Judge — December 10, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Chancery Lane, Hosur an Satns-acunts—International News Company, Bream’s éwildin, unireo srare One copy, one year. of $2 number sea a Une copy, sie montis, or so numoers =e fi Cine copy, for thirteen weeks x FORFIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $5.00 4 year. C. London : Brentano's, crenue del? Otera, Paris: Saaréack's ) ange, Aa The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS : AND CANADA IN ADVANCE Tnclading the Cuxestatas Juoce. “ 2. Germanys Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and digorousiy rrosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inciose a stamped and self-adiressed ertoeiove with all manuscriots, otherwise retarn of the Latter when foand unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and address Ywritten vlainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying joke or descrintive letler-press shoald in every instance be awritlen upon tts indvoidaal picture, and NOT uon a senarate slip of pacer. Inciosure of stamos to the full amount of postage is also required, (0 insure safe and promot return of material not accented. [T HAS BEEN asserted that when Bryan is not talking he keeps his jaws limbered up by chewing gum. If he would but talk less and chew gum more frequently his reputation for eloquence and wisdom would doubtless increase at a rate that would please his friends and tickle his own vanity. THE proof of the pudding political Is frequently, don’t you know, Discovered, and quick, in the eating of Its lining of leathern crow. THE TRUTH of the adage that it is a long lane which has no turn has never been more forcibly proved than in the late political upheaval which caused Missouri to come into line and give the president an overwhelming majority. Missouri had long been a hot-bed, not to say a pest-hole, of Democracy; but finally the rankness of the platform became so flagrantly apparent that the Missouri fancy refused to be tickled longer. She balked at those things at which she never balked before, and now she can come and play in New York’s back yard and always be sure of a cordial recep- tion. Missouri has proved, and most conclusively, to the satisfaction of all except Democrats that it is never too late to mend, and that the precious pearl of wisdom often comes late in life. What may we not expect when we reflect »pon the pleasant fact that Missouri has gone Republican? After such an undreamed-of happening may we not look for sermons in stones and hops in the malt beverages of the realm? Verily it seems that the im- possible has happened again, and in a way sufficiently signal to fill us with the assurance that it will happen again. Let us trust that Missouri, hav- ing proved that she was not so black as painted, will benefit by her recent experience, which brought her in out of the cold and into the fold in which THE DEMOCRATIC DONKEY is certainly a quadruped that is en- titled to the consideration and sympathy of all kind-hearted people. From time immemorial he has been mauled and hauled and thumped and clubbed about in such a fashion as to make him the proverbially stupid creature he is. His anatomy is embroidered with boot-heel intaglios, that flash up even as rabbit-tracks in the snow, and he is a panorama which, when he moves, gives him a general kaleidoscopic effect which is not with- out a quaint and unusual artistic effect. In fact, the Democratic donkey is and has been for many decades more kicked against than kicking. This fact is not stated with any desire or intention of belittling the said donkey’s power in the art of reaching high levels with his hinder members, for when the truth is told he soars into the blue to a greater extent with his heels than does his festive playmate, Mr. Bryan, with his jaws. In fact, the oratorical combination of the donkey’s heels and the Nebraska statesman’s jaws would be a sensational platform attraction that would be sure to please and draw in any part of the country, as it would mean a higher grade of pedal geSticulation for the much-berated donkey, while it would add to the sweetness of the free-silver note of Mr. Bryan’s not too dulcet bray. And now it has come to pass that Debs has climbed upon the donkey’s back, and that he and Bryan and Watson would rehabilitate the unfortunate beast. But while they are pulling him in one direction by the ears and the gold Democrats are yanking him in another by the caudal appendage, he is gradually, not to say suddenly, losing all his anatomical gorgeousness, until the casual observer, in looking him over, is pretty sure to fancy that either his sense of perspective is at fault, or the general curvilinear beauty of the donkey is wrecked and a thing of the past. As he causes the cave of echo to burst when he lets his troubled soul loose in a nocturne of grief he is a joyous study for the artist, who sees in his bulging eyes and gnash- ing teeth and general expression of fierceness a gargoyle which, if put over the door of the Democratic he: quarters, would serve as a faith- v. W174 \ 1 Mrs. Ciicr—'" Fly for your life! _Here comes the fox! she is now a shining light. She ful mirror of the pent-up feelings of the party of which he is more than a mere figure-head. He is worthy of better company and better things, and it is to be de- voutly wished that, while the Democrats are attempting to improve him, he will improve them and bring them up to his standard of excellence and virtue. In so doing the Democratic don- key would give them a great lift and achieve a great triumph and cause thinking people to open their eyes and say that nothing is impossible. was a large part of the combina- tion of tidal-wave and landslide that put the hosts of Democracy down and out. And she was by no means the smallest part of the snowdrift which was and is still piled so high over Parker and What’s-his-name that Santa Claus could not locate them in a diving-bell. Missouri honored herself in honoring the president, and we trust that she-may be relied upon in the future to assist in supplying the snowdrift made to bury Democracy and its cham- pions of grab-and graft. A FRIEND IN NEED. 2 Mrs. Duck—"' Well, let's leg {t!"" comicbooks.com | }