Judge — December 17, 1904 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CALABRIAN AD- VENTURE. 6¢LJALT!" The command rang out in a rich baritone voice which might have attracted the attention of an impresario. The bar- rel of the carbine did not gleam as brightly as is usual in incidents of this kind that find their way into litera- ture, our hero, the bandit, being of the opinion that polishing carbine barrels is too much like work. But the tourist did not pause to criticise. He halted. “My money or my life?” he inquired. «Ifthe illustrious signor will be kind enough to make the choice!" replied the bandit, smiling pleasantly, “Here, then, is my money ; all except a few lire which I still have in my vest-pocket. That, also, if you insist upon it.” " Keep it, signor,” said the bandit magnanimously. “Per Bacco! I am not a hotel-keeper !" “L appreciate the differ- ence,” said the traveler, bow- ing. “ And yet, if I may ask the question, how is it that you are not a hotel-keeper ? It would seem, from my experience in the country, that there is more money made by the brigands in that line than by the gentlemen of your branch of the profession.” “True, signor ; but we love the free, open life of the mountains. Not so many travelers, it is true, fall into our hands as into those of the hotel-keepers, and most of them have been fleeced so thoroughly that there is little left for us. Now and then, indeed, we find some one whom it is profitable to hold for ransom.” “Ah! That reminds me—if you will pardon the interruption. I have often wondered why the hotel-keepers never hold any one for ransom.” “Why, signor, that is ao mystery. Their accommodations are limited, and there is a constant influx of tourists who could not be entertained if room were not made for them. There is an old Calabrian proverb to the effect that a hotel bill in the hand is worth two ransoms in the bush; and another, that he robs twice who robs quickly. Mine host, therefore, takes what he can get and speeds the parting, in order to plunder the coming, guest.” “Tsee. And now may I take my departure 2” “Si, signor. Permit me to accompany you to the turn of the road. Have acigar? It is a beautiful night! May I hope that you are duly impressed with the splendor of our Italian skies 2” “Signor Brigand, on the subject of your Italian skies I am as enthusiastic as a guide-book. The town, I think, lies yonder ?" “ Quite correct, sigrwr. May I ask one favor ere we part? Would it be too much trouble for you to report this robbery to the police, giving them an exact statement THE BABY'S STOCKING. Jumpin Jack—" Well, for once I've found a stocking that fits me.” “4, SANTY’S METHOD. FIRST 1 haul the playthings tothe chimney-top ; Bright and shining gay things—then with them I pop Down into the bedroom with no slips or bangs ; Yellow, blue or red room, where the stocking hangs. And for Mary Jane dear I pour out the things ; Then I hit the reindeer and I'm off on wings. of your lass? Also, the name of the brigand who robbed you? My card,signor. I ask this, signor, in order that, later on, when I come to divide with the police, they will not expect more than their due share. They are so sus- picious of us brigands, the police! So apt to think we are not dealing honestly with them.” “I shall be charmed to notify the police.” “1 knew you would be, signor. Believe me, lam deeply grateful, I am delighted to have met you. Farewell, signor! I would venture to express the hope that we may meet again, but I appreciate that there are reasons why you should not be expected to reciprocate such a desire, Farewell, signor! Farewell !" Retracing his steps, the brigand was soon lost in the shadows of the night. wILIAse HMC KEDWA. BY ADVICE OF THEIR FAMILY PHYSICIAN. Wormsy—" De mikrobe eperdemic is de main reason dat we shun sleepin’-cars. We spell each udder, and are sure ter git dere in safety every time.” COPrRIGMT 1904 BY JUDGE COMPANY PUBLISHERS, 226 FOURTH AVE. NEW YORK Sacher B Wiineies Line LPIg Ce New Yor comicbooks.com