Judge — March 11, 1905 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT Tux Pannne BUrLvINc. Foe AVENUK AND NINKTKKNTH StTIKKT. New Yous, Westen Avs risa Onece 0303 Hartford bi idine, Chnage, Ul TRIMS 10) SURSCRIERS : UNITED STATES ANO CAaNAo IM ADVANCE FORRIGN SUPSCRIFEIONS—To sll torergts cust ties an the go In. $0.50 4 year Bonurean satuscataners—laternational News Company, Rream's building, Chancery Lane FC 1 Liremtano s Avenue ae Otera, Paris: Saaroach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany The contents of SUDGE are crotected by copverabt in bath the United States and Great Hritain. infrinsement uf tus copvrrot will be Dromotiy ans Pigorousiy Drosecutes. ‘ of the Latter ewnen found unavaitatle cannot be guaranteed. DPAWINGS and ait descriptive lette Sunuld in every instance be 4 l4iniv on each and every separate saetch. The accor inciosure of Stamos to the full amount of postage 1s also reauired. to insure sale and promot return of material not accentes HE BLASTS of hot air in the average trust lobbyist are even as the an may be a very good thing for him; for if he should finally col- bones in a shad. Lapse be might still go into history as a golf-player 2 oa dowed the western curbstone university, which a certain witty Bostonian salified to designated and set forth as Harper's bazar. Kansas is all right. TIS now said to be the Je who are welll judge that Russi is gi ing out. HE TOBACCO HOG is still trying to spread himself over everything in his line of commercial effort. ‘Th HE BALLS in the hands of an eastern juggler, no matter how expert he — like so much melted lard and. hardening on everything called tobacco. He pind the critical expert of upstostate morals in ws,and a hog unto himself, If his tail could be con the hands of the trust lobbyist. verted into a whistle the bazoo of the same could eee nwa the adagio of his vulgar grunt, which KANSAS has st that embroiders with pictures of joy his ] the strike has by dreams of rapacity and lust. The tobacco hog is as. force that the Standard oil com: broad as he is long in more seases than one; and it pany has been compelled to fold the drapery of its wells about it and to lie down to pleasant dreams of the vengeance in which it deals. Truth may at the bottom of a Standard-oil well, although we are not sure that such at fact is a matter of record; it should, therefore, be re= ® as it may, the Rockefeller sys- inion of many pec ing in for the simple res eee agh a hog intact, he is spreading may be, are said to re mong | never d K oil, and nof such begins to luok as if he will finally develop into a j eat ball of wabblin great han . porkhood which, though a icp, will not prevent the aforesaid hog j from performing the magic trick of accumulation the trick which he knc While the tob small dealer waxes thinner and thinner, and finally fates away like mist before the wind, But the Pressure continues to be put on with great persist- : ence, and the cracking of the small dealer's ind collarebuttons iy like that of hail on a tin roof, while it would seem to the casual observer that he ie sso well how to perform, cco hog puts on the pressure the ded as a mere fancy. Be that tem has been handled without gloves in the sunflower stat ty being converted by inches into a cheap and sub- stantial fertilizer. For avarice and xreed, as well as for everything else that is mean, ignoble that the said system has struck a snag and the Lind of cyclones has struck oil in more than the one obvious sense. The Gilead of Mr. Rockefeller’s dreains of to-day is not filigreed and ara besqued with the daintiest. and most picturesque embroideries of balm; and it must fill his refined nd cultured soul with discord and dismay to think that he has, even in a remote way, reached point which, to the sapient critic of up-to-date commercial meth- ods, suxugests the bitterest of all bitter ends—the end of the tether. Mr. Rockefe sistent hurler of the Lasso, as any man may learn if he will but read the work of Ida Tarbell, who Boswelled the oil-king in so fine a fashion that she is to-day regarded universally as amis. sionary. [fone would know the points that differentiate an Amer- ican and an Americander one has and indecet + the tobacco hoy is elephantine both as rex mation and thickness and tough ness of skin. There would be no profit in footballs made of the hide of the tobacco hog, unless the manufacturer could dispose of them for a. pri ch that would be asked for diamonds of the same size, if such exist, for like the tobacco e of them would the reason that hog. itself, no ever be worn out or even affected by the kicks of the mob. The tobacco hog spreads his peculiar ler has been a per- variety of trichinosis among. the small dealers ecstasy as he observes the result of his depredations, Just long he will be tolerated in his Present: attitude defiance to: ward business and square bi hess methods it is difficult to say. Like many other putrid proposi- and yloats. with but to read her history of Lin- coln and of Rockefeller. And when one has made on tions, he seems doomed to defy all forces that would squelch him, But the teeth of time are sharp, and some time or other the tos bacco hog may suddenly lose his s self fare miliar with the mephitic system. of the Napoleonic juxgler of morals and methods, ne will wonder and marvel as to how hold and become a mere moth- eaten memory. Greater and the Kansas tacticians came by more dangerous menaces to so- the knowledge which enabled y than he have come to grief, them to oust the Standard-oil MARRY IN HASTE snd perlians the davis nor far octopus. This beginning of the Heten "How is Jack Newlywed getting along with that rich girl he distant when he will hang by a end of Rockefeller—for it begins eloped with ? tinder member, with a corn-cab> cas W eve qi { rit bepsin Emet * Dreadfully! She is suing him for now-support, and won't even hinder'members with a corncid 7 s feven he must have let him have money enough to pay his lawyer's fees.” in bis mouth. comicbooks.com