Judge — February 3, 1906 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MAKING IT PLEASANT FOR THEM. | Aunt Abigail had consented at last to} give her house an external treatment for| chronic shabbiness. The painters did a good job, finishing the front steps last, but forgot to put a board across the balusters to keep per- sons from running up or down the steps and the good dame did’ not observe the oversight. While she was clearing away the sup- per dishes an hour or two after the pairt- ne there came a ring at the front door-bell Aunt Abigail, full of wrath, hastened to the door and opened it. and Mrs. Baxter,” she said with a frosty smile. “I'm delighted to see you—but I just knew somebody would come up. those freshly-painted steps’ before they were dry. Come right in and make yourselves at home, and don’t forget, for goodness’ sake, to wipe your feet on this mat in: side.” —Chicago Tribune. DIFFERENT. ++ Pop!" “Yes, my son.” “Does the minister approve of every- thing that goes on in courch ? « Why. certainly, my boy.” Does he approve of mamma's hat, pop 2” to church." — Yonkers Statesman. NEGLECT OF PRIVILEGE. The cow had just jumped over the moon, « But,” they protested, why | get a congressman to frank you ?* Herewith she bewailed the needless waste of energy.—Excha: dnt you A GUESS. Perhaps an all-wise Providence No snowstorm has conceded, Because it thinks the shovels all In Panama are needed. —New York Sun. SOUTHERN TA ZNG + FLORIDA, CUBA, NASSAU, 2 Fast Trains Daily to Florida Daring the Winter Season the “SOUTHERN’S PALM LIMITED, Daily, except Sunday, Commencing January sth, 1906, $25 Reward Is hereby offered for the arrest, conviction, and imprisonment of any person obtaining money under false pretenses for sub- scriptions to JUDGE, or to any other periodical published by the members of this Association. In view of the number of frauds now operating throughout the coun- try, all persons are hereby cau- tioned to subscribe for noperiodical whatever, without first satisfying themselves that the one who so- licits their subscription is duly authorized to receive the same. a well, that goes on before we go! | was ha wwe” you Whiskey Green Label. do drink, Orink Trims ble ESTABLISHED AT ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALERS DANCING MEASURED IN MILES. A young man fond of dancing recently took a pedometer with him to a ball and found that in the course of the evening he had covered thirteen and one-hall les. The average length of a waltz a mile, of a polka three-quarters of a mile, of 2 gallop or schottische a mile, and of lanciers a quarter of a mile. A girl usually dances more than aman, and is calculated to cover mote than sixteen miles in a single evening. — Chicago Fournal, NONE, WHATEVER. ‘The bad small boy has no use for a dog | whose tail 1s too short to tie a tin can to.—Somerville Journal. CAME TRUE. Are you ready, dear win one minute; darl ra “ Matrimony does not dispel all lusions,” he muttered to himself. we were married I thought every momen Thad to wait for her was an eterinity, an so it’s turned out to be.”-— Exchany ur il re Suitor—" Is your est of the family ¢” Tommy —" Nope ; first." —New Yor ROMEIKE’S [7 O04 lipplags which may appear shoot you. you! ifea, for ang subject on which you want tobe "Gy situ Saves nd Renovo a earch. Term iseie United States ‘ope too notices. Hiway Romeixe, 33 Union Square, N ister Stella the old- she un. was just bor | Just the thing for an easy chair by the fireside these winter days Judge's Library, a MAGAZINE OF FUN For February Sixty pages of good funny stories that will make you take a cl 'On-all News-stands heerful view of life. Price 10 Cents