time. We do not ask you to believe this on our say-so. All we ask is that you try it and see for yourself, Another way is to stand on your toes and whirl yourself about at the rate of a thousand million mes a second. Per- sons who have tried this say that they have revolved with such rapidity that the frictional contact with the air has caused heat of such inten- sity that their noses and ears were melted off. Also please tell Is it proper for a man to kiss a girl he is not engaged to? ALICE. me how to captivate a young man? Your first question is one which we answer with great reluctance. In fact, on second thought, we prefer not to answer it at all. Such questions are not to be answered in cold aloofness from the situation. Let those who are a part of the case in the concrete, as it were, or in the park, or the dark of the moon, each answer for him or herself. As to the‘next with most fel- lows who go courting is not that they don’t know when to stop, but that they nev- er know when vous. FUCHS 5 in. 400 question, we are glad to be able to give you helpful to be easy for you to captivate any young man. you see him on the street, throw a brick at him, This attracts his attention and makes him think that you have nerve and dash. If you have an automobile and see him on the street when you are riding, run him down, chug him in the back, flatten him on the pavement, mix it with him, and you will be almost sure to captivate him sooner or later. You might try one or all of these, and if you do not capti- vate your young man let us know and we will tell you other ways to subdue him, First of all, when Will you explain to me how I can know whether our food is adulterated? I am told ‘that much of our coffee is made of beans. Is this true? Also please tell me whether the pork we eat is really pork? Home. Our advices We only know of these things in a general way. indicate that most foods nowadays are adulterated, but you must not get the impression that they are not good foods on that account. Adulteration merely means that you do riot get what you ask for, but that you get something else that is just as good, and even better. We have read somewhere that coffee is only so in seeming. best foreign coffees are said to have been grown in Kansas in the Some of our shape of corn. Beans and pease also make capital coffee. For our part, this only enhances the value of coffee to us. When we ask for coffee and get good Kansas corn and other legumes, pod fruits and aster roots, we are just that much better pleased, Whether the pork you eat is real must remain an open question. ‘This is a great day for near-things, and near-pork is quite possible, we judge. Many of the things we are asked to eat nowadays are just nearly-fit to eat. We do not demand « firsts,” as we did in earlier and more sophisticated times, This is an age of seconds.” Will you tell me if there is any place where the hair of famous persons is sold? I have heard there is. Joun. A market has just been opened in Paris where the hair of famous personages is on sale, Nelson is easily first. Last June a wisp of about two dozen of Admiral Nelson's hairs were knocked down for $625. A lock of Wellington's hair is valued at $7.50. Shakespeare and Horace Greeley hair has to be made to order. AN AWFUL IDEA. Mr. Mose Brown—"' Miss A: Miss Azatea SautH-Jones— lea, Ah’d jes’ like ter see mahse'f as others see me."* Goodness, Mistah Brown! what awful ideas yo" do git inter yo'r hald!"*