Judge — December 17, 1904 — page 44: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CHRISTMAS DREAM. IT WAS Christmas eve, and I bemoaned the scarcity of « dough,” a vast la- cuna needed filling—how, I didn’t know ;| and all my thoughts were one long streak of dark and dismal woe. I did not want to whimper under fate’s sledge-hammer knocks, so, after metaphorically hanging up my socks, I'went to bed and dreamed of pleasant things and lots of * rocks.” Old Santa Claus came to me in his suit of paduasoy ; his whisker wagged with mer- riment, his eyes told tales of joy, and, “Name your gifts at once,” says this delectable old boy. “T want," I said unblush- ingly, with everything in sight, “a quart of cocktails first, with which to start this business right, and then the other items will come naturally, quite. Two dozen on the half-shell would tone up this mortal frame ; then if you pass the soup with that impossible French name my spirit will grow luminous and sparkle into flame. Two drumsticks of a ‘turk’ will give one vis- ions of the stars, with ‘fixings’ too, to place inside my epigas- tric bars, and I know your liberal feeling as to coffee and cigars. Now, anent material comfort: let us say five thou- sand shares of Amalgamated’ Copper—‘twould decrease my earthly cares, so that hard luck in the future might not take me unawares; a Newport house, a motor-car, a steam- yacht—I think that's sufficient to instal me in the line of pluto- crats"—but Santa Claus drew nearer and politely whispered, “ Rats!" no PARAPHRASE. Give str to perish, heavy heart Let him drink and forget his poverty and remember his misery no more.—Pro- verb xxi, 6 and 7. drink unto him that isready ‘wine unto those that be of IVE him white meat and let him eat Until his waistcoat fails to meet. Pour giblet sauce upon his plate, And thus his hunger satiate. Ladle the dressing rich and rare Until the man forgets his care. Make him remember on this day, ‘That everything has come his way. Then let him eat until his girth Is like a girdle ‘round the earth. Till he forgets his gnawing debts, Mis sorrows and his fumes and frets, And with plum-pudding steaming o'er, Straddles the steed of grief no more. FRANK M, BROOKS. HE REAL CHARTREUSE. The London Mail states that the French government threatens to appear in a new r6éle—that of conniving at the manufacture of a spurious Chartreuse. When the Associations Bill forced the monks of La Grande Chartreuse to seek refuge in Spain, the label and trade-mark of the Chartreuse liqueur were appropri- ated by the government, which has now granted the right of using them to a lead- ing firm of French distillers, Messrs. Cusenir. A sample of the so-called Char- LEAVES NEW YORK EVERY DAY A CHRISTMAS HOMILY. MERRY Christmastime is nearing, when the frost-king’s jeweled earring glistens on the cheek of nature, in the| ‘ | silent vales and woods; and old Santa! Oh, the happiness of Christmas! from Niagara to the isthmus runs a golden scintillation, lighting up this glorious land. Sorrow leaves no penciled traces on the old familiar faces, as they brighten up the ed by many a hand-out from the troubles that perplex; and the poet, too, hath reason to extol the festive season when his excheq uer’s expansion doth expose an extra x. Place the “turk” upon the table, le, Claus is preening his white whiskers ere| places that we know and understand.|us feast while we are able, to oblivion careening on the joyous occupation of de- | livering the goods. Now the children’s| There's Miss Gladys looking pleasant, as she scans each shining present, while the | with our real and imaginary ills !—tho' the blithe apothe-kery on the morrow voices mingle with the sleigh-bells’ silv'ry | mistletoe above her is suggesting joys to| maketh merry, as he reaps a golden har. jingle, joy’s be-diamonded surcingle is | around them, bless their souls ! May their be ; and Bedelia in the basement, stand- ing at her buried casement, with a coun-| vest from his dark-blue liver-pills. But this gay Yule-tide effusion now must come future years grow brighter, such, at east, | tenance upon her that would set old Ire-|to a conclusion—here is joy to every the present writer hopes—tho' he’s but an|land free. There's the hobo bright and| mortal, be he millionaire or drudge! inditer of spasmodic barcarolles. AN OBJECT LESSON ™CENTURY LIMITED OVER THE NEW YORK NTRAL AND~ LakeSHORE 2:45 PM. 980M CHICAGO “= ILES IN 20 HOURS THE FASTEST LONG DISTANCE TRAIN IN THE WORLD. LEAVES CHICAGO EVERY DAY 12:30 NOON Gronce H. Daxieis, Publish ARRIVES NEW YORK EVERY DAY B30AM. Tur Four-Track News is an ilastrated monthly magazine of travel and education, 130 to 160 pages, every one of which is of human interest. Fifty cents a year ; foreign countries one dollar. Single copi Commencing January 1st, 1905, the price will be $1.00 a year ; foreign countries $1.5. Subscriptions prior to that date will be received (lor 1905 only) at present rate of so cents a year, foreign countries Send a two-cent stamp for a fifty-two page Illustrated Catalogue of the “ Four-Track Series.” treuse not made by the monks has already reached this country. It is of the fa- miliar green and yellow tinge, and con- sists of an extract to which brandy is added. A special cable to the Baltimore Sunday Herald on November tgth states that Parisian connoisseurs declare the spurious product a poor concoction and absolutely refuse to drink it. The steps taken by the monks to protect them- selves have been radical, Though they might have used the old label in Spain, they have entirely abandoned it. The new label bears the following’ inscrip- tion: “Liqueur Fabriquee a Tarra- gone par les Peres Chartreux.” Lovers of the famous liqueur must, when the old stock is exhausted, look out for the word “ Tarragone” on the label of the bottle as proving the contents to have been made at Tarragona, Spain, the Fa- thers’ new domicile. The monks aver that their secret has been faithfully pre- served, and that it is impossible to pro- duce the genuine article without their three-hundred-year-old recipe. CHICAGO EVERY DAY cents. Sold by news-dealers. . Room 24 A, 7 Fast 42d St., New Vork. | airy, whose well-planneditinerary is reliev- | May we one year hence—aye, twenty— meet in happiness and plenty, in the cheery Christmas gla. mour, is the fervent wish of Jupce. KNEW HIS PARENT. ss WILLIE, if your father WwW had five dollars and gave your mother four of them, what would he then have 2” “A fit!” THE OLD WOMAN OF DREAMS, OMETIMES, little tad, when the white mists rise Like a veil over hollow and hill, And down through the pines the night-wind sighs ‘To the lonesome whip-poor-will, Then something comes along with atap! tap! tap! On the pane where the moon- light streams, Tap! Tap! Tap! Just a tiny rap! It's the old woman of dreams. She comes from the depths of the meadow land, Where the sly old black mink prowls ; And she rides in her cart of silver sand— Her steeds are six white owls. She sprinkles the sand in your trundle-bed From the topmost attic beams. Tick! Tick! Tick! Close your eyes quick! It's the old woman of dreams. Dear grandma's told so oft to us That this old woman's about, When tads toss sheets up in a muss And talk when the light is out, And she says she'll take you away in the cart With one of her six-owl teams. Sleep! Sleep! Sleep! Don't dare to peep! Here's the old woman of dreams! VICTOR A. HERMANN. English lady (to Irish girl)—« How is it that you never speak of belonging to the Irish race, my dear 2” Irish girl— Because it is sinful to boast, madam."—Boston Commercial Bul- letin. She (enthusiastically)—“ Oh, I. would have given anything in the world for that vase !" He—" Well, why didn't you buy it?” She—"Buy it! Why, the man wante¢ fifty cents for it Chicago News. comicbooks.com