Judge — August 19, 1905 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY Ax sx Panexe Burtprvc, Founrm AVENUE 4xp Niwereextn Staxer, New York. Wasrarn Apvarnisine Orrice—1313 Hartford Building, Chicage, M2. UNITED STATES AND TERMS TO S\ TBER: im apvane One one r, OF so numbers - - - . One copy’ sit onthe crsseambers = 7 = (One copy, for thirteen weeks Tnclading the Crmistatas June. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal anion, $40 year. Evnorsan satss-scunre—laternatioal Nowe Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, E.C, London : Breatane's, toennt de Opera, Paris: Saarbach'e Nowe Exchange, Main, Cormany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright wxll be promptly and rigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamoed and self-addressed ertrelope wth all manascrpts, othefteise return of the Latter when foand unarvailaNe cannot be guaranteed. DRAYVINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department shoald have the sender's fall name and address ‘written platnty on each and every separate shetch. The accompanying Joke or descriptive | ‘ier-press should in évery instance be writien upon its indrosdual picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper. Inclosure of stamps to the full amount of postage is also required. to Insure safe and prompt retarn of material not SETTING OUR STATESMEN TO MUSIC. 'N WONDERLAND PARK, Danville, Illinois, a ‘ splendid band" has been playing all summer a stirring composition entitled ‘Our Uncle Joe.” The piece is said to be ‘ bright and catchy,” and the speaker of the late congress, when set to music, has thrilled the:masses. We mention the incident in order to applaud an innovation as welcome as it is inspiring. All our statesmen ought to be set to music. Music is the sole interpreta- tive art that penetrates to the soul and voices that which is too deep for words. The public has listened to the ‘“chin-music”’ of statesmen long enough. Something rarer, finer—something with the lilting joyousness of the trombone, the cymbal and the bass-drum—is the need of the hour. “Uncle Joe” goes well to a bright, catchy tune. Something “plaintive, wistful and tender, sweet and solemn,” is suggested by the New York Sun for the ‘‘sky-s--aper statesman,” Mr. Fair- banks. It migut be modeled on the theme of that grand old hymn, “ From Greenland’s Icy Mountains.” Senator Platt would have to be set to that melancholy, regretful Scotch air, “Darby and Joan.” Senator Depew would go well with “ Hiawatha”? or ‘Blue Bell.”” Our own Teddy calls for an ‘“‘anvil-chorus” orchestration, with full-organ accompaniment, the throttle thrown wide and all steam on. What could more tunefully express the hon- orable Charles F. Murphy than “In the Shade of the Old Apple Tree”? Mr. Lawson should Tes go into a Bach fugue or a Chopin waltz. And there is Mr. Rockefeller. He would not fit a popular tune. He would have to be set to something lofty, complex, thrilling, beautiful—a Kreutzer S0- hata, say, or the swan song in “Lohengrin.” BY THE WAY, weren’t the Russians due to discuss this peace business over a Christmas dinner in Tokio? M WITTE seems to be strong in the conviction that he and the czar * have never been licked, any way. eee SINCE KANSAS is compelled to use liquor to christen her battle-ship, why not concede something to local preference and let it be ‘‘ White mule’? ees A SOFT, purring sound is heard in the vicinity of Norway and Sweden. It fs the riksdag and the storthing arriving at a peaceful under- standing. Tom JOHNSON to Mayor Weaver: “Call on me for advice on any- thing you want to know.”” Mayor Weaver to Tom Johnson: ‘' There’s nothing just now I want to know.”” AMBiTIoUS REFORMER says shoestring venders should be sup- pressed because their profits are so exorbitant. That’s right. Amaz- ing how keen these reformers are to hunt down the real evils. eee I" SEEMS to have struck some persons as odd that sacred music issues from certain Saratoga houses on Sunday evenings, mingling with the well-known sea-signals, or rattle of “‘ chips that pass in the night.” SUGGESTION for advertisement in Illinois: “Criminals, attention! Why be hanged? Why suffer punishment? See our rates! Dirt cheap! Reprieve for a month, $500; one year, $5,000; full pardons, $10,000 up! SSI the honorable Jeff Davis, governor of Arkansas: “ The idea of —, the sleek, shrewd scoundrel, and —, the great, big, lubberly, beefy beast, controlling the Arkansas brett) selling it out!” We should say so! ROOSEVELT’S GIFT TO GOVERNOR FOLK. SEEING in the president's gift of a copy of his book, “* The Strenuous Life,”’ to Governor Folk a mere chance courtesy of the vacation season, the newspapers dismissed the incident with a paragraph and a smile. One can hardly expect the editors to see what’s shaking the tall grass. In the hurry of their daily rush the most they see is the mere surface fact that the tall grass is shaking. The book bears the following inscription : “ Dear governor—Many of the problems with which you and | have to deal are in their essentials much the same, after all. Perhaps you may be momentarily interested in two of these essays, ‘Latitude vs. Longitude’ and ‘Promise and Perform- ance.’ Sincerely yours, Theodore Roosevelt.”” Since the celebrated case of “* Bardell vs. Pickwick,”’ it has been known that even the best of men sometimes cloak their deep de- signs with innocent-looking verbiage. That their deceptions carry may be seen in the fact that not an editor has ‘tumbled’ to the significance of that ‘Latitude vs. Longitude’ and ‘Promise and Per- formance.” The president appears to be proudly showing his moral muscle to the Missouri horizon-buster. Well, we shall not expose the artifice— not now. But here are a few facts bearing on the next campaign: Folk has been mentioned. Missouri went for Roosevelt. A certain Nebraska statesman has indorsed both Roosevelt and Folk in writing. And now this book with its Delphic allusion to “Latitude vs. Longitude,” “* Promise and Performance.” Now let the country watch out! MILLION-A-YEAR RUSH FROM ABROAD. THE PAST YEAR has witnessed a record-breaking inrush of immigrants to this land of the free. More than a million came. Italy sent nearly aquarter of them. Austria and Hungary, 275,693. The czar contributed 184,897 of his subjects. Great Britain and Ireland gave us 137,057. It would be interesting to know just what impulse moved this human tide over the sea. Freedom was the inspiration of the original exodus from Europe, and down to recent years this motive was still dominant; but it is to be feared commercialism has tainted the stream of late. The steamship companies have been do- ing some effective advertising, and cheap rates have lent a powerful stimulant to the nomadic spirit. Whether they are overdoing it is cpen to question. If it is to end by towing Europe across the Atlantic and giving to the festering sores of old-world civilization fresh breeding- grounds and ampler scope on this side the ocean, we may discover too late that our hospitality has been a fatal blunder. FoR PEOPLE who treat their newspapers so shabbily at home, it is rather remarkable what a shine those Russians have taken to the ‘American press. \VETERAN tums Christian science and gives up pension. Says he’s no longer an invalid. Will the government take the hint here or go grop- ing on under mountains of expense?* 6 wlee THE WORLD still has its Jim Bludsoes. Look at Mayor Dunne. He'll “hold her nozzle ag’in the bank'till the last galoot ’s ashore,” mean- ing, of course, the municipal ownership craft, whose nose appears to be in the mud, while her passengers are lightly skipping athwart the gang-plank. comicbooks.com