Judge — November 25, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UW. xl “islgsanrs !) Favorire TUKEY breas’ wuz made fo’ w'ite folks— I'm gwine back ter mah ol’ fav'rite— I done tried it an’ I know— Sweetes’ meat in all de lan’; Had mah full on las’ T’anksgibin’, Fat an’ juicy—gee, Miss Lucy! An’ I sho’ don't want no mo’, Mah ol’ fav’rite beats de ban’, Let de ham stay in de smoke-house, Let de tu’key gobble on ; Yo! jes’ gimme mah ol’ fav'rite, T'll be happy sho ’s yo’ bo'n. I won't need no mincemeat sweet'nin’, Ain't I tol’ yo wot's mah fav'rite?— An’ no cidah f’um de press, Gal, don’t stretch yo'r mouf so wide! "Cause I tell yo’ mah ol’ fay'rite Mah ol’ fav'rite 's Georgy ‘possum, On Tranksgibin’ Day is bes’. Wid de ‘taters on de side! suas x. novo. REALLY SERIOUS. ‘THAT I don’t have to pay any income-tax, plumbers’ bills, or alimony. s4]'M BLUE.” That I have no passion for deviled crabs, goose-liver pie, problem novels, or “That's nothing, Brace ap and be gay. Some- thing worse than that ails me, and see how bright mental philosophy. That I am so poor that I have none of the worries of the rich. Tam.” That I am not irresistibly drawn toward Ibsen, Mary Baker Eddy, Elbert Hub- “What ails you ?” bard, Henry James, or the North Pole. “ My wife is blue. . That my suit is only in its third season and still looks as if it were worth 4.99. That I am still alive, considering that so many people are killed by railroad A HEAVY ACQUAINTANCE, accidents. . Manager—' Now, for this position we require a That while it takes the bon-vivant ten minutes to deliver his order to the waiter, yan who has a large acquaintance.” I can get my ham-sandwich and coffee in three minutes. Applicant— Well, I'm acquainted with the sec- That with the itch, typhoid, compound comminuted fractures and toothache in setary of war, Mr. Taft.” the world, the only things that bother me are a tendency toward laziness and a wild indulgence in the Sunday issues. That there is something the matter with my internal ear, so that I don't catch with much directness the effects of the six pianos, three flutes, and two cornets that dwell in the same block that I do. That, while I always champion the cause of higher education, I myself do not spend many hours in the study of poker, pinochle, the racing-chart, the smart set, frenzied finance, or the drama. MATWAN M4. Levy IN THE- LAND OF THE SULTAN. 46 \VELL,” said the sultan of Turkey as he saw the Thanksgiving sun rise majes- tically over the harem roof; «* what have we got to be thankful for ?” “We might be thankful because there are two kinds of turkeys,"" responded the grand vizier. “We sultanly should,” retorted the ruler, who was so pleased with himself that he summoned his 438th wife and told her the love-story of a turkey who had a feather beau, but who didn’t know enough to wear it around her neck during the thankful season A FANTASY, HE globular, fat pampkin now The merry urchin learns to skate, Is changed from green to gold ; And often gets a fall. ‘The cider paints the bumpkin’s brow The clubman’s ‘skate now lasts so late With more than he can hold. He don't get home at all. He battles with his patient frau He, too, has ‘* poker” in his pate, Till floored with poker cold. ‘And stays to “pass” and “call.” ‘The orator in figures glows— Now, isn’t this a funny sphere? He stabs the trust nabob, We're whirling on through space— But never figures what Ac owes Let every fellow persevere The public for his job. To grab his neighbor's place. ‘A WRONG ATTRACTION. ‘The damsel dreams of balls and beaux, Be thankful we are all so queer Proresson—"' Dot poy ohf yours vill nefer make a Poor father feeds the mob. That folly "s no disgrace. musician. He pays attention only to dot pedal vorking ERNEST MEAL LOM. up und down, und nefer looks at der notes.” comicbooks.com