Judge, 1905-12-16 · page 43 of 48
Judge — December 16, 1905 — page 43: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily a **collection of humorous anecdotes and advertisements** rather than political cartoons. The main humor pieces include: 1. **"Poetry Gets Him a Year"**: A joke about a defendant accused of theft who performs a silly song for the judge ("Johnnie was a joker...") to gain sympathy—the judge sentences him to a year anyway. The satire mocks both the defendant's misguided strategy and judicial leniency. 2. **"Her Bluff Called"**: A brief anecdote where a young woman claims she walked alone in the park, but her return with a man's walking stick exposes her lie—gentle social satire about courtship deception. 3. **"Helpful Suggestion"**: A quip about a divorce complaint that the husband hugs too affectionately; the columnist sarcastically suggests she use a "tackling dummy" instead—satire on marital excess and domestic relations. The page is **mostly advertisements** for liquor, books, and firearms (Iver Johnson revolvers), interspersed with light, non-political humor typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ASK FOR and see that you get OLD CROW RYE Sold everywhere in bottles. Never sold in bulk. Ste The iiidg. Dayton, dale Bugs and Animals that Talk WILL amuse both big and little folks t0 see Dirks’s fanny bugs and animals living, and acting just like real children and Epevncops. ‘To this artist belongs the distinction ng our eyes to the quaint litte life in our ‘midst, ana his work is now famous. His best have been collected and published, with vying verses, in a charming little book “Bugville Life” she most welcome and a fit you can buy for. chi He pa ron an iate Christmas uy for chase conaina sty. Printed on heavy wood-cut paper will ying verses m large, cleat type, and Cover m colors. was ‘send ** Bugville Life” to any address in 4 States upon receipt of price, twenty- We wit send * Rogville Life,” together with fe Sry Pictures tof Linke Ones ounted sa Gir, Neavy board for tittle bngers to handle, Si recent of price, ity cents Fer toeagn erdety. 4d ten cents for extra POETRY GETS HIM A YEAR. “I'm a real actor, judge, and Tl sing ou a song to prove it,” said Kyle Fox, who was put on trial to-day before Judge Wofford for stealing crackers and cheese from a grocery store. “Don't.” begged the judge, throwing up his hands.“ However, you may re- cite the words.” The prisoner, who had pleaded in de- fense that he was starving and “too proud to beg,” thereupon, in a final effort to obtain mercy, broke into this carol : “ Now Johnnie was a joker, He went upon the stage, Had lots of nerve, would never swerve, And thought he'd he the rage. He walked out to the footlights All painted like a moke, The ladies sighed, the gallery cried, When Johnnie cracked a joke. * Junk, junk, junk, Put it away in your trunk, Junk, junk, juni “One year in jail,” interrupted the judge. —Chicago Record-Herald, IT NEVER FAILS TO PLEASE. Finks —“ To-wlay | pleased a pretty woman by telling her a certain red-laced, snub-nosed, bald-heailed mortal looke | like her. Winks—» Get out!” Finks —“ The red-faced, snub-nos baid-headed mortal was her first baby.” HER BLUFF CALLED. Senator Depew tells this : A young and pretty girl had been out walking. On her return her mother said : « Where have you been, my dear “Only walking in the park,” was her rep “With whom ?” pursued her mother. “No one, mamma,” said the young girl. “No one 2” her mother repeated. ‘0 one,” was the reply. “Then, "'said the older lady, “ explain how it is that you have come home with a walking-stick instead of an umbrella. —Exchange. HELPFUL SUGGESTION. A woman in Logansport is suing for divorc-, one of her complaints being that her husband is too loving and hugs her | Railway wrh too great constancy and exuberance. She should have a tackiing dummy rigged up and make her spouse try out his en- Jergy on it before being admitted to the | house.—/ndianapolis Star. A Safe Gif for any man 24 An Iver Johnson Re- volver assures double safety—not only in the ordinary sense of pro- tection, but safety against accident. It is the only revolver with our patented safety lever, which makes it possible to ‘‘Hammer the Hammer” ofa loaded Iver Johnson Safety Automatic Revolver without its going off. There is alwavs a space between the revolver hammer and firing-pin which only our safety-lever can fill. That never happens until you actually pull the trigger. No Fear of Accidental Discharge but when you do pull the trigger, it never fails, Our booklet, “Shots,” and handsome catalogue will be sent free on request. Hammer, $5.00 For sale by all hardware ‘our name is on the bat Hammerlesa, $6.00 sporting goods dealers. Be sar0 (Sa heer neat on the grip, Iver Jobason’s Arms and Cycle Works, (53. River S., Fitchburg, Mass. ‘Makers of Iver Jatuoen Bieyelae and Biagio Barrel Shotguns WHERE “ MELANCHOLY DAYS” ARE NOT. Poets are inspired by their surround- d the songs they sing are attuned in harmony with what they themselves have seen and know of nature. fore northern poets sing of springtime as the season of flowers, of hope and prom- ise, and of the autumn as the season of the sere and yellow leaf. A gifted writer has said that had Bryant been born and lived in Florida instead of Massachusetts he would never have written of autumn : * The melancholy days are come, the saddest ‘of the year, Of wailing winds and naked woods and meadows brown and sere.” “When we raise a crop of Florida poets,” said the same writer, «their songs of autumn will be songs of joy.”” To correctly picture Florida during autumn and the greater part of the win- ter is to imagine the magical charm of| Indian-summer days under skies of blueness and amid perennial bloom and verdure, with no hint of the sere and yellow leaf.” To reach this portion of the southland in the quickest time and most luxurious manner take the Southern over which is maintained a double daily train service between New York and Jacksonville direct. The New York and Florida Express, leaving New York at 3.25 p. m., carries drawing-room sleeping-cars for Charlotte, Columbia, Au- I.W. Harper Rye “On Every Tongue” Pure and fragrant; rich and mellowed by old age; it warms the cocKles of the heart with the spirit of Sopa cheer and the es good fellowship. whiskey for all use: nce of The best Sold by leading dealers everywhere. Teles Parare Bepartment; Jodge Com 5 Fourth Avenue, New York. eat! There-| New York to Jackson gusta, Savannah, Jacksonville, and Port Tampa; and the Washington and Florida Limited, which leaves New York at 12.10 a. m., carries drawing-room sleeping-car le, parlor - Jacksonville to Port Tampa, and observa- tion-car Washington to Columbia; and both trains are equipped with superb din, ing-cars. Early in January the sumptu- ous“ Southern's Palm Limited " will be re- sumed. For further information write to or call on Alex. S. Thweatt, Eastern Pas- senger Agent, 1185 Broadway, New York, The Prettiest Auto Pidure Out *JILTED® "I could be happy with either, ‘Were ‘tother dear charmer away.® ‘We will’ send this handsome picture, beautifully printed in sepia on heavy coat- ed paper, suitable for framing, size 107-8 3155-8, cecwely pecked, te any adden in the United States upon receipt of price, TWENTY-FIVE CENTS Address Company, 225 Fourth Avenue, ee : BLOOD POISON FOR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS we have made the cure of Iiood Poison a Blood Polson Permanently Cured. get lag ietgtn SCE are seme Se Sint Sats ke and Boone) rurne in. }nhoveg ens! Throat ve lored Spots, Ulcers: a any part of the’ body, ‘Hair or Eyebrows Lorytond ‘write for proofs of cures. too-page COOK REMEDY CO. 1480 MASONIC TEMPLE, Chicago, I1L, U. S.A. comicbooks.com