Judge — November 5, 1904 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘An Atchison man lost five dollars in making change, and when he went home old his wife about it. This happened six Fears ago, and she has never forgotten it, Pen telling him what luxuries they could jafford if he hadn't lost the money. Last ‘geek theit son dropped two thousand dol- jars in a poor investment, Don't say a word to him about it,” she said to her husband. * Poor boy, he feels bad enough Atchison Globe., Miss Withers — Cora! Wha your> saying iiss Knisely—* Oh, nothing ; only that he met me life seemed a desert to “You are blushing, s.that clumsy partner of Withers That is no reason « should waltz like a dromedary, is Town and Country. 11 of two generations and more has been that proves Abbott's Angostura Bitters .¢ best tonic for family use. \irs. Counterhop (with an injured air) “you told me before we were married that you were the highest-salaried clerk in the store.” Counterhop (equally injured)— So lam, I'm two inches and a half er than any other salaried clerk in the - establishment."— Chicago Tribune. ny persons still doubt the superiority of we Sshimer Piano let them try for themselves {be convinced, not only that the Sohmer és the lest, but that it will continue to be the best. ¢ here, my lad, if there ¥ more mistakes made behind this ir. “Eh, what's this? How did this five-dollar gold piece get among these pennies ?” The boy—"* Took it in by mistake, sir.” The grocer—“Eh? Mistake? Well, we won't count this one."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. HERE is no beverage more delicious, particularly at this season, with one’s dinner or luncheon than a bottle of yment to any kind of a get eA — {i Rewtanrants, Hotel, Oyster and Coop Honsea, “Can you cook 2" «Yes, mum ; everything.” And wash ? “Yes, mum. * How many nights out do you want?" * None.” * Sunday afternoon ?" “No, mum.” “ How often will you scrub the kitchen?” Twice a week.” And wash the windows ?” Every Friday Build a fire every morning 2" «Yes, mum.” “Do you dislike children 2° “No, mum." * How long were you in your last place?” “ Four years.” w Why did you leave 7 « The people went to Europe.” “ How much wages did you get?” « Eight dollars a month.” “When can you come ? “ To-morrow.” Just then a keeper from the insane-asy- lum rushed in shouting, «Oh, there you are!" bound her hand and foot, and carried her off bodily.— Chicago Record-Herald. BY PROXY. WHAT THE BABY NEEDED, “I suffered from nervousness and head- ache until one day about a year ago it suddenly occurred to me what a great coffee drinker I was, and I thought may- be this might have something to do with my trouble, so I shifted to tea for a while but was not better—if anything, worse. * At that time I had a baby four months old that we had to feed on the bottle, un- til an old lady friend told me to try Pos- tum Food Coffee. Three months ‘ago | commenced using Postum, leaving off the | tea and coffee, and not only have my headaches and nervous troubles entirely disappeared, but since then I have been giving plenty of nurse for my baby and have a large, healthy child now, “T have no desire to drink anything but Postum and know it has benefited my children, and I hope all who have children will try Postum and find out for themselves what a really wonderful food drink it is.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich, Both tea and coffee contain quantities of a poisonous drug called caffeine that directly affects the heart, kidneys, stom- ach and nerves, Postum is made from cereals only, scientifically blended to get the coffee flavor. Ten days’ trial of Pos- tum in place of tea or coffee will show a health secret worth more than a gold mine. There's a reason. Get the book, « The Road to Wellville,” in each package. Orpheus was boasting that he could make the rocks sing to his music. “Perhaps,” retorted /Eolus, “but I'll bet you can’t make the furnace draw.” Smarting under the insult, the god of| music invented the cornet-player by way of retaliation.— Collier's. THE “SOHMER”? HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS HIS THOUGHTS. IN THE COUNTRY. As I lie beneath the willow, With the whole earth as a pillow, The whistle of the quail breaks all my joy ; For that whistle, clear and free, Brings the office back to me, And unthinkingly I shout, “Oh, drat that boy ! IN THE CITY. Oh, my bosom heaves with joy As the prankful office-boy Sits loudly whistling up and down the scale ; For that whistle, clear and free, Brings the country back to me, And unthinkingly I look up for the quail. —New York Times. We have received from Dodd, Mead & Co., « Recreations of an Anthologist,” by Brander Mathews. This welcome little volume will be enjoyed by all readers who have bookish instincts, and are fond of the sort of light essays of which it,is com- posed. Aside from the literary charm and finish of the papers themselves, there are many gems of verse scattered over the pages from Holmes, Lowell, Bunner, Al- drich, Sherman, and others. There is a paper on the uncollected poems of H.C. Bunner, in which a number of his verses, as yet unbooked, are printed, among them, “ Behold the Deeds,” a chant royal which greatly pleased’ Robert Browning. “Lam sorry, doctor, you were not able to attend my supper last night; it would have done you good to be there. * Ithas already done me good, madam. I have just prescribed for three of the guests."— Zit. Bits. “What conclusion did your literary and debating society reach last night ?” “Oh,” answered Miss Cayenne, “the conclusion was as usual—chicken-salad, Mrs, Upmore— How is your experi« ment of living in the country succeeding?” Mrs. Hyems—\t isn't so bad as you might expect. It costs us more, of course, to have our butter and fresh vegetables brought out to us from the city, but we don’t have to entertain nearly as much company."—Scoltish American. Lady (getting on Thirty-fourth street car)—" Conductor, do you stop at the Waldorf-Astoria ?” Conductor —" No, madam; how can you expect me to do so at twelve dollars a week ?"—New York Times. “Very well, sir,” said Doctor Quack, after his quarrel with the undertaker, “T'll make you sorry for this.” “What are you going to do?" asked the undertaker; «retire from practice ?” —Philadelphia Press. Gold Seal, America’s Favorite Champagne, has the sparkling bead and aroma possessed | by no other wine. There are two kinds —Special Dry, the | choice of the ladies. Brut, a very dry wine, for connoisseurs. Sold by all leading grocers and wine merchants, Urbana Wine Co., Urbana, N. Y., Sole Maker, ice-cream, and *Good-night ; had a per- fectly lovely time.’ "— Washington Star. = the season of coughs and colds, of rheuma- tism and pneumonia, which number more victims than’ “plague, pestilence and fai ‘Against these evils there is no surer all-around safeguard than Jaeger Under-' wear, Famous the world over for its curative as well as protective virtues. RRCONNENDED BY LRADIKO THYSICLANS EYELYWHEREY Beokidts and Sampler Free, Dy, See's 8 W. 8. Go $0 Sas: New York: 206Pitth Ave., 157 Broad: Brooklyn: 504 Faltoa St. Boston : 250-232 Boylston St. Philadelphia: 1510 Chestuat St. Chicago; 82 State St. It is 53 years young ; up to 20th Cen- tury methods throughout. Get particu- lars free. No importunity. PENN MUTUAL LIFE, 921-3-5 Chestnut St., Philadelphia. 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