Judge — April 28, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wasrexx Apvernsinc Orrici PUBLISHED WEEKLY Ar rue Panxer Burtpixc. Founrs AvExux axp Nixerexxtu Staxer, New Youn. 1313 Hartford Building, Chicago, lit UNITED STATES One copy, one year, or s2 numbers One copy, six months, or 26 numbers = ‘One copy, FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all for for thirteen weeks including the Cwm countries in the postal union, $5.50 8 year. EUROPEAN saLus-acunts—Intermational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, F.C, London ; Brentans's, Avenue de!" Opera, Paris; Saaréack's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of JUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this covyright will be promptly and digorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS mast inctose a stamped and self-addressed eivelove with all manuscripts, othePwise retarn of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent fo the Art Department should have the sender’s fall name and adtiress Yeritten plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying joke or descrintive letler-press should in every instance be writien upon tts indrossaal pictore, and NOT upon a separate slip of pacer. Inciosure of stamps to the fall amount of postage (s also reauired, 10 insure safe and promot retum of material not accented. 1 JUDGE cannot be found at any vews-stand, (be publishers will be under obligations if that fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. VACATION PLANS OF THE SENATORS. N THESE socialistic days we are apt to feel at times that government is afailure. But facts of a more hopeful tenor spring up on every hand. A citizen of Iowa, resident in the Isle of Pines, refused to pay taxes to the Cuban government; and another dweller under the Cuban flag, once a resident of Florida, refused to deliver some goods until he had received storage charges amounting to $10.50. These are small things, but small things have a wonderful power to disturb the course of affairs in such a small arm of the Cuban republic as the Isle of Pines. As illustrating the watch- ful benevolence of government, our senate has taken note of this small disturbance, and it was proposed at once to send a party of senators on a junket to Cuba to look into these things. It may seem like a waste of money to send a boat-load of statesmen on an excursion to Cuba to in- vestigate complaints affecting fully $25.00 worth of property. Some may say that the senate might look into the trouble through the American consuls in Cuba. But that is not the way of a good government. This trouble needs to be investigated, and it should be investigated on the spot. Hence there is no better way than to rig up a war-ship, stock it with all the pleasant summer eatables and drinkables, and let the senators sail away on their benevolent errand. a ye +6 KINDLING BRYAN BOOM,” says a newspaper head-line. Prob- ably means that somebody is going to make kindling of said Bryan boom. ‘ A CALLER at the White House informed President Roosevelt that the millennium is near at hand, Thinking for a moment of his opposition on the railway-rate measure, Mr. Roosevelt is said to have doubted this news. A NEW CARNEGIE INVASION THREATENED. WE HAVE WAITED a reasonable length of time, hoping that Mr. Carnegie would explain the kissing episode in the south which cre- ated such a furore some weeks ago; but the only word that has come, so far from explaining makes it worse. Under the circumstances, we can no longer refrain from speaking our mind. We regard Mr. Carnegie’s Hobson- izing experiment as not only a menace, but aperil. It will be noted that while Hobson was kissed, Mr. Carnegie kisses, presum- ably following his well-known rule, ‘I'll give half if you will raise the other half.’” According to the newspapers, the woman kissed by Mr. Carnegie said, “‘ His kiss thrills and at the same time soothes. He is not hasty, and the osculation satisfies.” From the account it cannot be questioned that Mr. Carnegie did his full half. It is for us, the male people, to say how great is the peril of this new philanthropy backed by millions, comparative youth, and a win- ning way. Mr. Carnegie has abundance of leisure for this sort of thing, and there can be no doubt that the women would welcome his osculatory campaign. It would be so nice of him, you know. Thus the man who would knock out English as she is wrote would also monopolize the American kiss—and with his means and life expectation he could keep it up for years, THe LATEST quotations on revolutions in South America are $200 each. eee [TIS SAID that Uncle Joe Cannon is forging to the front as a Presiden- tial candidate. Forging is hardly the word. oe THE CONGRESSIONAL RECORD, it is said, is in danger of becoming a yellow journal, In that case congress can do its own exposing. eee A NEW YORK BANK will shortly be open twenty-four hours in the day. What magnificent opportunities for embezzling all the time. WOMAN REVOLTS AGAINST HER OWN CREED. AN OMAHA WOMAN has sued for divorce, alleging in her complaint that her husband habitually keeps, and upon occasions wears, one hundred shirts, some of them highly colored. The particulars of this amaz- ing complaint are lacking. Whether the woman objects to the one hundred shirts because she has to wash them, or because some of them are colored, or just because she objects on principle to any man having so many shirts, is not stated. In any event, it is a curious case. Who can imagine a woman in revolt because she herself has a hundred shirt-waists or dresses? From time immemorial clothes have been of woman’s being, not a thing apart, but her whole existence. And it is fairly in- conceivable that this woman, who objects on the score of the quantity of the gar- ments, can be representative of her class. When, in addition to feeling irritated, she not only speaks her mind to her husband, but rushes off to the courts and applies for a divorce, it will be seen that the business becomes serious. There are so many causes of divorce at the present time that thoughtful people will deplore the coming of a new one. For a long time women have been threatening to outvote us. They object to our cigar and our glass of beer. They refuse to be ruled by us, and hold before us the threat to leave us; and now a woman raises Cain because her husband has a hundred shirts. Surely the last estate of man in this old world is noticeably worse than the first. PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT to swing round the circle in 1907? U-m-mt Well, that suits us all right. | THE QUESTION of a national air is still unsettled. Judging from the chewing in congress, it will certainly be a species of rag-time. APRopos of the subject of municipal ownership, we learn that Bos- ton’s ice-plant has been a failure. It wouldn’t work in the frigid culture zone. [T’S THE OLD STORY. Dowie got along all right until he went up against New York. Then things began to tumble. Ought to have stayed on the rural circuit. 'T IS SAID that Mr. Murphy and Brother McClellan are not pulling to- gether very well nowadays. Mr. Murphy, it will be recalled, was for- merly known as Boss Murphy. ATTORNEY THEODORE HORSTMAN of Ohio says of the Honor- able Nicholas Longworth, “I cannot recall anything he has done in his two years in congress—can you?” Certainly we can. comicbooks.com