Judge, 1905-01-21 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 21, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge page contains two separate satirical pieces from the late 19th/early 20th century. **Top section** presents folksy observations from an old sailor character. His anecdotes mock sentimental Victorian sentimentality—he jokes about a cat in tar-barrel ruining its moral character, then philosophizes about how joy and sorrow are recorded differently (joy in pencil, sorrow carved in stone). The humor lies in applying grand moral lessons to trivial domestic situations and the absurdity of a sailor dispensing pseudo-profound wisdom. **Bottom section ("A Lady-Find")** satirizes remarriage and social hypocrisy. A woman asks a bishop if he'd marry her a second time, implying scandal or unsuitability. His shocked refusal to commit "on such short notice" mocks how clergy bend principles based on circumstances—he'd likely marry her eventually despite moral disapproval, contradicting his religious authority. Both pieces target Victorian pretension and the gap between public morality and private behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN OLD SALT'S OB- SERVATIONS. JF YOU ain't gs in the world to say an’ have jest gef to say it, say it quick an’ have it over with. My wif to care for wlone le she went to the On her return s\ Vit any one had been tb has been jest ¢ replied with perteet truth “Who's been here with you 2” she inquired, + Jest Baby.” Erez Fhad a cat tall in the tar-barrel once, an’ alterwards, w of the lower animals, “ic would but he hon known moral curvature have Tess tun. [t's acter of them ducks. There “ tend such they'll clamat wo try te thet with th close if you want to choose right for ‘em in’ selectin careers, For instance, ot all take. protit na rush-blind an’ refleet upon the char eney to for the under dos as that when the he early inclinations of out o hint, W's a str y that he will he a doctor of divinity ; oF, fail in’ that, a botel-clerk The records af our joys are written with a pencil on aslite; the records of our sorrows are cut with a chis, elon a monument, Time wets a cloth all wet with tears across the records of the joys an’ it is gone Ev'rybodly stands aroy Is every unerass on that’s engraved An’, also, you hear ws they street with nose jest after night- tL ominute he Why didn't Dang a red lyght ont the trench, he thunders at the man who owns the place. 1 don't believe in advertisin’," says the man, an’ chuckles sofily to himself iw anny snansteant CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES. Kascinating divorcee Monestly, now, bishop, if 1 were to come to you and ask you toamarry me you woulda Kishop Hi hurch (eoisactassed) + seme, would you?" Well, Mrs. 1 This is so sudden, you know can hardly say on such short notice. 1" comicbooks.com