Judge — November 25, 1905 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PRIMER OF THE SEASON. APA, who started Thanksgiving habit ? The Puritans, my son. Who were the Puritans, papa? ‘They were the first settlers in New England. They dared anybody to worship the way their consciences did not dic- tate. ‘Whose consciences, papa? The Puritans’, my son. Why did they establish Thanksgiving, papa? One day it occurred to Governor Bradford that Bos- ton was not yet founded, and wouldn't be for quite a while. On communicating this to the others there was a great, spontaneous shout of gratitude. The day on which he happened to realize this happy condition of affairs was set apart as a national holiday. But now that Boston is founded, why do people go on giving thanks, papa? Partly because the fall elections are always over by that time, partly because that day ends the football season, but mainly from force of habit, my son. Now run and help sister seed the raisins. ermcatanp Ww. crusax. THE THANKSGIVING OF. JAMES. |OW, it came along about the latter part of the Eleventh Month that there was scattered abroad throughout the Land certain Writings by the Chief Reler, say- ing, “Cheer up. Everything is lovely, If it ain't make out like it is. Lo, this is the great day of Thunksgiving. Think what might have been and get glad.” - And James read these things and pondered deeply. And after much thought he sate down and wrote unto a Kinsman, saying, «Things have been coming our ‘THE FOOTBALL PLAYER'S STATEMENT. (With a pontess ink-portrait taken om the spot.) USED to be a pleasant sight, A goodly thing to see, And when I walked by day or night All eyes were turned on me. Apollo Belvedere was not A better-figured chap ‘Than I was, friends, before I got Myself into this scrap. Do I look it— Say, do T look it? this My arms were round and white and strong, My legs were firm and straight ; I did not wear my hair so long It matted on my pate. My face was not an ugly sore, My eyes were quite a dream ; And I was not a wreck before I joined that football team. Do I look it— Say, do I look it? wmusam j. Lasertron, WHERE THE HORSE-FLY COMES IN. First suo—"' These automobiles are great things, aren't they ?"* Second suo— Well, they're all right going out, but you almost always have to get a horse-fly to haul them back. way. Let us gather together at your abode and show that we are thankful.” (Which was a soft manner of saying, « The Thanksgiving dinner is on you.”) Early on the day appointed James yoked up a team of mules and, besprinkling his family about in a wagon, set out for the tall timber where dwelt his Kins- man. And the Beasts hearkened unto his voice and fled with great joy down a steep hill, and at the foot thereof they stopped with an unmistakable stop. And the Nigh mule stood thoughtfully upon his head for the space of a few moments, laugh- ing softly within himself, And James and his family became mingled with the dust of the road and the branches of the trees. Then the mules gat busy and hiked off into a neighboring County and returned no more forever. And after a while an aged Party came along that way with a load of wood and a game eye, And in and for the consideration of several pieces of silver he undertook to carry them to the Kinsman’s abode. And after a great while they arrived. And they found there another Kins- man from afar, wearing precious stones and fine apparel. And as they sate and talked he told James of the many herds of cattle that were his in the Far West. And James ceased talking and imagined a few things on his own hook, ‘Lo, I am doing pretty fairly well myself,” he said. And he pulled from his wallet a roll of money— even his last month’s salary and Ten Dollars which he FOOD FOR IMAGINATION. *Rastus (just coming in)—"* Hol’ on, dar, Mirandy! Doan’ lug dat tu’key off so quick. Miranpy—" Wot's de mattah wid yo"? Yo’ kain't hab none ob dis yere bird.”* *Rastus—"'I Jes’ want sumfin’ fo' mah imagination ter wuk on." had borrowed from the Dealer in Groceries for whom he labored. And he said, «I picked this up on a little deal just before [left town. It is easy. Ido so and thusly every day.” And the Other Kinsman looked hungrily at the wallet and said, +* Let me have Ten of those, and when my Banker remits I will return them.” And James, knowing not how to refuse him, tore himself loose from the Ten, And about that time they went in to Dinner, and James said, + Here's where I get even.” And the table was filled with divers herbs of the field and all manner of meat and bread. And James fought a good fight with all of them, thinking nothing of three helpings of Turkey, and esteeming five biscuits as a mere morsel. And in the latter time they dished up a great mess of Apple Dumplings, to the which James did much dam- age—insomuch that it was with great labor that he lifted himself from his seat at the finish. And about Nightfall the Kinsman drove them to a station, where they took a train for home. And about the 12th watch of the night his Wife awoke from a deep sleep and said, «+ Dear, aren't you thankful that the day is over with?” And James said he was. M. ROB. KEEBLE. EVERY man likes to be different from his fellows. Did you ever notice the pride of the man whose doctor has told him that he has an unusually sensitive stomach ? WHAT SAVED HIM. Burrato—" The only reason I'm not dead 1s because I'm worth more alive.” Turxer—"'1 wish It was that way with me." comicbooks.com