Judge, 1905-12-09 · page 13 of 17
Judge — December 9, 1905 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **light satirical humor and advertisements** rather than political cartoons. The left column features genteel poetry and anecdotes mocking romantic idealization and human folly. "At the End of Arcady" satirizes the anticlimactic reality of romantic love—even Cupid yawns once the journey ends. Other brief jokes target scientific farming's impracticality, misheard words ("embracing" climate), and religious hypocrisy (difficulty finding clergy to marry people). The right side is dominated by a large **Christmas diamond advertisement** for Loftis & Company jewelers, promoting diamonds as holiday gifts with elaborate marketing copy about gift-giving traditions. Below is a Postum coffee substitute advertisement featuring testimonials claiming coffee causes heart problems, while Postum provides safe nutrition—typical early-20th-century health-claim advertising. The "Spendthrift" illustration at bottom depicts someone squandering money. Overall, this reflects **Judge's satirical commentary on middle-class American life**—romance, farming, marriage, and conspicuous consumption—alongside period advertising making dubious health claims.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AT THE END OF ARCADY. ‘At the uttermost end of Arcady There lies a garden fair, d two and two the lovers be Who one day wander there. And Love, who walked with them debonair Through the pathways intricate, ‘Sits down at last on a mossy stair And yawns and is glad of it. An tthe uttermost end of Arcady ‘A quiet garden lies, peaceful and fair and still to see Under its cloudless skies. There comes no danger to rouse sur- prise, The fears o° the road are gone, But little Love rubs his drooping eyes ‘And smothers a sleepy yawn. At the uttermost end of Arcady Is the goal of settled things ; strange they walk in it soberly Who strove for the peace it brings. The still night goes and the full sun swings His lamp o'er the silent lawns, But little Love sits with listless wings And stretches his arms and yawns. —Theodosia Garrison, in Life. A FAILURE. “[hear your son has given up scien- tific farming.” “Yes.” “What was the trouble ?” [believe he found that in order to be successful the scientific farmer would have to work just the same as if he were doing it the other way.” MORE “EMBRACING.” Awoman once told Lord Palmerston that her maid, who had been with her in the Isle of Wight, objected to going thith- er again because the climate was not “embracing " enough. “What am I to do with such a woman?" she asked, “You had better take her to the Isle of Man nest time,” said Lord Palmerston. AND THIS IN BOSTON. “Don't you think Miss Sharp,” said the clergyman, “that since marriage is such a holy thing itis singular martiages are not made in heaven ? “Perhaps, sir,” replied the young is difficult to find a clergy- Boston Transcript. YE OLD ALMANAC. An old minister in Weston, Mass., tells how implicitly the people of a generation ago trusted the weather predictions of the “Farmer's Almanac.” One of his flock had died, and the pastor was consoling his widow. The subject of the funeral came up and he asked when it was to be. “Wait, doctor,” said she; must have it on a pleasant day.” She hurriedly searched the almanac, and the day was set. The Question How can man best con- serve his health and increase his bodily vigor is readily answered by those who drink EVANS’ ALE. The Knowing How is in the drinking. ‘TOUCHIN’ ON AND APPERTAININ’ TO OS- KALCOSA. Mrs. J. L. Meeks has arranged with her friends, old and young, to surprise her husband, J. L. Meeks, the famous sorghum manufacturer northeast of town, on Saturday evening. A team belonging to Edd Briggs ran away with Harry Harding and John Alli- son one day last week and shook things around pretty lively, but did no damage except cracking a rib or two for John, which goes rather hard with a man of his age. John Randall had a lively runaway last week, which smashed his buggy up in good shape. Mr. Ramsey put a new roof on the kitchen that he built for his man that takes care of the mules at the mine. * Robert Thomas and wife have returned from their visiting in Ohio and report a fine time. They visited thirty homes, at- tended one funeral, one wedding, and were at church twice.—Oskaloosa (Jowa) | Globe. In need of sumething for indigestion? Take Abbott's Angostura Bitters. At all druggists’. A FOOLISH PURCHASE. “Is it true," asked Mrs. Oldcastle, * that Mr. Tinkieton has bought a genuine Corot ?" “Thadn’t heard about it,” replied her hostess. “I don’t see why he should want one, though, when you can get talkin’ parrots so cheap.” THE “COFFEE HEART.” 'f 1S AS DANGEROUS AS THE TOBACCO OR WHISKEY HEART. “Coffee heart” is common to many coffee users and is liable to send the owner to his or her long home if the drug is persisted in. You can run thirty or forty yards and find out if your heart is troubled. A lady who was once a victim of the “coffee heart” writes from Oregon: “Thave been a habitual ‘user of coffee all my life and have suffered very much in recent years from ailments which I became satisfied were directly due to the poison in the beverage, such as torpid liver and indigestion, which in turn made my com- plexion blotchy and muddy. “Then my heart became affected. It would beat most rapidly just after I drank my coffee, and go below normal as the coffee effect wore off. Sometimes my pulse woul go as high as one hundred and thirty-seven beats to the minute. My family were greatly alarmed at my condi- tion and at last mother persuaded me to begin the use of Postum Food Coffee. “T gave up the old coffee entirely and absolutely, and made Postum my sole table beverage. This was six months ago, and all my ills, the indigestion, in- active liver and rickety heart action, have passed away, and my complexion has be- come clear and natural. The improve- ment set in very soon after I made the change, just as soon as the coffee poison had time to work out of my system. “My husband has also been greatly benefited by the use of Postum, and we find that a simple breakfast with Postum is as satisfying and more strengthening than the old heavier meal we used to have with the other kind of coffee.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. There's a reason. Read the little book, “The Road to Wellvill ROMEIKE’S fs sercay noblest on which Jos went to be op vo dasa? and periodical of im in the Prana Th AN AHI) Mi Wy owen, Tnesmpeution sirens tbo True Merit Wins! isvaftea state ena toruise couaiees) Sepme won the Gold Medal “The ighees aera Ne scage oy e endorsement of The Loftis Bystem could be given. Sore THE SPENDTHRIFT “Get money, still get money, boy, no matter by what means.” ‘This picture, hanchomely printed in embomed @yle on heavy coated paper, natural color, in a warm black half-tone tint, with wide margin, witable to frame, pame-partout or mount, size 12 1-2 2 17, sent upon receipt of price, Silty cents. Addrew Pidure Department, Judge Company, 225 Fouth Avenue, New Yok 9¢ ff tte 8 “The New York Central Leads the World.”—Lesue's Weextr. comicbooks.com