Judge, 1905-03-11 · page 10 of 16
Judge — March 11, 1905 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains several satirical short stories illustrated with cartoons, typical of the publication's humor format. **"An Old Salt's Observations"**: A folksy sailor shares anecdotes about complaining, death, and human nature. The humor relies on period vernacular and ironic moral lessons—e.g., a broker survives shipwreck by squeezing stocks for water, then complains about lacking freshwater bathing without women present. This mocks both financial obsession and social hypocrisy. **"Might Have Expected It"**: A corrupt police officer extorts money from a gambling-house proprietor, calling him dishonest while engaging in bribery himself. The irony is straightforward: the officer's hypocrisy is unsurprising. **"They Die All Right"**: A final gag about a politician dying in a poorhouse, with the punchline implying this is exceptional—satirizing the assumption that politicians enrich themselves and never face poverty. The cartoons use exaggerated features typical of early 20th-century illustration. Overall, the page satirizes greed, corruption, hypocrisy, and self-interest among various social classes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN OLD SALT'S OBSERVATIONS. oe HAT does Ci " arrer for inquired the little girl. bow * He uses ‘em in in’ friendship,” replied the man who knew, “Yes,” said the allus complainin’ about how his hand shook It even made it hard for him to git his pis- One-eyed Salo, * was the complaint that he ied of." Does my skirt inquired the lady murderer of the sheriff as. she out towards, the gallows. remarked the sherntf; shut it will in jest a min fe, 13 you take it off.” sIt's real fool- * Not quit ish," remarked Grand- ma My bands), to talk about lo si kins (an’ she'd ought to know, havin’ buried four good bus ¢acknockin’ at the door, Land’s sakes! he's jest a burglar, an’ he cracks it open with a jimmy rushed 1 to the office of the notary ly trom the parson an affidavit, © What you in sech a hurry for? ary. couples,” said the bridegroom, * an’ we're goin’ to apply for it. day or two? A western man has offered a big prize for don’t you wait be too late th the notary inquired, "It would prob'ly the bridegroom, Once upon a time there was a broker saved a score of lives. Ship- Wrecked an’ in an open boat, they'd drifted for three days without a dank. ‘Two was almost dead, one was ravin’ mad, an’ the others were on the ragged edge of lunacy. Water, water, water!" was the con- al unless, ALMOST freshed an‘ with minds he has half a meal-ticket left.” tine healthful state, stant moan of all the sufferers, his own. chops was quite too dry to lick, They sot there hopeless an’ quite helpless. Then a thought occurred to him, Before the ship had sunk he had rushed down to his cabin an’ grabbed 3 large tin box contain in’ securities which he had planned to sell in Europe. Openin® it now with tremblin’ fingers, he took the papers out; then, placin’ a tin b ns bucket tight between his knees, he shouts with joy. “Water? Why, certainly says. An’ he squeez- es them there stocks. The bucket soon was full, an’, bodily re an? restored to their pris- the unfortunates picked up the oars an’ rowed a hundred miles to shore, As he stepped out of the boat at list he was heard to mutter, If there hadn't heen no women with us, or if we had had a sereen to raise so’s ‘t they would tobeen embarrassed, we could just as well have had a nice frestewater bath.” ROWAKD MAWSHALY MIGHT HAVE EXPECTED IT. Se YOU are a bad ex." sad the dishonest officer to the proprietor of the gambling-h Am 12" the gambler bad «1 you will have to shell out.” was an exposé, and the dishonest officer found himself THEY DIE ALL RIGHT. “Did you ever hear of a politician dying in the poor-house ?"* and he was the superiutendent of the poor-hou * Only once comicbooks.com