Judge — May 13, 1905 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE LADY DIDN'T UNDEF * Wot ails de dame ?"* “1 to + Did yer?” “Sure thing! Ain't | beatin’ it as fast as | kin run? MODERN LOVE-LET GOT a letter from an old ERS. nd the other day, and here is the way Lat yest'y heart vlad test bet yen Thing struck in aj jet with w Well, be gore al ets yap Which leads me to remark that the old-fashioned, leisurely, chatty letter is as much a thing of the past ‘Bypt. pd wrote from six to twenty-four pages ; yphics on the tomb stone of Rameses, late of are in too much of a hurry for that sort of thin In the old days people sat down, took pen in h but we ye now. For some time T have had a purely scientific desire to know how the anti-letter-writing burry-up-Lemust-b alt with the love-le wwe germ has « © of . the ned trust this the girl of the period. Here, E have sa urt of taki 1 to myself, if anywher entle m well a s¢ pen in hand to let you know | may find you she of the blue joying the same great blessing has survived, Surely es and fond heart, when she writes, will take time to say something nice and spell the words right, One day chance brought me what L was secking—a love-letter : It beat in the Pleistocene acd in When L opened ter this is what [read : from a real girl to a real fellow, any fossiliferous find mud of Wyoming, ‘This letter w tell me how the love-epistle is farin, ¢ hurly-burly days, ty'rs this acm. you tad wen —adying, Ker than wet hen if yu knew wh was with today but i shant tell well by by, got te go she} you want me te send love Tut i stant why comedown, -—. Alas! my hopes were dashed. Forty years ayo that girl would have spent four hours on that letter, and it would have moved off at the start something like this: +My dear Thomas wowhere 9) were her sitting at the sat the List time sticks we ss tinted woe wl ine the the s. Me distance; and over alll isthe ite that rested like a caress on the Ieeause t Twenuter, ete, ete." you are way att there? That's the way it wor How and the have start. where it would have New atenva ended Lord only knows. ‘Times have chanyed We Jom HK tate her dat if she'd yive me a feed Id take de carpet out in de back yard an’ beat it.”* “What are you taking down th Waal, the y sundown to keep A MYSTERY CLEARED UP. rH for the position of Boston book-keeper applied ccountant To test his knowledge of the science ne was asked by the er to tell him what to a large New York firm, of aceounti senior mem accounting meant, He replied as follows: * Accounting may be defined as the art of preparing from such furnished materials as purport to be records of operations or trans- actions of whatsoever nature after assimilating: them in such a manner as to make them perfectly homogeneous, inserting ascer- tained omissions, and subjecting ny fi discriminating the resul ures to veriticat and elimin, differentiating hetween those that apply to the current as distinguished from the ion and segregation, antecedent and subsequent peti oils—intelligible statements show- ing the result of the operations of a corporation, individual, or in- dividuals, for any given period and. the financial condition at the close of such period, alter making due allowance for depreciation and obsolescence of plant and- machin and tor the depreciation of all other kinds of fixed assets, as well as f any loss that might be sustained by the realization of current assets, the disposition of acquired or realized Gissets, discharge of liabilities, and the ged Th told of an elderly gentleman leap from the window of a tall oflice-building, al skillful manipulation of figures. papers the next mornin, Me ‘The cause of the fatal has heretofore been a complete mystery WILLIE WAS PREPARED. Willie's mother—" Willie, when your papa comes home I shall have to tell him to discipline you Willie“ Suit yourself, ma, I've been takin’ jiu-jitsu lessons.” A MEASURE OF AFFECTION. SECCHARLES,” said the practical maiden, 1 ‘task you how much you love dl ever alien nor rwe're marr tions, for how much would you bring suit? . if any one should te my all ABOUT THE SIZE OF COWS. EH? hammock for ? keeters are e pesky critters out.” y day. an’ we ginerally tack the comicbooks.com