Judge, 1905-08-26 · page 7 of 16
Judge — August 26, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces targeting early-20th-century American social conventions: **"Her Conundrum"** depicts a woman playing sports with a man, presenting a logical paradox about losing a romantic relationship—satire on anxieties about women's independence and athletic participation. **"Sounds Fishy"** parodies Keats's poetry, sarcastically comparing predator-prey relationships to social "consolidation" and harmony. The final section mocks Emerson's famous quote "In the Last Analysis All Tongues Are One" by showing cats and an Irishman fighting violently while claiming unity—obvious satire on false idealism and class/ethnic tensions. **"Asked to Yawp"** ridicules rural American hospitality and service, depicting a slovenly waitress at a country hotel serving terrible food with casual indifference—social commentary on rural backwardness versus urban standards. **"All the Comforts of a Summer Hotel"** jokes about Solomon managing multiple wives by organizing them into women's clubs—satirizing both polygamy and the contemporary women's club movement. The humor targets rural life, false philosophy, women's changing roles, and ethnic stereotypes typical of *Judge*'s urban, educated audience.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HER CONUNDRUM. He—"If | beat you in this match I lose you—is that it ?" Sue—" Why, then, you'll lose whether you win or not, won't you?" SOUNDS FISHY. (With apologies to Keats's “Gravahepper and Cricket.") THE lady grasshopper, steeled by a barh, Like siren, lures the perch from shady shore. The cricket, too, in satin sheen arrayed, Glistens like liquid jet amid the ripples, Reckoning the bass to greedy gluttony. Even, tuo, the katydid, in gleaming green, Tempts the fierce pickerel to sudden doom. The jaunty frog, and cke the wriggling worm, Play, too, their part for bait for foolish fish. Thus do the great and small consolidate _ Their interests in trustful confidence— “IN THE LAST ANALYSIS ALL TONGUES ARE ONE."—Hualey. ‘The lion and the lamb lie down together, First cat—* Wow-ow-eow! Me-aouw! Phitts-s-s-s-sip! Wow-a-e-o-u-wow!"" And Leo licks both his chops and the lamb’s! Seconp cat—"* Phitts-s-s-sip!_ Wow-me-a-o-u-w! Wow-me-a-o-u-w! Meouw!"* MF. FOX, Patrick—* Wow! Arrah! Phitts-s-s-s-sip wid yer! Youmurtherin’bloody- shpalpeenyowow-w-w!"" 3 ASKED TO YAWP, BUT HE DIDN'T. [TWAS at a little country hotel, and the only help” in the dining-room was a tall, lank young woman in a blue-and-white calico wrapper reaching not quite to her shoe-tops and a white apron about ten inches wide and fifteen long. She stepped about with a half-languid and half-haughty air, setting before the solitary guest various dishes of half-inch-thick crockery containing fried potatoes, fried ham, fried apples, fried steak, fried hominy-cakes, and eggs fried to a deep brown on both sides. To these was added a cup of straw-colored tea, overflowing into the cracked and chipped saucer. A pitcher of sky-blue milk was thumped down by the tea, and a bowl of brown sugar was shoved toward the guest, thereby causing a swarm of flies to cease feeding for a brief quarter of a minute, when they settled back into the bowl. Then the waitress picked out the clogged holes of the salt-shaker with a hair- pin removed from the Grecian knot at the back of her head, wiped away a smudge of some sort from the plate of the guest with a corner of her apron, and withdrew to the green-baize door separating the dining-room from the kitchen. Reaching the door she said, before passing into the mysteries beyond it, “Say, if you want anything else, mister, jist give a yawp.” But the guest already had much more than he could dispose of without inval- idating his life insurance because of the suicide clause, therefore he did not “ yawp.”” ALL THE COMFORTS OF A SUMMER HOTEL. +4 MY DEAR Solomon,” said the queen of Sheba, how in the world do you manage with so many wives?” WASTED EXERTION. “Very nicely, thank you,” replied Solomon. ++ You sé@, there are enough Panton Priunose—"" Are you sorry you went In the pantry of them to form every kind of a woman's club, and a new arrival every now and "4 Hole Me cte rs a sa shea have givenit to me, then keeps them constantly supplied with a fresh topic of conversation.” anyhow." < comicbooks.com