Judge — September 16, 1905 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE NEXT RUSSIAN NAVAL MANCEUVRE IN THE EAST. The quest for the interned ships. BETRAYED BY SCIENCE. 6s THESE modern improvements are great.” “«Great they may be from your standpoint, but not from mine.” + Why are you so pessimistic all of a sudden ?" “« Had there been no modern improvements, as you call them, my name would never have appeared on the blotter in that hall of fame known as the police-station.” +“ What's the rest of the story ?” A few years ago I was desperately hard up. One day, when I was down to my last dollar, I went to a restaurant, where I ate ten cents’ worth of food. I then conveniently lost the check which the waiter had given me. When I told him that he had given me none he gave me another and I paid the second and laid the first aside for a rainy day—the next one. The next day I ate a square meal and the waiter gaye me a check for fifty cents. When I went up to the desk to pay my bill I offered the ten-cent check left over from the day before. ‘don’t know what it was about me that aroused the cashier's suspicions, but I do. know that I was held up by him and the x-rays sent out in such a direction that my stomach was right in the lime-light. «There, in all their con- scious guilt, were located the articles of food which I had eaten, and as the cashier called them off the proprie- tor, who had just appeared on the scene, put them down on paper—ham and eggs, coffee, pie and—but never mind the harrowing details. Suffice it to say that after the prices had been put against the edibles and the grand total of fifty cents footed up, I was arrested for obtai TOO SLOW FOR HIM. Juvce Luap—“' You ain't goin’ away, be you ‘squire, till the game ts out?" ‘Sourre Buap—‘'I may haveto. Fact is, { thought" 1g food under contestants to brush up on checkers a little, for I see this false pretenses. No modern improvements for me, my boy. Me for the good old days of the simple life.” FIRED WITH ENTHUSIASM. +4GIR,” said the junior clerk, approaching his employer's desk and beginning his carefully-rehearsed little speech, ‘+I feel that, in consideration of my constantly increasing interest in the business and the resultant value of my cervices to the firm, a slight raise in my sal- ary figures would be appropriate just now. Few young men of to-day are so fired with enthusiasm "—— «Yes, James ; that’s just the word I was trying to think of—you are,"" warmly interrupted the old man, preparing to return to his morning paper. ** You may call at the bookkeeper’s desk as you pass out and draw your pay up to next Saturday night.” wap sanwey. SHE BALKED AT THE HYPHEN. . ‘I THOUGHT she was such an advanced woman because she always insisted she would not give up her name when she married, but would hyphenate it with her husband's.” «She did say so.” jutshehasn'tdoneit.” “No. You see, things sometimes happen very queerly in this world.” «How is that ?” «Her name was Black and her husband's name is Hart. She didn’t like the combination,” MARRY IRVING HORTON. BROKE EVEN. First gambler (in hos- pital) —« The ‘auto’ turned over on meand broke a ver- tebra in the small of my back.” Second gambler— + “Cheer up, old chap; you broke about even, anyway.” ep out and warn the heirs of the e is likely to be hereditary.” comicbooks.com