Judge — October 28, 1905 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE DEAREST YET. HE fairest maid I ever met Was at the track. I see her yet Her supple limbs as sleck as silk, Her forehead crowned with star of milk : Her neck an arch of pride and grace. A flash of spirit in her face ; Her form a sinuous one and fine— Ah, bow I longed to call her mine! Her speed the fastest—so they said— Was what completely turned my head. T looked, and—yes, you may infer My ‘wad backed colurs worn by her. So much her agile gait implied T fel my breast grow hot with pride ; And then there came that restless dash, ‘That overplus of passion, rash— I cannot speak the thoughts that sped Throughout the thing I call my head. Toiily know that later on — Much later—when the race was won, Within the paddock we two met, And I said, You're the devrest yet!" LURANA W. SHELDON. HE HOLDS THEM FOR HER. Dolly—“ And you say Madge Loverease does less now than she ever did? Ido not see how that is possible. Since quitting school she has done little more than sit and hold her hands.” Bob— True; but, you see, she is engaged now, and her fiancé has relieved her of even that light task.” And we are glad Which makes us sad. But, glad or sad, we go To see you play, THE GIRL AND THE SCHOOLMASTER. THE giggly school-girl who passes notes and otherwise misconducts herself is well known to the suffering pedagogue. Her tricks are usually mirth- Provoking to no one but herself and her coterie of chums; but occasionally she does display a latent keenness that seems to prophesy success in life when the period of nonsense is past, and a young friend of mine is complimented on the following bit of cleverness at the expense of her teacher : She seemed to have an intense + temperamental antagonism" for her principal, a corpulent, bald-headed man, who, to speak charitably, did seem to be somewhat affected mentally by his bodily heaviness, and she looked upon him as a being worthy only of her mischievous gibes. One day he announced that the next note he found circulating about the room would be confiscated and read aloud to the assembled high school, irrespective of its con- tents, So Lydia decided that the next note would be hers. She wrote one and slyly passed it to a neighbor when she was assured by a furtive glance that Mr. Brown was looking her way. + Miss Landis, kindly bring me your note,” he directed tri- umphantly. Lydia obeyed with assumed reluctance. “You, may remain here in front of the whole school while I read,” continued the principal majestically ; and he opened the note. Lydia suppressed a delighted giggle, that reached the climax when the principal's eyes fell upon what she had written. But he did not fulfill his threat; instead he colored, coughed, and commanied her to return to her seat. Afterward Lydia regaled her friends with the joke. She had written only this couplet entitled + Lines to a Bald-headed Man”: THE LATEST. Buo—" Come on, fellows! This bump- ing the bumps is great.”” “It by thy hairs thy sins should numbered! be, The angels in heaven are not more pure than thee." mai AN OUT-OF-DOOR SPORT. Virginia— Does she care for out-of-door sports ?"” Philomena—*\ should say so! Her fellow is a football player.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MARGARET ANGLIN IN “*ZIRA'* The autumn days havecome, In fact, they're nearly gone, And then we're sad because We have to come away. APPLAUSE WAS NOT FOR fondness for applause is well known. An amusing incident is re- a lated of him in Nebraska, It was in Nemaha County, and it 30 happened a well- known Nebraska newspaper man had been there getting up a special edition of a country news- paper. He had succeeded in gaining the good- will of the people, and when he was about to leave a large party of the townspeople gathered to give him a little farewell. Among other things, they brought him a jug of cider, made from apples on the famous Pollard farm, the home of Representative Pollard, a well-known Nebraska politician. As the train was about to pull out the peo- ple set up a great cheer in honor of the news- paper man, and Mr. Bryan, who was on board, rushed to the rear end of the train, thinking of course some one had caught a glimpse of him. But when he emerged from the car, his face wreathed with a broad smile, he saw the news- paper man, with a big jug in his hand, bowing right and left, and he made a hurried exit from the scene. THE BRUTE! s6YOU men do talk about such foolish things!" “Well, madam, we talk about the girls for the most part.” WHY? Dyer—* Any {ool can ask questions.” Ryer—" Why do you?” THE ALTERNATIVE. $e THE autumn leaves are falling dow ‘The long-faced poet cries. But would he have them falling up And cluttering the skies? ~ PHRENOLOGY VINDICATED. Purenotocist—“* Ah, the bumps on this gent’s head show that he should be a king of finance, a trust magnate, a manipulator of monopolies—er— Will somebody please call a policeman? The villain has picked my pockets, which shows the {iifallible accuracy of phrenology, ladies and gentlemen.” : comicbooks.com