Judge, 1904-11-19 · page 7 of 16
Judge — November 19, 1904 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous anecdotes and cartoons centered on folk wisdom and domestic comedy. The "Old Salt" (a weathered sailor) offers observations on life's contradictions—the difference between being good and doing good, or how a wife's character matters more than her beauty. The main cartoons mock marital discord and legal absurdity. One depicts a divorce proceeding where a clever lawyer, accused of "wrecking homes," defends himself by claiming he's merely a "letter-shifter"—changing the 'i' in "united" to make it "untied." Another cartoon jokes about a husband asking his wife a question while she's styling her hair, starting marital trouble. A Scottish segment features a piper noting that kilts keep men young, though one woman suggests they need "bumble-bees" warming to be fully rejuvenated. The humor relies on wordplay, domestic stereotypes, and working-class dialect typical of early-20th-century American humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN OLD SALT’S OBSERVATIONS. Cee ERE is as much difference between bein’ good an’ doin’ good as there is between bein’ a man an’ doin’ a man. It ain't the light-house that keeps us off the rocks; it’s the man that keeps its lamp lit. It ain't the beauty of the wife that makes home happy ; it's the number an’ the character of the wo- men’s clubs she don’t belong to. Once, when I was ashore, I was mighty nigh scared to death by a wicked horse I run across, A fly flew up an’ laughed at me. He was fourteen hundred an’ fifty-six times smaller 'n I was, but that gee-gee didn’t frighten him a bit. Women sometimes find it hard to git real emphasis into their talk. There was one a-sailin’ on my ship with me who tried to tell me how mean the husband was that she was runnin’ away from. “He's jest the meanest man!" says she. “Why, that chap ‘s so mean that he wouldn't give a drink of water to a—to a drowndin’ man.” I docked in Philadelphia, an’ was re'lly wantin’ of a drink, “I'll take you where you can git one,” said a man, “if you won't tell no one of it, It's ap. g." What's that?” Lasked. “A place where liquor 's sold without a license,” he replies. “We call ‘em blind pigs down Boston way," I said. Same thing,” says he. “P.g.'s a pig without an i.” FOOD FOR THOUGHT. Them lawyers is clever chaps. I dropped in the other day when one was arguin’ of a divorce-case. The lawyer for the other side had jest been sassin’him, He spoke up real indignant like an’ said, a-p'int- in’ to the chap that had been a-callin’ of him names, * You call me a wrecker of homes !" he said.“ Nothin’ couldn't be no further from the truth. I'm jest a letter-shifter.” “A letter- shifter!" exclaimed the other lawyer, What do you mean by that, sir?” “ Why, all I do,” remarks the first law! to cha r, tis the position of the letter +i? in that well-known word ‘united.’ I shift it till it sets abaft the +t,’ an’ then the couple that has gone to court is jest * untied.’ ” ROWAKD MARSHALL. SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. ee HAT started the trou- ble between the Browns ?” CHANGE! “Brown asked his wife a “There goes Smith. Used to be a lion before he got married.”* question while she was trying “Looks like a truck-horse now.”* to put her hair up a new way.” A CALEDONIA-DAY REJUVENATOR. Roppie (the piper)—"" The kilts mak ye young again, Wully; but ye JeAN—"Thot ‘Il be mended, Roddie, when the bumble-bees warms dinna leap so spry as ye once did."* him oop.”* comicbooks.com