Judge — July 29, 1905 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

_ _—_ aa: —————, 7 —=f <4 Cam a Ax rie Panxen Bortpixc, 9 <——> ee ISSR = PUBLISHED WEEKLY Fourrm AVENUE AxD Nivereextm Staeer, New York. Wasraax Apvexrisinc Orrice—1313 Hariford Building, Chicage, lt TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. Ove copy, one year, ‘One copy, six months, ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks Including the Cumistatas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $630 year. Eunornan sates-acuwrs—/nternational News Company, Bream’s building, Chancery Lane, F.C, London ; Brentane's, Avenue de!" Opera, Paris; Saarbach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany, The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright tn both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and igorousty prosecuted, CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamped and self-addressed erfoelope with all manascripts, othefivise return of the Latter when found unavailatte cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contribotions sent to the Art Department shoald have the sender's fall name and address ‘wrttten platnty on each and every separate shetch. The accompanying foke or descriptive tnsare safe and prompt return of material not. WANTED—ONE BIG, ALL-INCLUSIVE REFORM. wet THE COUNTRY appears to need to-day is one big, all-inclu- sive reform. The multiplicity of little reforms is staggering to the ordinary intellect, and no man can keep track of them. There is no dis- puting that an eager, aggressive spirit of protest is in the air, but it changes with every paper you read and every man you meet. From Lawson to the Pacific, and from the gulf to Tom Johnson, the upheaval is on; but it’s not the same upheaval in any two places. We have food reform in endless variety, and anti-race suicide and anti-divorce; and there are the graft-hunters and the anti- saloon and Potter-improved saloon legions ; then come the “ tainted-money” purifiers and the social equalizers; the reformers of politics, legislatures and the judicial sys- tem; the trust busters, insurance regula- tors, tariff, currency and government re- organizers. Still other propaganda aim at the heart of human society, such as the elimination of the greed for money, posi- tion and power, and then we trail off into a heavenly mist of improving aspirations. Educational reforms are thicker than star- dust, ‘servantgalism’’ is a breeder of strenuous longings, health and disease, cookery, the rearing of children, the church —but the list is endless. Now, in his phlegmatic way, your ordinary business man, who Is hustling to take care of a growing family, naturally hungers and thirsts for reform. He wants it in bunches, and every day. His de- mand for it knows no limits, but he cannot be satisfied while the reform business is so deplorably fragmentary. Hence the crying need is for a Rooseveltian genius who will reason out a scheme by which some single, towering reform, including and co-ordinating all the rest, may be presented to the world. This might be mapped out like a family-tree and hung up on the walls of houses and offices, and then every man could determine in a minute just where his particular reform belonged in the great scheme of betterment. THE CZAR might get Togo and Oyama to try their luck on that little revolution he is having. THE NET RESULT of the Lawson speaking-tour west appears to be the Ri em: ‘Ten million dollars to education was John D. Rockefeller’s blush.” CIVIC FEDERATION has called a convention to consider the restric tion of immigration. Governors, statesmen and many other well- known immigrants and sons of immigrants will attend. ese Ts ALL very well to talk of duty in censuring Mr. Wallace, but when a sixty-five-thousand-dollar job comes to a man he sees his duty in a new light. eee ND KANSAS can’t build that oil-refinery after all. The annex to the penitentiary and a refinery as an annex to the annex to the peniten- tiary didn’t go with the court. Kansas must bleed on. Me ROOT knows all about Wall street, and he goes to be the pres- ident’s right-hand man. J. B. Dill, who got up the trust, goes on the bench in Jersey, the home of the trust. Looks as if the trusts and Wall street might see their Port Arthur drawing near. == _— s—-_-— GE = = ———- <<. Saal THE WOES OF PRESENT-DAY MILLIONAIRES. letterpress should tn every instance be written upon tts indtotdual pictare, and NOT upon a separate slip of paper, Inclosure of stamps to the full amount of postage (s also required. 12 accented. SOME MODERN COLLEGEGIRL AVERAGES. T THE GRADUATION of a large class of girls recently in one of our foremost institutions of learning some statistics were presented which are worth more consideration than has been given them. Among the class statistics is the following: Average size of class waist, 20 inches; average foot, 4A; average height, 5 feet 5 inches; height of pompadour, from 4 to G6inches. We have not the exact figures at hand, but we have the impres- sion that these averages indicate a nearer approximation to the Greek form than has prevailed among womenkind for some cen- turies. A twenty-inch waist is just a shade too small for a 4A foot, and a 4 to 6 inch pompadour seems something out of pro- portion to the height mentioned; but in general it is an average not to be ashamed of.. The Cinderella foot, it seems, is gone. Like the generously-formed, sandal-footed maids of Athens of old, our modern girls are getting back to plantigrade naturalness and simplicity. It was further shown that the majority of these girls, while talking professioris, business and various other emancipated careers, were thinking mostly of the career of matrimony. Most students of college-girl statistics go astray at this point. They are misled by what the girl says she is going to do, and of course it is the exact opposite of what she really intends to do. The average college girl is not a subject for despair, certain phi- losophizing persons to the contrary notwithstanding. A GREAT TRUTH FERVENTLY UTTERED. PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT has a convincing way of nailing a truth so that nobody can ever doubt it afterward. Talking to the teachers at Ocean-Grove, he declared, “‘ A certain amount of money is, of course, a necessary thing for the nation and for the individual.” It was well worth a journey over from Sagamore Hill to impress this great thought on those who have the custody of the young American idea during its formative period. A notable preacher, Dr. E. H. Chapin, once held forth in New York, of whom it was said that he could deliver a commonplace with such moving eloquence that his congregation would be electrified, and that if he had risen in his pulpit at any time and declared, ‘It is a shame that any Christian man should go home from business at eventide and murder his grandmother,” the audience would have breathed forth the whispered ejac- ulation, “‘ What a beautiful sentiment!” eee TAX:DODGING in the Philippines is reported by the authorities; and yet it was declared the Filipinos were not ready for civilization. WANTED—Five good men and true who would be willing to build ‘some street-railways and give them to Chicago. No triflers. Ad- dress Mayor Dunne. «¢PDENSIONS FOR PARENTS” is the suggestion now before the country, Professor Franklin Giddings sponsor. This is the best Proposition put forth in years. It’s practical schemes -like this the people are waiting for. fs ee ree 7 ——e =F SOMEBODY suggests that Senator _. Chauncey M. Depew is slow to see the joke in the loss of that twenty thousand dollars for conducting the hu- morous department of the Equitable Life. comicbooks.com