Judge — April 8, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

And, dear Mrs. Jerky, this is Mr. Lavish, Won't you chaper- on us to dinner at Sherry's to- night? Why, here is Mrs. Oldgold and her son! Oh, do have some- thing! Tell me all about the trip to Japan, Did you fall in love occidentally? Pun? Never! I haven't enough wits left. Hello, Billy! Hush, dearest ! the Green girls are ogling us. Dear heart, | can't; I'm dining at Sherry's. Jealous, you? Since when? Oh, all right; if you feel that way I'll go off on a money- hoon with Mr. Richmore. Re- sides, Carry Tales just told me that you loaned your yacht to the Push girls, A“ ferry" tale? Oh, Billy! Make up to Mrs, Jerky and Mr. Lavish, so that you can join us at dinner, while I talk to dear Bishop Steeples. You will have no refresh- ments, bishop? Oh, I'm so glad BEFORE THEIR FIRST QUARREL now [can talk! What a bea Mx. Newweo “Did you say this was angel-cake, darling ?” : : Mrs. Newweo— Yes, dearest. Why, didn't it rise 2” ful sermon you preached last Sun- Mr. Newweo—"* Well. | would suggest that you call it fallen-angel cake.” day !—so many truths against so- : ciety evils, 1 * ast io take up AN AFTERNOON TEA. mission work. Why, bishop, pinching my fingers ! Oh, Billy! I've met General Warfield. So glad to see you, general! Don't sit too near; all the girls will be around you ina crowd, and I sha'n't be able to pour chocolate for the hungry mob coming in. You are so popular Seven o'clock! Oh, and here comes that deadly bore, Count As- I can't stay. [dine at eight. Will you take my lunch to-morrow. to dinner at the Eat- By Mayme Sally—Oh, my dear! here come the Snobs. How do you do? Let me introduce you to Mr. Cling. Do | know Miss Wall? Not if 1 see her first. Oh, yes; I'd love to stand up somewhere, Mr. Bore. I've been pouring for two hours —I'm dead tired, But here come the ‘Tyrades. You know the girls?) Old maids, perhaps, but awfully rich, a, Mrs, ‘Tyrade ? James, tea and bonbons—those pink ones. Oh, yes; I heard that she had left him, Disgraceful, wasn't it? But she was bound to elope with * somebody.” Pardon ; you're on my tra synine! Let me go place, Helen? You are a dear! I'll see you « Good-bye, bishop! You're to take me wells, Au revoir, Mrs. Jerky and everybody! Coming, Billy? Oh, dear, I'm so tired! n. A BARGAIN MISSED. She was a schemer, [ always said “ grass-widows " weren't green Oh, thanks, baron! but L never trust myself with punch— I'm too Mr, Bliss —" Were's a newspaper paying a dollar a word for a frivolous, novel. An enormous price, isn’t it 2” Four lumps for you, Mrs. Sour ? Mrs. Bliss Enormous! Why didn’t they wait until it had been © cents, | wonder 2” Oh all right. My card was for twelve dances, and 1 had twenty-four promised by the time you came. Nuts, Mr. Brown? Do you take spanked cream in your chocolate? Please, some one just Mr, Sawyer! you never asked me to dance last night. [v's reduced to ninety poured punch down my neck, Yes, an awful crush—a regular tea-fight—all fight, no tea. Mrs. Yarn says I'm an angel. Oh, how sweet !—be- use she’s never seen me that I'm not painted. *Cat'! Tell her, Jack, it’s only that she looks like the devil be afraid it isn't hot. It always goes to pre ause she isn't, Cream that I prefer a fast wom respectable old maid like 3 Hush? I'm talking loud on purpose, Mrs. Steel has sharp but Miss Yarn has soft 12 Of course wits and a soft tongue wits and a sharp tongue. she heard. Dinne: with the Vastorbilts, Mr. Lavish; bu No. half promised to stay here dinner- party at Sherry’s would be jolly — A kiss? Oh, Mr. Spooner ! you are the tenth man to ask me to look in his tea and pass him a kiss. Oh, Mrs. Jerky! how do you do? Oh, how exquisitely you look! Prince Reelit- orfsky says you were the beauty at court, and the czar was at your dance. Do come sit near me! You don't mean to say it! Why, your husband will own the earth soon, THE RESULT. “What's he in for?" He got up a new health-food Coffee? Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. West, 1 1SITOR can't offer you any — Brain snapped trying to name It."* comicbooks.com