Judge, 1905-03-11 · page 6 of 16
Judge — March 11, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two pieces of satirical content: **"Ballade of the Timely Bard"** is a humorous poem mocking overwrought spring poetry—a common literary genre. It satirizes predictable seasonal verses about birds returning, rain falling, and Aurora (the goddess of dawn) appearing. The joke targets how spring poetry relies on clichéd imagery and forced rhymes, suggesting such verses are perpetually "not ready yet." **"The Doctor's Dream"** humorously depicts a tired physician's fantasy of being called by a satisfied patient thanking him for a cure, only to wake to an actual emergency call about a child's earache—requiring a difficult house call. The satire mocks the gap between doctors' hopes for easy, appreciative cases and the reality of their demanding work. The bottom section, **"Absolutely Certain,"** is a brief joke about a husband confirming his wife received an expensive ring from him—establishing proof of his devotion to counter any doubts about his fidelity. These are lighthearted social comedies typical of Judge magazine's approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BALLADE OF THE TIMELY BARD. HE signs ye spri Aud alnwat baned is int te an early Now the frigid hin Has ceased to reign (and hail and suow), The days again begin t The groundlieg 's made his yearly threat More warm Aurora Ws tos gh Spring y try ain't ready yet Ere long the birds again will si al exquinex will That every schoullay ought to know. Aud s Awl falling April rain The whistles of Ma pontry ain't re fu rephyrs seem will blow, will wet th but al, M y yer The Died of time wing Ave * tempor re atu slow, Awl ah bring Hints, this was den Aut ely writing Puna ve r at Christmas st Spring poetry ain't eoady yet THE DOCTOR'S DREAM. “THE physteian, who had putin a phy r he and sank ante slumber long, hard day, had just se his eq when the jangling of the telephones hell aroused bum, With a groan he Went to answer * Hello! he sail “Hello! Is this Dr. Curem 2?” “Say, tor, this is; Milligan, Remember me ? Yes. Limaile six calls at your house Last week Well [just rang up te tell you that Thad sent you a eheque With a glad, sweet) smile the doctor returned to his couch and then he really wakened because the bell wars still rin and somebody really wanted hi 4 four mile drive lieve little Johnny's earache A COMPLETE RECORD. SOYVHAT is that little book your wife writes in every even ing 2” asks the visitor + That?" asks her husband. “Oh, that is her new diary.” es But she seems to put dewe nothing except names of articles and figures to tallow them,” “OF course, I's really her ex pense-book, but all she does is to go shopping.” Are you sure he has ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN ver loved before ? und to the jeweler’s and pick out any ring | wanted.” comicbooks.com