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Judge, 1905-09-30 · page 13 of 16

Judge — September 30, 1905 — page 13: what you’re looking at

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Judge — September 30, 1905 — page 13: Judge, 1905-09-30

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertisements and humorous short pieces** rather than political cartoons. The satirical content consists of: **Main Humor Pieces:** 1. **"In the Country"** — A working-class character (dialect suggests Irish-American) complains that his doctor's advice to rest in the countryside is terrible because country birds make noise at night, which he finds worse than urban trolley sounds. The satire mocks both the romanticization of rural life and urban workers' actual preferences for city noise. 2. **"Not in Boston"** — A light joke about a Chicago school principal's embarrassment when his educated daughter uses the scientific term "patella" (kneecap) and he mistakenly examines her elbow instead, missing the obvious reference. 3. **"Her Excuse for Moses"** — Humor from a mangled, grammatically incorrect letter of excuse from an immigrant parent. 4. **"Trouble Ahead"** — A brief wordplay about a man marrying a stuttering woman. The page is otherwise dominated by **product advertising** (cocktails, soap, insurance, pianos) typical of early 20th-century magazines.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

'HE preliminary zest to a viva- cious dinner is supplied by CLUB COCKTAILS. No made- by-guesswork cocktail can be as satisfactory. The flavor, taste, and strength of CLUB COCKTAILS are unequalled. Choice liquors, delicate blended and aged to a mellow ody, make CLUB brand reculiarly fit for home dinners. Just strain through cracked ice end serve. CLUB is the cocktail for the knowing ones. Seven kinds — Manhattan, Martini, etc. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Proprietors Hartford New York London Refreshing Sleep Comes After a Bath with warm water and Glenn's Sul- phur Soap. It allays irritation and leavesthe skin cool, soot and refreshed. Sold by drug- gists. Always insist on Glenn’s Sulphur Soap ‘HUll's Hate and Whisker Dye, Black or Brown, St. ROMEIKE?’S [et ost, Boras a piece hoi dare rea ich may appear aboot yeu your ends fan cas oe ae os ‘United Seates and is searched. Terms, $5.00 for soo notices, Hany Romaice, 33 Union Square, N.Y. Just Wait Till 1 Tell You! You can get seven lovely pictures and a set of twelve Tally Cards, dainty as they can be, with silk cords and tamels, ALL FoR SEVENTY CENTS IN. THE COUNTRY. Me doctor sez: “ You ter de country ! Git out wid de hayseeds an’ rest.” An’ me, feelin’ bum, got ter thinkin® Dat mebbe ‘twas all fur de best. So here's where I landed last We'n'sd'y ; Right here wid de “come-ons” and “ Rubes,” - Wid nothin’ around me but scenery, An’ breathin’ fresh air trough me tubes. But rest? Jumpin’ Felix! where is it? Well, mebbe de country is fine, But, say, if dese noises is “ quiet” De clang o' de trolley fur mine! T ain't slep’ a wink, on de level! L ain't closed a peeper at night. Yer see, I can't stand fur de racket Dese country birds makes w'en dey fight. « Katie did,” yells one bird ; den anudder He ups an’ he tells him * You lie !" Den dey’re off in a bunch, de whole party, ‘An’, gee! how de langwidge does fly. Flynn's boiler-shop simply ain't in it Wid dat aggregation. Nit! Nein! If dese country noises is “ quiet” De clang 0’ de trolley fur mine ! Back! Back to old civilerzation I'm makin’ de straightest bee-line. Rest up wid de Rubes, if yer wants ter— De clang o' de trolley fur mine! —T. A. Daly. The Sohmer Piano is an instrument that is an ornament to any parlor. NOT IN BOSTON. The little daughter of a Chicago public- school princigal is now a pupil at the ex- perimental school at the university, where she learns some things not taught in the regular city schools. ‘One day her father found her crying. “What's the matter, Noreen ?” he asked. “TI fell and bumped my: patella,” she replied. Remember, this was in Chicago, and not in Boston. Papa was sympathetic. Poor little girl!” he said, and proceeded, with the best intentions, to examine her elbow. Noreen broke away in disgust. “ Huh !” she snorted, “haven't you ever learned anything? I said my patella! That isn't my elbow. My elbow is my great sesa- moid.” Papa went for a Latin dictionary. —Exchange. HER EXCUSE FOR MOSES. A teacher in a lower west-side public school recently received the following let- ter: « Kindly exculpate my son Moses from being one aggrigate day absent, Be- cause his mother substanting sick, Moses had to sojourn in the house perpetual, so kindly apology him for not coming once day to school."—New York Sun. TROUBLE AHEAD. Towne— Poor Dumley’s in for it. He married a girl who stutters, you know.” Browne—"* Well, it shouldn't be hard to out-talk a woman like that.” Towne—' Yes ; but she not only stut- ters, but is also very determined ; if she ever starts to say anything she'll stutter through it if it takes all night."—-Philadel- phia Press. LET THE CHILDREN TELL THEIR OWN ‘STORIES. Send ten cents for one of our ‘Story Pic- tures,” beautifully printed on heavy coated These pictures, pasted in an album, with their little stories written out, will make a most beautifal souvenir of a child's early life. For fifty cents we will send seven cuts, not one of them of a Character to be out of place in a child’s hands. ‘Address Judge Company, 225 Fourth Avenue, w York. JHE LOFTIS CREDIT SYSTEM can be made a great convenience at Christmas, New Year's, Birthdays, Weddings, Analversaries, etc. Itenables you to make a beautiful and valuable of much Di ‘win Hearts, Make you can ‘loved one your choice of the splend! in our Catalog. Write Today for the Loftis Catalog. ariy Sie rages wit vet gy st heats wiv fouea rand tn the privacy of your’ OB. cada with press. otice. aa rest Shayms namin Lrg renee ing reine pao ela Diamond Cutters J WATCHMAKERS, JEWELERS BROS Dept.K40, 92 to 98 State Street, U. S. A. & C0. 1858 CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, THE MAS THE , STRENGTH OF GIBRALTAR and the little family in your cheerful home is still unprotected from the trials of financial stress if you should be suddenly taken away. Save them that trial. Save a little money which now goes for inciden- tals and let it build a barrier wall against the attacks of want, when such protection is most needed. The Prudentia can help you build that wall. It is no idle catch phrase that has inseparably linked the Prudential name with the rock of Gibraltar. It Aas the strength of Gibraltar, and you may well use its resources, its solidity, its liberal terms of insurance to safeguard the financial welfare of your family. Another ‘week has begun. Write to-day for circular, «How Can I Invest One Hundred Dollars per Year to the Best Advantage ?” THE PRUDENTIAL INSURANCE COMPANY of Amerita JOUN ¥.DEYDEN incorporated. ssa Stock Company by the State of New Jersey HOME OFFICE President Dept. 8 Newark, N. J. comicbooks.com