Judge — September 9, 1905 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘VACATION EXPENSES. THEY bok like this when you figure them up Before you begin to spend : $$$ $ But when you are through and figure them up They look like this at the end: $$ $$ SS SOMETIMES NECESSARY. S6\JHAT are you doing— Ww making jokes?” “They're all written. Now I'm blunting the points, so that they will be seen.” TRULY. Elise— Mamma, what is a riding-habit Mamma —“A riding habit, dear, is what makes people too lazy to walk.” A HAPPY INVESTMENT. +4LJAVE you heard what Sharpe gave his mother- in-law for a birthday present ?” «No; what ?” **An automobile. She's so delighted with it she’s off touring all the time,” A DEFINITION. Monanan — ‘*Phwat is this joo- Jitsoo, Oi dunno?” Moriarty—'' Ut's prize-foightin’ by correspondence, Oi'm thinkin y WHAT ‘HE NEEDED. Patient—" Why are you going to operate on me?” Young doctor— Because I need the money.” Patient —+Well, that’s all right—I didn’t know but you was going to operate on me because you needed the experience.” THAT LOCAL INDIFFERENCE. Explorer— Could you direct me to the north pole ?” Arctic native— Yes. It's about five minutes’ walk from here. I've never seen it myself, but I've been given to understand that some persons consider it a great curiosity.” Yj 4 fy >. KIN 201 sell de sweet, wahm odah in de breeze fum o'ah de fe's? Does you ketch a whiff o' perfume dat de noddin’ cobnstalks yiel’s? Fum de mois’ thick richness of it you kin tell as sho's yo" born Dat de long dry spell am broken ant it’s rainin’ in de cohn, Oh, de rustle and de patter of de rain dat hits de leaves! An’ de welcome of de cool south win’ dat o'ah de cuhnfiel’s breaves. Yo" heart fills up with gladness an’ you quits dem thoughts fohlohn, Foh you feels de Lawd is with you, sence it's rainin’ in de cohn. De tassel-plumes seems censers swingin’ incense thu de air; ‘You kin close yo’ eyes an’ listen an’ dey’s music everywhere: De heaven's sweetness comin’ down, all earthly troubles gone! Foh, glory hallelujah, it’s a-rainin’ in de cohn t HARRIS MERTON LYON. NECESSARY TO WAIT. Se THERE is one great difference between real love and story-book love,” she said regretfully. “What is it?" he asked. ++ In the case of real love you cAn’t turn over to the last chapter and find out how the story is going to end before you permit yourself to become interested in it.” “+L believe,” he returned thoughtfully, ++ that woman's curiosity and impatience would lead her to begin at the wrong end of a real romance if she could.” “Why, of course,” she answered calmly. «Can't you see how much more delightful it would be to begin with marriage and end with courtship?” He considered the matter deeply and shook his head. It is so hard for the heavy masculine mind to follow the light feminine fanc YES, HE HAD SEEN IT. U ‘CLE JOHN was talking of the south and turned to Morton. I suppose you never saw an alligator,” he said. “Of course I have," the boy replied. «+ It's what hatches our chickens—it's a great deal better than an old hen.” JuIcy. «*¢QHE'S a rare cook!" «Yes; this steak és a trifle underdone.” AFTER THE AIRSHIP COMES. Mr. Sriper—“ Confound it! If this alr-ship nuisance isn't stopped pretty soon I'll have to build an alr-ship cellar." ‘ comicbooks.com