Judge, 1904-11-12 · page 4 of 16
Judge — November 12, 1904 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humor pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: 1. **"A Howling Enthusiast"** depicts someone excitedly following election returns, likely referencing Theodore Roosevelt or William Howard Taft (mentioned by name). The satirical poem mocks overwrought political enthusiasm. 2. **"No Wonder No Wedding"** jokes about working-class courtship customs, with characters discussing wedding expenses and orange-blossom dress traditions. 3. **"The Blazed Trail"** is a poem about hunting/woodsmen culture. 4. Other brief humor pieces include wordplay about grammar ("vassal") and a question about serving English breakfast tea. 5. A photograph labeled **"Judge's Favorites"** features Jean Patroquin, apparently a performer or public figure of the era. The page is primarily humorous commentary on contemporary American life and politics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A HOWLING ENTHUSIAST. ['M boiling with rapture, for out in the street The barrel is burning the bandlet to beat. I watch the bright blazes leap madly about, And loudly for Roosevelt and Fairbanks I shout. And while on the highway the big barrel burns T yell with the crowd as I read the returns ‘That on the big bulletin-board gayly pop To tell us that Teddy is right on the top. The cheers of the street urchins fill me with glee Until my old spirits are *way up in g, ‘And wildly I dance with a vim and a will— Good-bye, A. G. Parker and old Dr. Hill! The plaudits for Teddy embroider the breeze, ‘The barrels are blazing ‘way up in the trees ; And I am quite certain, right down to the core, ‘The country is safe for at least four years more. WHAT a shocking bad hair-cut Bixby has! Where on earth did he get it?” + It looks to me as if he had it done at a clipping:bureau.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES. JEAN PATRIQUIN. We know full well, oh, dainty star! your diamonds rich and rare You ne’er have to have grabbed upon the bustling thoroughfare: But In the show, of which you are the biggest sort of hit, ‘The people grab, and hungrily, the diamonds of your wit. And you are quite the finest thing that ever came to town, The which is why those diamonds are your great ar- tistic crown, ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. s¢BUT, my dear,” said Mrs, Fosdick in sur- prise, “you said you were very hard up. If that is the case we can't afford to give the swell reception you-suggest.” “That's just it,” rejoined Mr. Fosdick. “I am dreadfully hard up, and we can’t afford not NO WONDER NO WEDDING. 10 give it! Mrs. Reity—‘' Shure, an’ afther all their ‘billin’ an’ in’ * ¥ i ar ‘. gil" te penta ad DRRate Un matinee ee en Rn goals” Patty. Casey an! Mary Kally/ain’t THE science of the Democratic methods of to- Mr. O'Brien—** Th’ bride insisted on havin’ orange-blossoms wid her weddin'-dress."" day should be called « folderology.” GOOD GUESS, ‘+e TOMMY TADDELLS,” said the teacher of the grammar class, “ what is the feminine of * vassal '?" “Vassaline, ma‘am,” replied Tommy promptly. THE BLAZED TRAIL. HE LEANS upon his axe. Before him prone a forest monarch lies. ‘The vastness of the woods yet drones And echoes back the thunders of its fall. At length vast silence comes. He sighs. Vast is the forest looming up beyond, Vast is the sigh he heaves. Vast are his words, reflective of vast thoughts. “Gee, Bill!” he says, “I shore am tuck. ered out. Gi’ me a chaw.” ex stow. PROMPTLY ANSWERED. Professor Quis—s My dear Mrs. Angloom, why do you serve English breakfast-tea at dinner?” Mrs. Angloom —" Why, don't IT SOUNDED THAT WAY. you know, professor, it's now morn- «+ Gol hang th 5 4 : : fog ta Englend mobiiee' Mane thet gander, any way! Every time he honks I think I'm back ag'in to N' York a-dodgin’ auter- comicbooks.com