Judge — December 3, 1904 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ooo CO... = @HRISCINAS JUDGE « Finest humorous publication ever issued Sd ° ’ Published December 17th “A word to wis sis sufficient” ‘ Friend— How are you doing now ? Scribbler— First rate. Reverend M. Saintlie and I have gone into partnership. Making money hand over fist.” Friend—“ Eh? How do you manage?” Scribbler—"1 write hooks and he de- nounces them."—New York Weekly. Her father—* Can you keep her in the style to which she has been accustomed ? Suitor—Oh, yes, sir. 1 am wealthy enough to have appendicitis."—Adanta Constitution. ried, eh ? 's a serious Elder—« So you're to be Lhope you fully realize that step.” Younger—* Well, if I never realize tha it was a serious misstep I'll be satistied. —Philadelphia Press. You will get more prompt attention and better service by mentionsig Jobce when answering advertisements “That man could own his own home if he were not so extravagant.” “Yes; but what would be the use? If he owned his home he would simply mortgage it."—Mashington Star. “He says he proposes to make auto- mobiles that will easily attain a speed of eighty miles an hour. “Whew ! that’s a great business un- dertaking.” * Yes; but most ofall it means a great tindertaking business.” — Philadelphia Press. | Do you think money brings happi- ness 2 | No,” answered Miss Cayenne.“ But the lack of it brings a great deal of annoy- ance." — Washington Star, “I'm looking for a cold winter.” “Then I will direct you. Go up to Alaska."— Cleveland Plain Dealer. “ What have you to say for yourself ?” demanded the bailie of the drunk and| disorderly. “Am verra sorra, sir,” returned the charge, “but a cam’ up ‘frae Glesca in bad company. “ What sort of company 2” “A lot o' teetotalers.” “Wha-at!" roared the bailie. “You mean to say, sir, that tectotalers are bad company 2?” Weel, rejoined the prisoner, “ye ken | how ‘twas. A had a hale mutchkin o° whuskey wi’ me, an’ a had to drink it all to myself."— Judy. The tone of the Sohmer Piano is particular ly distinguished on account of its volume and purity, its richness and singing quality, and its sympathetic character throughout the entire scale. Mrs. Brown, a California lady, had trained a new Chinese servant to wait on the door by having her daughter, Miss Brown, ring the bell and present her card, ‘Next afternoon the bell rang and the Chinaman waited on the door. A lady presented her card. The Chinese servant took her card, then pulling out of his sleeve a card such as Miss Brown had presented the afternoon before, carefully compared the two. He then handed back to the lady her card exclaiming, “ Tickee no matchee ; no can come in!” and shut the door.—Boston Commercial Bulletin. Edyth—«\ offered young Sapleigh a penny for his thoughts last evening.” AMlayme— I'm ashamed of you, Edyth.” Edyth— Ashamed of me 2” Mayme—" Yes ; or, rather, your ability as a shopper."— Chicago News. Mr, Grumps— You'll have to dis- charge that cook. airs, Grumps—"You liked her at first Mr. Grumps into your way of cooking.” Bits, “Yes; but she’s getting Mlustrated Now approaches the season off coughs and colds, tism and _ pneumonia, number more victims than’ plagud pestilence and famine." * Against these evils there is no si all-aroundsafeguard than Jaeger Undei wear. Famous the world over for it curative as well as protective virtues. arconmrxpey Booklets and Samples Free. Dr doeger’s 8. W. 8. Go.’s Own Slores: New York 306PItth Ave., 157 Broadway. Brooklya: $04 Fulton St. Boston: 230-232 Boylston St. Philadelphia: 1510 Chestaut St. Coleagos 82 State St. Agents in alt ys ed He (at the reception)—« Neurich does: behave as if he belonged to the best ciety, does he ? She—" No, indeed ; he behaves as if imagined the best society belonged him."—Chicago News. “This pay-roll is too big!" exclaimg the manager of the Hamlet compan “Can't we get along with less people 2” You might give up the ghost,” su gested one of the grave-diggers And the manager, wrongly thinki the suggestion referred to himself, di charged the humorist instanter.— Cveu! land Plain Dealer, “I'm a self-made man,” remarked tl loud-voiced individual. The other looked at him closely. cannot accept your apology,” he said Brooklyn Life. DO YOU EVER THINK AB very great value to them. OUT OWNING YOUR OWN HOME? F YOU are thinking about Building a House an invest- ment of $1.00 now will save you hundreds of dollars in building a house, by getting the latest and most practical ideas of the noted and capable architect, Mr. George Palliser. We therefore desire to call your special attention to our new book just issued and containing over One Hundred Up-to-date House Plans The title of this book is GEORGE PALLISER’S MODERN BUILDINGS A new up-to-date book, containing over one hundred $20,000; also plans of Public Library Buildings, Summer Hotels, Stables, Publi ~ This book is a collection of practical designs showing examples of houses recently built, and invaluable to everyone thinking of build ing, by reason of their having been, with very few exceptions, planned in the ordinary course of a busy architect's practice during the last few years, and built in various parts of the country within the prices given. . Full description accompanies each plate, giving sizes, height of stories, how built and finished, and improvements contained, thus giving information of very great value to everyone contemplating building, as the plans and designs embody the best thought and most careful study of those erecting them. giving real results as to cost and a guide that is safe to follow. fore, a value that can be fully appreciated for their practical utility and stand alone as real examples of how some people's homes are planned and what they cost. ‘ To those wanting homes or selling home sites, members of building associations, land companies, real estate men, those having land to improve, carpenters and builders, and everyone interested or who ever hopes to own a home, these designs are invaluable and will prove of Te contains 115 large pages, sie 11x14 inches. Price, bound in heavy paper cover, sent by $1.00. Bound in cloth. $2.00, Sent by mail. postpaid, to any address on receipt of price. Address all orders with remittances to JUDGE COMPANY, 225 FOURTH AVENUE, NEW YORK. lans, Halls, etc., ete. all new (1902), of houses ranging in cost from $500 to ‘These designs and plans have, there- Remit by money order or check—don't send currency. by mail, postpaid, PUBLISHERS, PRINTERS AND LITHOGRAPHERS Desiring paper of superior excellence and uniformity can secure it of the makers of the Papers used in the various publications of THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY. comicbooks.com