Judge — August 26, 1905 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

—— — SS = SSS = PUBLISHED WEEKLY Ar rue Pauren Rercpixc, Founrm AVENUE 4xp NINerRExtm StexEt, New Youn. Waster Apvernising Ornici One copy, one year, or sz numbers - One copy, six months, or 26 numbers = ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks Tnclading the Cusisraas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreizn countries in the postal union, $4504 year. Evnoraay sa.is-acexrs—International News Company, Bream's buitding, Chancery Lane, EC, London : Brentana's, denne de "Opera, Paris: Suarhach’s News Exchange, Maing, Germany, The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright tn both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this conyrigh ‘ill be promotly and Digoroasty prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS mast inclose a stamsed and self-addressed envelope with all manascricts, othePieise return of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRA‘VINGS and all contribations sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and address Yoritten plainly on each and evers senarate sbrich, descriptive letter-press should in every instance be writien upon tts indtwidual picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. insure safe and prompt return of material not. IN FUNNY, STAID OLD PHILADELPHIA. THAT FLAMING ORB which shot up in the heavens above the Quaker city portentously and shined for a brief season with such blistering force on the ringsters of that town is shining on, albeit with a more tem- pered and even glow. Mayor Weaver is bringing to light the hidden ways of the men who so lately were his champions and sponsors. Boss Durham was a man of infinite jest while in power, and dearly loved to joke the Pennites. It turns out that, though having nearly all the voters in the town, the ring used to poll about $0,000 extra votes just for fun, it would seem. And here is where the gay, rollicking humor of the bosses comes in. They voted any- thing that came along. Vacant houses, vacant lots, were voted. Then whole streets were voted that were not yet in existence! Then they began to vote the people in the cemeteries. One Arthur Burt, who died in ’59, was still voting hilariously and dutifully in 1904. It was a poor slab ina graveyard that didn’t have its voice in ruling the nation. Departed ‘spirits were even subpaenaed for jury duty now and then. Thus joyously passed the years in Quaker town until this man Weaver waked up and began to tuke notice—and spoilt the fun, I" IS PLEASANT to learn that Mrs. Cassie Chadwick’s creditors will not lose all. They are to get seven mills on the dollar. eee STRANGE PLACE, Is Panama. One week itis a very healthy locality, and the very next, according to the reports (which are always trus worthy), it flops around and gets unbearably noxious. THE FOLK BOOM is making good headway. One write-up dwells fondly on the winning power of the governor’s smile; another men- tions his twenty cigars a day, presumably in evidence of his drawing pow- ers. It is also reported that he takes his whiskey without a “ chaser.”” WOMEN MUST “KEEP” THEIR. HUSBANDS, CCORDING to the revised code of the Methodist Episcopal church, the bride must promise to “love, honor and keep” her husband. The enabling clause in the nuptial formula has been the subject of endless tink- ering of late, but we feel that it ought to stay now for a long period where the Methodists have put it. Strangely enough, the men were less satisfied than the women with the old word ‘* obey.’” So many sweet girls seemed rather to want to pledge obedience. But man in his wisdom, born of effectual experience, knew how sweet- ly those same girls proceeded straightway to obey not, and so quietly worked for a repeal of the statute. The new formula is a revo- lutionary and happy reversal of ancient duty and privilege. The sweet girl now must. agree to keep” the man of herchoice. Thus, claiming her full rights, woman must now agree to do her whole duty, and no man need longer bother himself with the ,uestion of how he is to support a wife. It is interesting to note in this connection that a young woman has lately been telling the public that marriage improves a man. Hence- forth the improvement ought to be more noticeable. We take it that man’s matrimonial outlook was never more inviting. When hereafter he totes the umbrella and the hand-bag, while the woman totes the baby, it will be acknowledged that he is taking his full share of the domestic burden. The accompanying tube oF dnciosure of stamps to the fall amount of postage 1s also rrguired. 12 ISS MYRA KELLEY’S humorous book his won her a rich man for husband, we understand. Mighty fine boost to the profession, as we view it. DITOR WATTERSON is mentioned as the Democratic candidate for president. We shorely would like ter see Marse Henry git inter de race, seh, CIVILIZATION is slowly forging its way forward in the Philippines. Tax-dodging was reported there some months ago, and now a bank has “ gone broke.” Some FOLKS are tearfully supplicating for a cessation of the attacks on J. D. Rockefeller, but most men will feel that they could stand a little knocking if they had Mr. J. D.’s pile. HE HONORABLE Wu Tinz-Fang denies that he started the anti- American boycott. Mr. Wu, since returning home, has succeeded in stopping the practice of “slicing” bad Chinamen. DISMALISM AND ITS PROPHETS. RGUING that the world is about to end, a persuasive exhorter, on a recent sabbath, collected $45.000 for the uses of his sect. With no disposition to flout this belief, it nevertheless calls to mind the tendency of people to take a lugubrious view of things. The sad, the gloomy, the dis- mal and spectral seem to have a fascinating power over the minds of most of us. Ina popular magazine a telling article is written to show that the earth is drying up, its “= waters evaporating, and the springs that once —— bubbled refreshingly from the hillsides are ceas- ing to be. Another writer tells us that nitrogen exhaustion is threatening the very heart of civi- lization, and still another has recently presented a new reckoning, showing that the coal and oil supplies are verging on depletion. A sun-sp: specialist has put forth the view that our solar fire is burning down to slag and cinder, and we may expect the glacial night to set in now at any time. These braying “ sundowners,” the proph- ets of the dismal and the disquieting, are sure of a certain following because of the human prone- ness to the forlorn; but the truly sane folks will not be disturbed. This old earth looks pretty solid and solvent to us. The sun seems to be hold- ing out as well as could be expected, and we propose to go right on as if our lease had centuries to run yet. Meanwhile the nations are talking peace and preparing for war, congress will shortly meet again, and the next campaign draws on apace. There’s lots of fun ahead of us yet. MAMMOTH CAVE is losing its whilom popularity, it be the subway idea is having this effect? Just LEAKS OUT that Connecticut bought 2.650 jack-knives for the last legislature—nine apiece for each solon. Must have whittled the desks up terribly. it is reported. Can THE BARE-HEADED GIRL has been everywhere this summer, and the hatless fad is on. Every man can ste that this is one of the best fads women ever took up. ieee ANDID CRITICISM should always be carefully considered. This from the Izwi Labontu, an African newspaper, ought to sink deep int> the mind of our new naval secretary: ‘* Mr. Charles Joseph Bonaparte, 20 eleng agente e kholo ea molao le setloholo sa Napoleon Bonaparte, o entsoe Mongoli oa United States.”” comicbooks.com