Judge — May 5, 1906 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IF YOU MUST CHEW GUM CHEW “ Dying of Death” Lit: is being prolonged. « terror—anxiety for the future of fovily. This is only a matter of doll and sense if you consult the PENN MUTUAL LIFE, is announced. Death is also being robbed of its great- A LOANSOME PLAINT. I've lent my dinner-coat to Jack, Phil has my best black shoes, My dress-suit just fits Ray—worse luck ! My sweater's down to Hugh's; ‘The man that sits next me in Ec, Borrowed my notes till ten ; The fellow two doors down the hall Has got my fountain-pen. What is there left for me to do? I can't go to that dance ; I cannot study, somebody Has borrowed my advance French reading. i might just as well Quit work and shut up shop And gointown. I can't shave,though ; ‘Tom has my razor-strop. Can't find another. What on earth! Great Scott! Well, as I live! To clean his ink-well with. Well, never mind ; I'll have some fun ; I might as well get drunk. Forget it all—I can't do that ! They've borrowed my last plunk ! —Harvard Lampoon. SHE DIDN’T SLEEP WELL. A woman who lives in an inland town, while going to a convention in a distant city, spent one night of the journey on board a steamboat. It was the first time the jars 92t-3-5 Chestnut St, Philadelphia. {she had ever traveled by water. She - reached her journey’s end extremely fa- Nickens tigued. To a friend who remarked it she Wizard tong, | replied, Repeating veel Yes; 1 am tired to death. I don't LIQUID PISTOL SUBAQUEOUS WISDOM. First fish—« Don't you want that nice] worm ?* Second fish— No; publican plank for mine.” HENRY LINDENMEKYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE on 6 and a8 Uleecker Stet Branch Wareboase, 30 Nreet, New York Gtr tivo oF Parts waDE 70 CODES the psare Re- N.Y. Sun, know that I care to travel by water again. Tread the card in my stateroom about how to put the life-preserver on, and I thought I understood it, but I guess I didn’t. Somehow, I couldn't go to sleep with the thing on.” — Lauies’ Home Journal, Collars ana Cuffs BARKER BRAND f MADE OF cunen A ts 15¢ FS825¢" EAs, sizes (ar anewer to this al-importantqueation to men and bore willing to LEARN and Earn, THE THREE WEST TRADES IN THE WOHLD COYNE BROS. CO. TRADE SCHOOLS | °" write for free catalogue to Coyne Bret. 00 $89 10th Aven Sew York & course of ‘awalta your inquiry. crv iC SEAM improve DRAWERS. ThelIdeal Garments for Particular Men Scientifically constructed with an elastic insertion that makes them fit and makes them comfortable at all times. The Scriven Improved Elastic-Seam Drawers are made in a va: knee lengths. generally. of popular Fabrics, in full and ‘or sale by good haberdashers ‘Send for bookiet he sarees syle, This booklet dette the varius sy for the Sie tains capretentre t's tree. I J. A. SCRIVEN COMPANY 16 and 18 East 15th Street Sole Manufacturers New York My roommate's used my new toothbrush | 100 From factory ‘direct to {stroduce our metho of weilng trom fac None sold after June 5, 1906, at this price, and not more than THE EDWIN CIGAR CO., Dept. P, wr 0 fora hundred sedi pare Tent ell over tne cours? ‘tnd for winch any cleat dealer would tao, wid tet ‘a totetona feats too petiy tata you dont sek Tooke. ater make West ‘Havana shorts "= ack i you aren't elated." This Iaccavot Your aren Send $150 for 00. We reserre the rat bowever 1 return ‘tain quantity of tis teand Is sold, ab this price Kes West Havana Seconds 1.9 direct to you ds "cigars made of the quality of er than #13 thelesy test values 10 the amoker at factory 100 to one smoker order and rotund your money after a cer- made juat to" prt acuaioted’> 64-66-68 West 125th St New York Rveusxces: Corn Exchange Rank, United States Exchange Ban} A GOOD SERMON. “ There !"" exclaimed the Reverend Mr. Gasaway, as he finished writing his ser- mon. “I flatter myself that very few preachers could beat that bit of eloquence What's your text, dear?” asked his fe. Let nothing be done through vain- —Philadelphia Ledger. glory. STUPID. Tess— Cholly is too stupid.” Yess— In particular ¢” Tess—" Why, we were at the beach at the same time last summer, and when 1 said I wanted to learn to swim he said I couldn't fool him—that he had seen me swim the summer before."— Exchange. ‘THE INSOLVENT PLAN. Some men believe that the best way to buy a house is on the insolvent plan.— | New York Press. “lat the White House that we called it STILL. “Yes,” the old newspaper man said, reminiscently, “when I was a cub in Washington we used to get so much copy tand.’” he Washington correspondent said gloomily, “I find it a news stand- still."—American Spectator. The truth is mighty, And it must prevail; But it’s mighty flighty, With a sting in its tail. —Philadelphia Record. Mamma—" Yes ; Willie, you've been a very good boy to-day.” Willie— AM right ; nickel. Mamn No, indeed !" Willie—“ Why, ma, you told me Tommy Nayhor was good for nothin’, an’ you don't | want me to be like him, do you ?"—£xc, then give mea J es from the diar of the late OHN SMITH