Judge, 1905-12-16 · page 29 of 48
Judge — December 16, 1905 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a nostalgic narrative poem by S.E. Kiser, illustrated with charming ink sketches. It depicts a wealthy businessman revisiting his childhood home, which is now for sale in declining condition. The satire contrasts the man's sentimental attachment to humble memories—his mother shelling peas, his father's rough discipline, a lost childhood romance with freckled Melissa—against his present status as a powerful urban magnate who commands respect and wealth. The joke is that despite his financial success and ability to easily afford the property, he repeatedly refuses to buy it at the asking price. His nostalgia proves shallow; material success has made him calculating and detached from genuine sentiment. He leaves "snapping" the mental picture for himself rather than reclaiming the actual place, suggesting that for the gilded-age wealthy, even sentimentality becomes a commodity consumed rather than genuinely felt.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NS STARS Tty/s H, HERE'S the old home-place once more! ‘Tis hard, indeed, to check the tears ; ‘There stands the plum-tree by the door— By yonder gate I first became A mark for skillful Cupid's dart— Melissa was the maiden’s name— How little everything appears! On yonder steps I often sat And watched the stars come out at night ; And there ’s the little garden that Gave dear old mother such delight. Methinks I see her working there Among the radishes and things As oft I used to see her, ere I'd learned what power money brings. No, no, your price is much too high ; The house is falling to decay ; My fond heart prompts me still to buy, But I'll be moving on my way. Up in that gabled room I slept Beneath the slender whitewashed beams, And over childish troubles wept, And there I dreamed my boyhood’s dreams, And there's the field where, long ago, When father wasn't watching me, T used to lean upon the hoe, Or loll beneath the greenwood tree. In fancy I can hear him still ‘As, coming on me from behind, He spoke as fathers often will Who are not gentle and refined. No, keep the place ;‘the price you set Is much tov high! I'll go my way— "Twas there that mother used to get The catnip which we dried: Good-day. And with a look she won my heart. I seem to see her standing there With spacious freckles on her nose ; A golden glint was on her hair, ‘And T looked foolish, I suppose. She dallied with me for a while, My eager heart was filled with joy ; Then, woman-like, she turned to smile Upon an older, bigger boy. She lives in yonder cottage now— I saw her as I passed this way— ‘The hair looked red above her brow, The years have used her ill. Good-day. Twas but a foolish whim that drew Me back to gaze upon the scene ; The soil has little worth, the view Is poor, the house is small and mean ; The water from the dear old well Is warmish now and rather flat— Ah, there's the limb from which I fell While practicing to “skin the cat"! Let strangers dwell here, if they please ; I've seen the place and crave no more, "Twas here that mother shelled the pease While I cut notches in the door ! Where marble structures tower high I speak and other men obey ; If [had stayed here—but, good-bye, I must be going on my way. "Twas in yon meadow that I tried, One day when father drove to mill, To break the two-year-old to ride— My collar-bone is tender still. The fodder-cutter used to stand Within that weather-beaten shed ; With but three fingers on one hand I've bravely fought my way ahead. ‘The world has learned to know me well Since out of that high walnut-tree While putting up a swing, I fell— The dent may be there yet—ah, me! No, no; your price is much too high— You might, perhaps, take less, you say? No matter ; I don't care to buy, T’ve lost the notion now. Good-day. Beyond that hill they lie asleep Forever free from worldly cares ; And here they watched me learn to creep And travel backward down the stairs. "Twas here that mother saw me take My first uncertain steps ; ‘twas here I smeared the window-sill with cake And got a slap for every smear. ‘Twas here I knelt at mother’s knee And learned the little prayer she taught ; "Twas here that father planned for me And found his planning come.tonaught. No, no; not at the price you name— 2, Absolved from care, they sleep away— I've snapped the house, and I can frame The picture for myself. Good-day. comicbooks.com