Judge — November 18, 1905 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN ORTHOGRAPHIC ‘TRAGEDY. ITH a melancholy laugh He disturbed a yearling calf That was busy eating cha From a trough. Like an arrow, straight and true, Toward an iron gate he flew, And somehow, in getting through, Broke it off. ‘They removed him from the scene Him whose end had been so mean, ROOSEVELT’S GOOD FORTUNE. HE Nestor of the senate in length of service, the honorable W. B. Allison, is very much at home with his Iowa friends, and especially at state-conven- tion time. On the night before a recent convention held at the state capital a prominent politician took some time telling in detail the story of President Roose- velt's mistakes.” His remarks were so directly ad- dressed to the senator that everybody in the room turned to him to hear what he might say in response The genial senator's vision complacently swept the room, and, with that irresistible smile which tells that And with sorrow that was keen Raised Taller than the tall giraffe. There they carved his epitaph, That the foul work of the calf Might be known, 5. xiser. something ’s coming. he quietly remarked, *Gentlemen, I've been in politics a good many years, as you know, and have run up against all sorts of people, as you may guess; but of all the public men T have come to know, Theodore Roosevelt is pre-emi- nent in at least one respect—he huts «t positive genius Sor making fortunate mistakes!” a stone UP AGAINST IT. Y DEAR,” said Mr. Ru theroost, «this meal is horrible. A good cook is a duty that you owe yourself and your family “All right,” said Mrs. R.; ++ but are you willing to discharge nt duty 2” JUDGES FAVORITES ancaingles GERTRUDE COGHLAN IN F. F. PROCTOR 5 NEW ALL-S(AR FIPTH-AVENUE STOCK-COMPANY. Your iilustrious father. Your famous Aunt Rose, Were ‘the goods" t we'd rather Have you come and pose, With your rich, golden tresses, Your eyes that appeal, With the simplest of dresses WHAT'S THE USE? Landlady—" Are you aware, Mr. Skidoo, that the less one eats the longer one lives ?" Mr. Skidoo (with his mouth full) re! But what's the use of living that way ?” THE POINT OF VIEW. Smithers used to he always talking about how he loved the country. He never says anything about it now Down— He's living in the country now.” TRUE PHILANTHROPY. Stranger— 1 see Carnegie has offered your town a library.” Uncle ‘Rastus—* Lemme tell yo’ sumpin’, sah—de cryin’ need ob dis town am a circulatin’ hen-coop.”” ONLY HALF. Oh, Martha! that table is too frail to stand on. It won't bear half your weig! Girt—"' That's all right, mom on it—I'm standing on one foot.” Only half my weight is HIS NARROW ESCAPE. LIFE returned home that night rather late from and was met by his wife with a hard, set expres- M&: busae the o} sion on her f “Well, Martha,” he said pleasantly, “any letter come for me? “David Dubblelife,” snapped his wife, you to-day addressed in a woman's handwriting. read it, sir, and now “Good heavens ! in a woman's handwritin ake a clean breast of "— “Wait, David. The letter was a bill that my dressmaker mailed to you.” “TM pay it right away. Wh-e-e-w! this teach you never to suspect me. a letter came to T opened and + Addressed to me ri cried the husband. I confess everything, Martha Now, my dear, let i HOMESICK. YOUNG man from Pedee. P. Q., After leaving his home got so blue That, when he had earned The fare, he returned To Pedee, PQ. p. d. 4: DANGER. Mr. Gauzewino—"'| understand that Miss Moth has announced her engage- ment to Willie Firefly. Mr Fuzzsuzz—"' Yes; another case of the moth and the flame.” comicbooks.com