Judge, 1905-02-04 · page 7 of 16
Judge — February 4, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous anecdotes in the "Old Salt's Observations" column, plus a brief joke at bottom. **Top cartoon** ("Thinking It Over"): An old sailor recounts failed get-rich-quick schemes—a con artist's promise to extract gold from seawater, and a revenge device (a hot umbrella handle). The satire targets naive investors and con men exploiting gullible people. **Middle illustration** ("She Ought to Know"): A brief joke about a girl questioning whether a suitor truly loves her before marriage, playing on romantic uncertainty and courtship conventions. **Bottom cartoon** ("Helping Her Out"): A wife presents her husband with a household account book showing a $19.05 discrepancy she cannot reconcile. The husband vaguely attributes it to unremembered expenses or gifts, offering non-answer deflection—satirizing both poor record-keeping and husbands avoiding financial scrutiny. The page satirizes common anxieties: financial fraud, romantic deception, and domestic money management—typical concerns for Judge's early-20th-century middle-class readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SERVATIONS. Ii FELL 1 HA one day an‘ told me eo AN OLD SALT'S OB- Ik | i, il my We RAH R come along HT that he'd found a way of makin’ gold from sea water, an’ wante invest my me to hard-earned But Tin ted an’ found that in it, vestig e was a flaw in his great plan, He'd git the inoney, which only would appear after the water An’ it occurred to me that it would be so wet as to be quite useless to me. I knew a man who was unjustly convicted of a theft an’ sent to jail While locked in there he devised an umbrella-han- dle that would git red-hot when any one but the took hold of it Alter his release he spent own. THINKING his time around the Monanan * ‘Tis night Oi ixpicted me woife wo Mutueann—" An’ she didn’t Mowanan : she hit me court-house layin’ that a Biteme wid trick umbrella down in He chuck- led when the district-attorney scorehed kis hand. open places. He grinned broadly as the members of the jury, one by one, fell victims, But when the Janced furtively about rabbed so fiercely that he re‘lly had to holler from the painful burns he jest had to bust out Liughin’, sech Reve was his measly satisfvetion, ives sech a pleasant feelin’! A kind n, passing by, took note of the poor fowl, an’ with Once upon atime there was a duck who broke his leg hearted physici SHE OUGHT McCarry ne Mureny 4 Bearric Mae per fer a girl ter let a mai How kin she tell whetier always th’ unixpicted thot happens. id th’ Mat-iron at IT OVER. a poker.” pianny-shtool.”” what all th that $19.05 penses.” . Mr. Wander looke the book witi + My this is.” something, a condesce KNOW kiss her befor he ll make a Whin Oi wint home full lasht merciful heay ful hand reli its mis- ery, bindin’ up the in- jured member. The duck looked up at him with grateful eyes an’ swellin’ heart; but, an’ skill- in the cir- cumstances, delicacy for- bade speech, There was only one thing that he could say, an’ such an exclamation would have been an insult to the man who had befriended him, The poor bird choked to death in his efforts to crowd back the voice of nature rather than ap- pear discourteous an’ un- grateful to the had re in who eved him of his HELPING HER OUT. AT THE end of Janu- ary Mrs, Wunder brou; her nice new expense-book to her hus- band. “LT ocan figure up nuary balance all she said, “but n cither $19.05 behind or ahead, 1 remember other items are for, but [ can't recall whether [ spent or you gave it to me for house pl ex. ye for a moment, then handed back ried? Vt know how he kisses? comicbooks.com