Judge — November 26, 1904 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SAM'S GRACE FOR A MIRACLE. H, LAWD, look down upon dis dish An’ miracle dis meat Twell. like dat feast ob seben fish, We'll hab too much ter eat. An’ ez ole Moses hit de stone An’ made de watah roah, Jes’ hit de bowl ob gravy one An! maik it fo" time moah. Au’ den, ter maik us bettah still, Perfo'm fo" po'r ole Sam, An’ change dis tukkey, by dy will, ‘Ter ‘possum stuffed wid yam. NO DANGER. WILLIAM TELL shot the apple from his son's head. “No,” he admitted ; “ [had no fear of hurting the boy. He had just raised a crop of football hair.” The truth thus revealed, the deed naturally lost much of its glory. Se THE turkey isa very greedy bird,” wrote little Bessie in her /f composition. “The one we had for our Thanksgiving dinner had eaten more than two quarts of ovsters.” A GASTRONOMIC INTERPRETATION. Deacon Fowts—" Happy Thanksgibbin’ ter yo'!"* Parson Coors--'Same ter yo’, We should all have somethin’ ter feel thankful fo", Deacon Fowts—"Yais. /'s gwine aftah one, too.” THE BIRD. WATCH. the gobbler strut with royal grace, carmine-hued rosettes with dew besprent. be said to represent ictory of Samothrace. tah! to-morrow comes, and then his race Is ended, when, with murderous intent. The sacrificial knife is o'er him bent nksgiving nears and stops his courtly pace. Ken now his drumsticks beat a gay tattoo Upon the gourmet’s fancy. Giblets rare Roll smoothly down the tracheal labyrinth. While, from a strictly epicurean view, ‘The field of poultry offers flowers fair, The ‘turk is still a peerless hyacinth. AN APROPOS PROTEST. OOS Onan: “You have become remarkably puffed up since Thanksgiving day.” wratitier iaguker ta, . Gorsier—' Yes, but not from pride. It is with appropriate thankfulness for not being tenographer, hasyher:late train; the:oMce:-boy * stuffed up’ to be stuffed down others on Thanksgiving day.” late grandmother. JUSTIFIED. ), Mistah Fommeh !" cried "Ras- tus Johnsing, caught with the goods on in Mr. Fommeh’s turkey-coop ; “ ‘deed, suh, I isn’ a-stealin’ dis yah bird— I's a-takin’ it in se'fdefense, Hones’ I is.” “Selfedefense ?- What kind of a lie are you trying to tell me?” “Please, suh, mah wife she say ef I doan’ fotch home a tukkey she gwine ter break ebery bone in mah body. An’ so I jes’ ‘bleeged ter pertect mahse'f.” TOLD TO THE TOURIST. A ‘TOURIST who went to Jerusalem Fell in with a man named Magoozelem, Who said, They all scoff I try to play golf, Tecause of the way that I foozle 'em.” HOW HE FELT. Hungry Harry (as he reaches the point of satiation)—« I was ‘starvin’, lady, before I begun on this beautiful Thanks- givin’ meal.” Mrs. Handoutle—" And how do you feel now, poor man?” Hungry Harry (equivocally)—" I feel CAUSE FOR THANKSGIVING. if Vali vin'all ovevag’ “Well, you're a great one! Yesterday you borrowed ten of me, saying you were hard up, and now you as if I'd like ter be starvin’ all over ag’in, a1 here eating red-headed duck and all sorts of things.” lady. “Well, 1f 1 hadn't borrowed the ten | couldn't eat red-headed duck.” comicbooks.com