Judge, 1906-03-10 · page 5 of 12
Judge — March 10, 1906 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical format: **Top cartoon** shows two men by a river; the caption indicates they've spotted someone ("Queen-looking Johnny") they hadn't noticed before. **"The Passionate Poet to His Neighbor"** is a poem mocking romantic verse, with the neighbor sarcastically praising clichéd poetry about love and nature. **"Ample Cause"** jokes about divorce grounds—a wife's complexion not matching her new auto's color. **"One on the Flat-Janitor"** presents a brief dialogue where someone claims a neighbor died of pneumonia, but the janitor suspects the man's radiator was the real culprit. **"Father Knew"** features wordplay about poker-checks and bank checks, with a child confusing financial terminology. The illustrations depict everyday scenarios with gentle social humor rather than sharp political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
seo Nm ENE HE HADN'T NOTICED. “ Queer-looking Johnny, that.”* + Whom ? “Old chap got In our way just then." “onl” ‘THE PASSIONATE POET TO HIS NEIGHBOR. ADY in the flat below me, How can I compose a rhyme? Don't you know that you should owe me Money for my time? Here I sit in chill December While the muse is up a tree, While you pound “Then You'll Remember— You'll Re-mem-ber Me.” AMPLE CAUSE. «+ BUT. then, he had good grounds for divorcing his wife.” ++Ts that so?” «Yes, indeed. Her complexion didn’t match the color of his new auto.” ONE ON THE FLAT-JANITOR. She—" They tell me that Briggs is down with pneumonia.” He—** Well, it’s his own fault. He came home to his flat intoxi- cated and fell against the steam- radiator. Of course an intense chill followed." FATHER KNEW. +PAPa.” asked the little Wise boy. * Well, my son?” “Papa, what are poker- checks? Are they anything like cheques you give on a bank ?” “Why, they are given on a bank—yes, my son.” «« But are they the same?” “No; the difference is in the dating.” “How are poker-checks dated?” “They are ante-dated, my child. Is there anything else you wish to ask papa before he reads his paper?” HAD NOAH GUESSING. THE two grizzly bears had just boarded the ark. “Whose chauffeurs are they ?" asked Noah. Ah, but you—you have forgotten, As you play the Danube waltz, You're to blame if rhymes are rotten— If the feet are false. Must you play that “Rusticana"? Do you swallow a// the lies— All the “Try on Your Piano” That they advertise? Don't you know that you are stealing Bread and butter from my mouth? Have you not the slightest feeling? (Roses of the South."*) Lady, to your staying-powers Tgive up. I've had enough, For it took me seven hours Just to do this stuff! THE COMMUTER’S RECORD. Smith—« read here that the Baldwin Company makes a loco- motive every hour.” Kidder—* That's nothing marvelous, I make the seven-twenty- three express every morning in three minutes.” Mo Rose— He died at the advanced age of 110 years.” Jo Cose—* Humph! He almost led a double life, didn't he 2" A FOOLISH UNDERTAKING. Mr. Monk (hopelessly)—"" Hang It all, any way! 1 might have known better than to try to elope with Miss Hippo, with nothing but this measly zebra.”” comicbooks.com