Judge — April 14, 1906 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GOTHAM LITERARY NOTES, VOLUME XXIII of the «Speeches of Mr. Jerome,” the American (not Brit- ish) humorist, is eagerly awaited. Mr. Carnegie, the well-known author of library-books, will introduce some new spelling in his forthcoming novel. “Extracts from My Office-safe,"” by Colonel W. D. Mann, will not be published this season owing to the printers’ strike. The new édition of the Telephone Book, just out, is being rapidly exhausted It is believed a special edition may be called for. Henry James is preparing a Pathfind- er’s edition of his works, Each paragraph will be supplied with finger-posts labeled “This Way to 2 Thought.” The six books most in demand in New York City last week were the Bible, Web- ster's Dictionary, Trow’s City Directory, the Social Register, the Telephone Book, and Andrew Carnegie’s Cheque-book (lim- ited edition). NOT A SCAB, Lobbyist— for your vote. Til give you fifty dollars JUDGE'S FAVORITES. JEANNETTE DUPRE. NOW PLAYING IN VAUDEVILLE. We sing of spring and everything That comes a-winging. joyous, bring- Ing mirth and ending to our woe— LEANED upon the pasture-rails ; The first sweet stars were in the sky. We heard the clink of milking-pails ; We watched the circling bats go by With outstretched wings like dusky sails. The orchard-trees were dim and still, Breathing sweet fragrance in their sleep, And meadoweland and field and hill The same soft slumber seemed to keep— Even the ripple of the rill Was like a mourner in a dream. And we, too, dreamed . . . Her pensive face, Pale as a star, I saw it gleam A still light, in a lonely place— A bending flower above a stream! Her little hand, within my reach, Lay quite untouched. You wonder why? I answer you, with frankest speech, That she was married—and so was I— And we were married, each to each! + MADELINE BRIDGES, WHAT WAS NEEDED. “«T can't use this Magazine editor poem unless you boil it dows Poet— And why should I boil it down?" Legislator (severely)—« This union shop—and those are scab prices. HIS CHOICE. HERE was nothing wild in the caller’s manner, so the lady at the employment-bureau desk was rather startled when he told his wants. “L wish to engage a cook,” he observed. «« Fancy or plain 2” she said. “Plain—homely as sin,” he replied, ‘In fact, I don’t care whether she can cook or not. Any old thing that looks like a cook will do. ++ Really, 1"— “And if she drinks, smokes, or steals silver, so much the better.” Soodness me! what” I specially desire that she be very strong and in the habit ot beating her employer with a club.” Upon my word !" + In short, [want a rampant, athletic, rip-roaring terror, and I can promise good wages. The lady at the desk was begging Central to connect her with the police-department. “Hold on! explained the caller, «Allow me to say that the domestic I seek will be in the employ of my wife's mother.”” HER IMAGE. HE stands before her Easter shrine And views the image there ; Notes every contour, line on line, With bold and searching stare ; Then ventures gently to incline The hat upon its hair, Lw.s. SURE OF APPRECIATION. Gaiboy — Where are you going to spend Easter Sunday ?” Wrounder—" Well, 1 don't know just where I'll spend the day itself; but I'm going to try to make a date for the evening with some girl that gave up kiss- ing as her Lenten sacrifice.” HERE is no more insufferable bore than the man who has so much common sense that he has no imagination. hours. And thus we sing of you also, Magazine editor—« To kill the germs of thought which it contains.” NECESSITIES FIRST. The bishop—+ Could you assist our church to send a missionary to China, sir?” The mitlionaire— Well, I can’t afford to just now. I've just had to spend $100,000 bribing the legislature, you know.” CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE. Lawyer —« Has there ever been any insanity in your family 2” Witness—“ Well—er—I have a daughter who jilted a plumber and ran off with a poet.” HERE are said to be no prisons in Iceland. Happy Iceland, where all criminals may commingle on terms of equality ! —— FIFTH AVENUE IN JUNGLEVILLE ON EASTER DAY. Miss Hirro—'* It certainly was a clever idea of mine to hire this bird-of-paradise to sit on my head for a few I've got the swellest hat on the avenue.”