Judge — November 5, 1904 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN OLD SALT’S OB- ONE TOO MANY SERVATIONS. 66 YELL,” said th’ant as he looked up at th’ elephant, «what there is of my shadow is jest as black as his'n is.” “He's strong as steel,” she said about th’ man she loved. I know better, for his tenderness was more than half his strength, Th’ happiest sea- captain that | ever knew received fair weather a ways with surprise an’ took th’ storms as what was quite to be expected. Th’ chap that stops to tell Satan to git he- hind him) m like enough, pause long enough for th’ old chap to catch up with him in- stead. Love laughs at lock- smiths —that is, before they have eloped. After- wards it is sometimes mighty anxious to find one cute enough to make WHAT WINS IN DARKTOWN. th’ door secure against Mr. Persimmons——" Yais, Jim took de ‘jack-pot.” Pete only had the wolf. four aces."” . . . ‘Th’ chap who is Mr. Possumus—" An’ what did Jim have ? Mr. Persiatons—'' Jim? Well, Jim had a wife an’ five children, €Verything to somebody an’ needed de money, an’ carried two razzers besides, | believe.” is likely to be somethin’ that’s worth while. Th’ chap that tries to be somethin’ to everybody is almost certain to be nothin’ that amounts to any- thin’ to anybody. 2: It's all right to tell a young man to padile his own canoe, but I notice that them that really “'Is he coming this way?” succeeds in life is mostly them that somehow manages to git theirs paddled for ‘em—at right small wages for th’ person at th’ paddle “What you workin’ so like sin for?" I asked Jim Harding. «1 want to git through so’s to git my dinner,” he replied.“ What you eatin’ so like mad for?" I later asked Jed Furman. “I'm anxious to git back there to my work,” says he. Puzzle—Which man’s wages did I raise? Once there was an Injun that hammered at his finger with a brick, upon th’ theory that it would « feel heap good when he left off." More'n once there’s heen a woman who has coquetted with some other chap be- cause her lover would be so much more pleased when she smiled on him ag: Bat finally th’ Injun died of blood-poisonin’, LS SS NS S SS Praisin’ a man for knowin’ a lit- tle bit about a lot of things is like praisin’ one for havin’ loved a lot of women some. Th’ man you re'lly want to give a medal-to is th’ chap that knows all there is to know about one thing, an’ th’ feller that has loved one woman well enough to furnish upa little flat for her, with a mechan- ical piano an’ other happinesses in it ready to her hand an’ heart. HOWARD MARSHALL. HER REPLY. THERE once was a girl from Oshkosh Who, when asked if that name were UP TO THE GROCER. josh, Said ii sosh “Uncle Henry, these aigs haln't as fresh as they orter be."* aid, wrhillikens woth 5 “Well, | hain’t surprised. We giv the hens thet health-food Oshkosh is no josh. Georoe—"* Rawther too rum fawa joke, ye sold us last month, an’ they've bin ailin’ ever since.”* I'm from Oshkosh myself, b'gosh !"” bah Jove! Good-bye fawevah!”’ comicbooks.com