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Judge, 1905-08-05 · page 15 of 16

Judge — August 5, 1905 — page 15: what you’re looking at

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Judge — August 5, 1905 — page 15: Judge, 1905-08-05

What you’re looking at

This page is **primarily advertisements** with two brief humorous text pieces embedded among them. The two jokes are: 1. **"Why Bessie Was Saucy"**: A pun where a child claims her rudeness stems from taking "saucy-parilla" (a play on "sarsaparilla," a medicinal drink). 2. **"When the Schoolboys Write"**: A collection of genuine absurd student exam answers demonstrating childish literalism and misunderstanding—e.g., confusing "temperate zone" with alcohol consumption, or calling English ale "a fine ale made in England" (confusing the Pale of Calais with actual beer). Both jokes mock innocent misinterpretations of language and knowledge. The page is dominated by patent medicine advertisements (blood poison cures, remedy companies) and consumer products (tea, gum, razors), typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine. The Gillette Safety Razor ad claims "400 Shaves Without Stopping"—a selling point emphasizing convenience over traditional straight razors requiring stropping and honing.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sead 10 és for samples of all four preparations. The Andrew Jergens Co., Sole Licensee, Cin. O. GUM IMPERIALS, (10¢ ALUMINUM BOXES.) ASSORTED PURE FLAVORINGS. IFNOT SOLO BY YOUR DRUGGIST, c, MAILED FRLE UPONRECLIZTOF PRICE. 863 Broaoway, Ny.city. 6000 INCOMES FOR ALL. 25 to 30 per cent. commte- stom to get orders for our cele. brated Teas, Coffees, Spices, Ex- tracts and Baking Powder. fal Presents and Coupons with every purchase. Charges patd. For yrompt attention ad B.C. E, co~ «THE GREAT AMERIHN TEA 60.1 P. 0, Box 289, 31-33 Vesey Street, N.Y. You will get more prompt attention and better service by mentioning Jubce when answering advertisements, BLOOD POISON FOR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS we have made the cure of Blood Poison a Specialty, "Blood Polson Permanently Cured. You'can be treated at home under same guar anty. Capital $sco,00, We solktit the most chatinate eases.” It you have exhausted the old methods of treatment and. still have aches ind pains, Mucous Patches in, Mouth, ‘Sore Throat, Pimples, Copper-Colored Spots Ulcers on any part of the body, Hair or Eyebrows Tihing’ose, write lor phools of cures. 00-page ook Free. COOK REMEDY Co. 1480 MASONIC TEMPLE, Chicago, IIL, U. S. Ae WHY BESSIE WAS SAUCY. Mamma— Bessie, dear, what makes you so saucy to-day ?” Bessie—"| don't know, mamma, unless it's that big dose of saucy-parilla you gave me this morning.”—Detroit Journal. KANSAS GIRL WITH A METHOD. A Kansas City girl, according to the Times, of that city, has the usual curi- osity of her sex, especially about men whom she has just met. She ascertains the facts about them, too, by a simple method, without subtleties. If she wishes to know a man’s business, whether he has mentioned it or not, she'll ask, * What did you say your business is?” If it is his place of residence she wants to know, she'll ask, «* Where did you say you live 2” But she found a man one night re- cently upon whom her method would not work. His reply has had her curious ever since, It was at a small dance on the south side. Some of the girls were wondering what the business of a “new” young man was, The girl with the method heard them talking and volun- teered to find out. When the young man drew near she asked, «What did you say your business is, Mr. So-and-So He had not mentioned his business, and he knew it. With a perfectly solemn face he replied, “Tam a gig catcher for a geewobble- pede down in Walnut street, Miss Blank.” WHEN THE SCHOOLEOYS WRITE. The following English schoolboy * howl- rs" are said to be genuine: «The tem- perate zone is the region where no one drinks too much.” «John Wycliff was the editor of ‘The Morning Star,’ but afterward became a reformer.” Henry VIIL. was brave, corpulent and cruel; he was frequently married to a widow, had an ulcer on his leg, and great decision of character.” “Q. Mention the illegal acts of James II. A. (1) The birth of a son.” “The Septuagint was a committee of seven hundred men elected to revise the poems of Homer.” “The provisions of Oxford were wheat, sheep, eggs, etc.” “The English pale is a fine ale made and much drunk in England.” “A cenjune- tion is the place where two railway lines meet.” “Simon de Montfort's father was a Crusader, and from him he inherited re- ligiousness, which was very useful to him aterward, when he became Archbishop of Canterbury."—New York Tribune. Why didn’t somebody think of it before ? Safety | NO STROPPING. No HONING. RAZOL HE oldashioned razor with the forged blade is as undependable as the weather— good one day, cranky the next—needs honing —always needs something to make it work! ‘The mew razor, the GILLETTE SAPETY RAZOR, has 12 dewnedged wafer Nader that are not forged—bat are Aardened, tempered, ground and sharpened by weret and patented Processes. Each blade gives from 20 to 40 shaves—comfortable, thorough, satisfying shoves. Gillette Razor Blades require no honing or stropping; hence, a big saving of time, trouble, and expense, New blades when needed cost so little that after they have become dull may be thrown away. 12 new blades, $1.00, ‘The Gillette Safety Razor costs complete $5 00. Sold everywhere at this price, Is beautl- flly finished, triple silver plate: comes in a compact little velvet-lined case, Shaving this way is an economical lurury, and you get without further expense more than 400 Shaves Without Stropping at less than one cent a shave, Auk your dealer {or the OILLETTE SAPETY RAZOR and accept no substitutes. He can procure it for you. Write for our Interesting booklet to-day, which explains our 30-day free trial offer. Most dealers make this offer; Mf yours does not, we will. GILLETTE SALES COMPANY 163 Times Building, 424 St. and Broadway, New York A DEN is no longer considered the luxury it once was—it is now a necessity in every home where comfort is placed first. Unframed pictures play an important part, if skillfully used. Send two 2-cent stamps for our illustrated Blue Booklet on Inexpensive Dens. It is full of valuable hints. Special Combination Offer for Den Work. We will send prepaid to.any address in the United States, upon receipt of TWO DOLLARS, the follow- ing beautiful copyrighted pictures : Three delicately tinted reproductions of Stanlaws’s beautiful water- color paintings, on fine paper, about 15 x 8; four of Stanlaws's pen-and- ink studies, heavy coated paper, 1434 x 1034, suitable for framing ; four of James Montgomery Flagg’s American Girl Series, sepia tints on heavy plate paper, 1134 x 934; three groups of Flagg’s miniatures, printed on fine card-board—one two-head, one three-head and one four-head group; and four Motto Cards, with small cut in upper left- hand corner, suitable for illuminating or as gift cards, printed on heavy board, 734 x6. If colored by hand, they will make beautiful gifts. Address Picture Department, Judge Company, 225 Fourth Avenue. New York. comicbooks.com