Judge — December 31, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ax Tue Pamgre Bortpixc PUBLISHED WEEKLY FOURTH AVENUE AND NINETEENTH StuxeT, New Yous. 1343 Hartford Building, Chicago, lit. UNITED STATES AND c. Ove copy, one year. or One copy, six months, or 26 numbers = One copy, for thirteen weeks = FOREIC Including the Cuntstsas Juoce. UBSCRIPTIONS—To alll foreign countries in the postal union, $5.50 a year. Evnornan satns-acexts—/nternational Newt Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, E,C., Loudon: Brentano's, Avenue del" Opera, Paris : Saaroach's News Exchange, Mainz, Germany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by conyright in both the United States and Great Bri CONTRIBUTORS must Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. ise a stamped and self-adinessed entvelone with all manascriots, otherwise return of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DPAWINGS and alt contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's fall name and adiress written ol on each and every senarate sketch. The accompanying joke or descrivtive letter-press should in every instance be written upon its indtvidual picture, and NOT upon a seoarate siio of paver. inciosure of stamos to the full amount of postage is also required, 10 insure safe and promot return of material not accented. 1 4 is down and out, 1904 is put to rout. 1904 Is no more— 1904 is up the spout. 1904 is quite upwound, 190 is rapture-crowned, Like a gay, Blue-eyed fay, Blushing, gushing, hatward bound. 1994 is now a wreck, 1995 is now on deck. May it bring On the wing Golden blessings by the peck. May the goods for which we strive During this new year arrive Till we may Shout “ Hooray ! Hip-hooray for 1905 !”” THE JOKE about the New-year’s resolution is now so threadbare, dreary and unsatisfactory that the’ever-active business humorist appreciates the situation, and is therefore making and dealing in what he is pleased to call the joke about the joke about the New-year’s resolu- tion, is NEITHER an insur- ance company nor a patent medicine should be judged by the highly-artistic cal- endars it puts forth. HE man who's level- headed At customs old will scoff, And in his glee Most quickly he Will swear off swear- ing off. eee LET US devoutly wish that 1905 may be so bright and full of gilt-edged blessings that it will make each and every one of us feel a year younger. coe Oo}. hear us sing, The while we cut The pigeon-wing And whirl and strut And shake a few Jig-steps, aglow, ** May no man’s New- Year’s cake be dough !”” CLARENDON CENTERUSH- Betticose Suattweep— stuffing out of you.” SAVEDL Beruicose SuaLtweeo—'' Take care whom you jostle, sir! Your size just saves you!” ‘What do you mean?” I mean that if you were a man more of my own size I'd knock the TIME is stage-money to the man who is out on the highway in quest of a job. we HE NEW-YEAR’S BELL begins to swell and in its mystic music tell the things we hear when loud and clear Tom’s tin horn simply splits our ear. THE great skull of the baseball fiend has this thing for a tenant While calculating closely on the figures that survive: In 1904 the giants won most cleverly the pennant; But will they win that flag again in 1905? HE SMALL DOG fancies that he lopes violently over and through the snow-drift, which is large and deep and billowy. But the more he at- tempts to gambol athwart its sparkling, wind-carven shape the more he sinks-into it head-first, and rises to the surface only to blow the snow out of his eyes and ears and mouth. He makes many quaint intaglios of him- self in the fleecy substance, but little headway except downward. He kicks much of the snow-drift wildly behind him, but the wind blows fresh snow into it, so that it is kept intact, while the bow-wow probably fancies that he is running on a churn-dasher that does not revolve. The more he struggles the more he does not arrive at the hot stove which he observes in his mind’s eye. And in his whirling hopelessly in the big snow-drift he reminds us of the seven-cent Democratic statesman who whirls even more hopelessly in the snow-drift of the tariff which he would reform, while the hot stove of success comes no nearer in his aching vision. OW THAT Janu- ary first is about here, it remains to be seen whether or not the promised resignation of old Dr. Hill is but a light and airy bluff. If the old doctor should astonish the country by carrying out his threat what will be- come of his mantle? There is not a pair of shoulders lying around loose in his party which are quite worthy of so unusual an honor, and it is not going too far to say that the same ar- ticle of toggery would hardly add grace and dignity to the hinder members of the historic Democratic donkey. If the Democracy pos- sesses such a piece of Property as a willow- tree, it might be just the thing upon which to hang the old doctor’s mantle, which, though pretty well frayed and moth-eaten, would dis- course unto the four winds the finest kind of Democraticharmony in wolian form. comicbooks.com