Judge — February 17, 1906 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MR. ADOLF DECKELFRESSER AND HIS TELEPHONE. HE Farmers’ and Merchants’ Mutual Tele- phone Line of Pinhook has not proven an uni- versal favorite, Yesterday Central" was dozing at her post when there came a heavy and hurried footfall on the stairway, and one of the newest subscribers, Mr. Adolf Deckel- fresser, a butcher of New Breslau township, came storming into the room. +Yerk me dot delefone oudt righdt avay qvick !"" he cried. “Why — why, Mr. what's the matter ? “Yerk it von mine haus righdt avay Deckelfresser ! oudt! “What's the trouble 2” + Oudt mit it—oudt mit it! Vot troo- bles? Der krocery mann holler me oop und he say, ‘Pay me dot bills vot you owe Oude mit it—oudt mit it!" “But, you see". «Der oldt beer-peddler on der corner holler me oop und he say, +Deckelfresser, komm hehr mit das gelt vas you owe for ten years alretty yet.’ Oudt mit it—oudt mit it!" ++ But you can pay them up and then it will be all right."" “'Dinkle, dinkle, dinkle! Hullo! Iss dot Deckelfresser 2° “Yaw, Vas iss?” «+ Kann I soldt you a greamery sebarador? vorldt. Sechs dollar down und rest auf time.’ “+ Oudt mit it—oudt mit it! Yerk me dot delefone oudt!" “Well, but you see ™ Dinkle, dinkle, dinkle! Yaw. Vas iss ?* «Hans Hochspieler ? «© Yaw; Hans vork by me. Vas iss?* «« «Bring him by der delefone vonce. I vant speak mit “Igo me by der barn oudt und bring Hans by der vire in, und he say, ‘Hullo, hullo! Vas iss den los? Hullo!” “Und a feller he laff ofer der vire und he say, ‘Vere vould you haf been, Hans, mine boy, if I ditn’t call you vonce ?’ You see, hey— Dot all der times shackass business ofer der vire drife me Yerk it oudt—yerk me dot delefone oudt !" trouble — what's the me." Vas? Best in der Iss dot Deckelfresser alretty yet 2° He vork by you auf der farm—vas ?* you see? vildt—drife me crazy ! iii Mh MAb Ts ( + But "— “«Dinkle, dinkle, din- Hullo!’ “Hullo!” “Hullo! fresser ?" “+ Yaw, Vas iss?" “Take your shimney in der haus, Deckelfresser. Der vetter iss too coldt for a sbimney to shtay by der haus oudt, Dinkle, dinkle !” Gott! vas iss? Yerk it oudt—yerk it oudt! you von day alretty y den I boosts me mineselluf der delefone mit ein sletch- hammer oudt. You vershtay Deckelfresser? Guten tag.” And he stormed down the stairs, kle! Deckel- ORA J. PARKER, CURSE OF POVERTY. E NTERING his home, the husband is dismayed to find his loving wife in tears. “Why, what can be the occasion of your grief?” he inquires. “Oh, it is our poverty!" she replies between her sobs. “Alas, my darling, I know we are poor; but Iam striving and struggling every day, and some time I trust to have acquired a com- petence sufficient to place us above want." +Tknow you are working hard, but it is terrible to be twitted JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MARIE NORDSTROM IN “'THE MAN ON THE BOX,"* AT THE MADISON SQUARE THEATRE. about our destitution.” “Who has been twitting you? «That mean Mrs, Dekreigh.” ‘sHumph! That divorcee! I shouldn’t pay any at "—— “But she flings it in my face that you are too poor to afford to pay me alimony if we should be divorced,” Groaning in spirit because he realizes the blighting truth, the poor husband buries his face in his hands and thinks anarchistic thoughts. 1 will "—— B zh ) & & NOT THEFT. Etta—" Did he steal a kiss from you?" SrELta: “Well, to be perfectly frank with you, it was a ‘ voluntary contribution.’ "*