Judge — November 5, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ar mmx Parken BoiLpixe Foe Westaan Anvesrisine Orrice— 1313 Marifo Euxornan satis-acnsrs—/aternational News Company, b The contents of FUDGE are protected by conyright in both CONTRIBUTORS musi DRAWINGS and all contribations sent to the Art De descrietive letter-Dress shouid in very instance be wri insure safe and promot return of material not accented. lose a stamped and seif-a Ov ER the bleachers the wind is whirling the leaflets in eddies, Where, in the shimmering bun, the frankfurter gladdens no more. THE HOLE in the doughnut does not play an important part in the doughnut’s make-up. But to make the doughnut complete the hole must be there. A doughnut without a hole is quite as unthinkable as would be a hole without a doughnut. Underhill Parker bears the same relation to the Democracy that the hole does to the doughnut. To enjoy the dough- nut the hole must be eaten with it. cephalic, brachycephalic, or simply hyperbrachycephali seems to remain stubbornly in the conundrum class. But the fact still re- mains that what old Dr. Hill needs more than anything else at the present writing is a good, vigorous, mental shampoo. HE chestnut drops, The pop-corn pops, And on the scene The turkey hops. And fall, a-sigh, Gold-sandaled, spry, Now skips from quail To pumpkin pie, And moves along O’er twig and prong, With pancakes drip- Ping from her song. ‘HE DEMOCRATIC SHIP is again in dire danger, as it has been sailing on troubled waters. The signals of distress are out, and such political life- savers as the Princeton Falstaff, the Maryland Pecksniff, and the Nebraska free-silver lining, war- ranted to fit the interior of any cloud without reference to the degree of its darkness, are un- able to render any assistance. The Democratic ship has come in contact with the solid rock of Republicanism, and its managers are in a position to gather the amount of the marine-insurance policy, providing that they ever succeeded in obtaining one. The waves of the Vermont, Maine, and other majorities have done much toward causing the Demo- cratic ship to toss about helpless- ly and to put its Jonah on the seasick list. The cry for help is uttered in vain, and the old derelict is banging and bobbing over the billows of New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania, which will soon put the historic craft out of sight and out of mind. There is no oil, Standard or oth- er, that can still the troubled waters upon which the Demo- GOOD ONE WAY AS THE OTHER. “ Young Gotrox has just bought ten thousand shares of ‘ gold-mine stock.” “Oh, well, he might as well lose it that way as at poker.” PUBLISH WAVE: NETERKATH StRRET, New Yore. Building, Chicage, ll. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS : EO STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. the Cumustaras Jupur. foreign countries in the postal union. $6.00 a year. inenue de Opera, Paris: Si 's News E 2, Germany, of this conyraht will be prompily and bigorousiy Drosecuted. otherwise return of the Latter when founs unavailaNe cannot be guarantees Wy on each and every seoarate shel inciosure of stames to the fi The accompanying foke or amount of postage is also reauired, 10 cratic ship is banging and bumping. There is only one body of water upon which the Democratic ship can sail like a cup-lifter, and that is on the stream that was made especially for it—Salt river. 'HE UNDERHILL-PARKER bubble has practically burst, and the echo of its bang will be heard from one end of the country to the other on the morning after election day. It was a picturesque bubble while it lasted, and its iridescent beauties, as it bobbed about in the campaign zephyt greatly admired by wsthetic old Dr. Hill, whose eye for the beautiful in politics is said to be more than ordinarily keen. By the way, it may not be entirely superfluous to add that old Dr. Hill blew the said bubble with his best dream-pipe, and for this reason, if for no other, the bubble has turned out to be a pipe-dream. Underhill Parker looks like a man who is making preparations to gather the backwood unto himself, that he may sit in its dammy seclusion and reflect and absorb much wisdom, while he sprays his troubled sighs athwart the cold, gray slabs of silence that drift about him and carom on his surging thoughts. He is already a man with a bitter past, which will be embroidered with defeat in a brief handful of days hence. And if there is anything like a subtle prophecy to be based on * outcome of the present situation, it looks as if Underhill Parker is also a man with a bit- ter future. The wind has been taken out of his s and he is floundering helplessly and hope- lessly on the sea of public opin- ion, which will wreck him and put him down and under to stay. It is anything but a pl ture for Democratic eyes, a is quite likely that his friends and adherents will sit down by the banks of the political Baby- lon and weep. Old Dr. Hill, who is still something of a force, as well as a farce, in peanut politics, is not quite satisfied with the immediate outlook. It is reported that he is wringing his knuckles and beating his breast and moaning “ Woe is me!’’ in the fastnesses of Wol- fert’s Roost, while the chill breezes rattle the window-sashes and fill his hollow soul with weird thoughts and aching mem- ories. If the wind could but play through the various aper- tures in the old doctor’s reputa- tion, it would discourse wolian melodies that would frighten peo- ple who are not superstitious. And Underhill Parker knows all this, and naturally looks like one that would crumble, disintegrate and vanish from the scene into a deep, far-reaching solitude and wrap the draperies of the same about him and lie down to pleas- ant pipe-dreams, comicbooks.com