Judge, 1904-12-17 · page 16 of 48
Judge — December 17, 1904 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This appears to be a Judge magazine Christmas-themed page combining humor with period attitudes. Key content: **"Crismas Befo' De Wah"** uses dialect verse (rendered in exaggerated phonetic spelling) depicting nostalgic antebellum plantation Christmas—from a white perspective romanticizing slavery's supposed contentment. This reflects post-Civil War nostalgia common in northern publications. **"Of All Sad Thoughts"** jokes about a man still paying installments on a diamond ring to a woman who married someone else—commentary on consumer debt and romantic regret. **"On Christmas Day"** plays on a child mistaking her father for Santa Claus. **"A Narrow Escape"** quips that Jones's wife forcing him to quit smoking is better than her buying him cheap cigars instead. **"Hurrah for the Billy"** celebrates a billy-goat's chaotic antics and appetite. **"Steam-Heated"** jokes about modern apartment living—Santa can't fit presents through radiators. The satire targets consumer culture, marriage, technology, and nostalgia alongside period racial attitudes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CRISMUS BEFO' DE WAH, WANT dat ole-time Crismus day When marster, wid his dog, ‘Went out ter chase de fox an’ den Cum home an’ hab his ‘nog, An’ when de pickaninnies shet Deir eyes an’ went ter bed, Beliebin’ dat old Sandy Claus Did sho'ly hab dat sled ; An’ when de young bucks an’ de gals Lookt in each udder's eyes, An’ on de punchen hold it down Twell sun-up hit de skies, When white folks hed deir Crismus spread, In Sunday close all drest, An’ arter called de darkies in Ter finish up de rest. FRANK Mt KOOKS. OF ALL SAD THOUGHTS, ssRVEN at Christmas, when all the world is gay and glad,” s id the gray-bearded philosopher, “there are wont to come to a man sad and solemn thoughts.” "Yes," agreed the young man who had no watch on the end of his chain; “and the saddest and solemnest are those that come to a fellow when he reads of the marriage of the girl to whom last Christmas he gave a diamond ring on which he is still paying installments.” ON CHRISTMAS DAY. Haroto—"'l wonder is Santa Claus good-looking ?” Tor—"'Oh, my, yes! I saw him filling my stocking last night, and he looks Just like papa."” A NARROW ESCAPE. Tou—"' Too bad that poor Jones's wife should have made him give up smoking, isn't it?"* Oh, well, it might be much worse. For instance, she could insist upon his smoking the cigars she would otherwise have bought him for HURRAH FOR THE BILLY! HURRAI for the billy that o'er the ash-heap Moves on like a comet, with swirl and with sweep, And eats the high hat And the iron that's flat, And the boot, while his bosom cavorts pit-a-pat! Hurrah for the billy that butts on the bound And lifts the buttee like a shot off the ground, While gayly he dreams Of the poster that beams And tones his digestion with wild color-schemes! Hurrah for the billy of feeling intense, That rattles his slats on the old picket-fence, And swallows the brick On the fly with a kick, That pictures the joy of his blithe double-quick ! STEAM-HEATED. +4 PAPA, you'd better speak to the janitor." “What about, my dear?” “About letting Santa Claus bring his bundles up the elevator, as he can't bring them through the radiators,” comicbooks.com