Judge — February 24, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

At rae Pangen Berepixc, Fourrm AVENUE axD PUBLISHED WEFKL RTKENTH StRxET, New Youn. Wastaen Apventisinc Orrice—1313 Hartford Building, Chicage, 1 UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. o «2 numbers = : months, or saumbers = +e 7. Re ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks One 09: FOREIGN EvKorRAN sates-acunTs—Jatermational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, EC. London : Brentano's, Avenue del" Opera, Paris ts00 2 og a Fs 1235 Tec! he Cunestatas Junce. countries in the postal union, $5503 year. warback's News Exchange, Mainz, Germany, The contents of FUDGE ave protected by conyright tn both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and Pizorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inciose a stamsed and self-addressed entvelove with all manascrints, otherwise return of the Latter when foand unavailaNe cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and ail contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's fall name and address written plainly on each and every separate sheich. The accompanying joke or descrictive letter-press should in ébery instance be written upon its indroidual picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. insure safe and promot return of material not accented. THE REIGN OF THE PERIPATETIC EXPOSER. THE BUSINESS of discovering and exposing graft is gradually develop- ing its own particular craft and taking shape as one of our recognized industries. Clever artisans find the new trade congenial, fairly remunera- tive, and not without a certain renown. It is not a home-keeping occupation, and + those who follow it must have a natural liking for travel, not to say a love of ad- venture. A high degree of enthusiasm, apostolic plainness of speech and patriotic fervor go with the new itinerancy, and it is no more than truth to say that what the itinerants set out pledged to find they find. Through the increasing activities of this peripatetic and determined band of expos- ers the public is slowly rising to a sitting posture and taking notes, with the result that we are not only coming to be an ex+ posed people, but we have an uneasy feel- ing that what we know is not a marker to the misdoing which has not yet been brought to light. It would be a pity if all this roused public feeling should vent itself in mere hysterical scandal mongering and fail of any real, constructive and intelligent reformatory effort. S T LAST the sphinx gives up its secret. It was built to advertise a hair-restorer, ‘tis said. BE TTER keep those bosses we have, lest we get worse, sings Brother Odell of—let’s see; where does that man live? ‘THE COLLEGE-GIRL HAS HER HANDS FULL. 'HE COLLEGE-GIRL is in need of sympathy, and here is where she Ihave it. We have seen her tasks piling up until they are moun- id forbidding, and somebody ought to protest. Our protest fol- lows. A little while ago the drift of college sermons and chapel oratory and unction was toward the college man. He was to purify politics, angel- ize business, and save the country. But he didn’t size up to the job. Poli- tics went to dirt, business to pot, and the country to the dogs, just the same as before. Now the whole burden has been shifted to the college- girl, We have kept track of the chapel addresses for some months now, and here is a partial list of the things which are up to the college-girl: She must save the home, redeem society, transform the earth and beautify the land, including the cities and the farming regions. There are too few children. She must correct this. There are also too many children. She must cor- rect this likewise. There should be less of quantity, more of quality in childhood. The college-girl must be a corrective agency in this regard. Our villages are inat She must attend to our villages. Fa laws are to be made over by her. Industry must be humanized by her. Corporations must be controlled by her. The vewspaper awaits her reforming zeal. She must get after the patent medicines, The little woolly dog is getting too much of ‘voman’s caresses. The college-girl will reapportion woman's caresses and administer them with better taste. The college-girl must stop the docking of horses’ tails. The candy habit lies at her door. She must down the tobacco, liquor and drug habit among men—and this is merely a beginning. Of course, if the college-girl wants to do all these things, well and good; but we insist she ought not to be compelled to do them. Hence our protest. Inclosure of stamps to the fall amount of postage (8 also regained. 10 NOT LET your party do your thinking for you? Why, Senator Patter- And you a Democrat ! son! CANDY cures fatigue, declares the newest medical authority. How the girls will bless the dear mai ENGAGED young people of Spain are going to get married same day King Alfonso weds. Wonder why our young folks didn’t think of scheme like that for February 17th? NOTICE Judge Parker has been saying something about the unblem- ished character of the judiciary. What a man he is for getting in with a golden opinion at the eleventh hour! A NEW INVESTMENT FOR THE MILLIONAIRESS. THE DOMESTIC FLARE-UP of the Castellanes brings to the fore an old, trite theme. In the past quarter-century $140,000,000 worth of American girl has expatriated and marooned herself on the little continent of titled privilege and noble renown. The experiment has been fairly and fully tried. Has it been a success? Has the elusive and glorious some- thing which our millionaire girls have sought in vain here and found over on the other side of the salt pond been worth the price? We trow not. Now and then a girl of millions has eloped with her father's coachman. The outcome in the two kinds of escapades has averaged about the same minimum of happiness. JUDGE herewith suggests to girls of for- tune that it is time to take a new matri- monial tack. If they are looking for an investment, coupled with an opportunity to do good with their money, run-down and mildewed nobilities are the last thing in the world that should interest them. On the other hand, this country is full of young men who have talent, who could be great writers, poets, reformers, but who have to turn from all these things and grind away at uncongenial tasks to earn a living. Let the rich girls seek out these sons of genius, finance their char- acter and soul and worth and put poetry, art and reform on a solid, paying basis. Millionaire girls, think this matter over. THE Fairbanks boom had a growing streak back during that icy spell, early in February. ee YES: Mr. Murphy wanted Jerome, but it took him several months to find out that he also needed him. a ITCHING into congress is coming to be quite a fad; but there’s noth- ing in it—not even a fancy. | That was a very pleasant bull-fight they had in Algeciras. It was got up in honor of the big reform meet. NEW YORK establishes a new sinking-fund for another ferry. scary sound, that item, to people who know New York ferries. NOW who would have thought two men would have fought to the death over the question whether our oil king would go to heaven or not? Queer times. Has a CHINESE newspapers are said to be doing the same yellow things certain newspapers are doing here—and yet we hear people say the Chinese are slow to adopt civilization.