Judge, 1904-10-22 · page 6 of 16
Judge — October 22, 1904 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humorous short pieces typical of Judge's satirical format: **"Happy Hi Hunks"** satirizes rural contentment—a man boasts about full woodpiles and preserved meat, personified with exaggerated joy. **"Why She Jumped"** references the nursery rhyme "cow jumped over the moon," reframing it as escape from a deer hunter—absurdist humor about hunting season. **"Uncle Isham's Way to Cook a Possum"** uses dialect humor (common but now problematic) to present a Southern recipe in vernacular speech, reflecting period entertainment conventions. **"Still Growing"** jokes about fishermen's exaggerations—the fish "grows three inches every time he tells about it." **"The Football Craze"** mocks the football mania sweeping America by applying it to the nursery rhyme's shoe-dwelling family. **"Beauty's Use"** offers philosophical commentary on beauty as excuse for superficiality. **"A Comparison"** references J.P. Morgan's handling of Canterbury's archbishop, comparing him favorably to prizefighter Billy Madden—likely praising Morgan's negotiating skill. The "Kitchen Notes" illustration humorously shows excessive utensils needed for one simple task.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HAPPY HI HUNKS. YOU bet I'm feeling pretty good, And any tunes my jig meet ; For now the back yard 's full of wood, The cellar 's full of pig-meat And when I know that down my throat I can this fine old food pile, I'm happy as yon cat afloat And tacking down yon wood-pile. That's why my chest I gayly thump And all my face enamel With happy grins while I outhump With joy the circus camel. WHY SHE JUMPED. HE cow had just jumped over the moon. “I wanted to get out of range of that deer-hunter’s rifle,” she explained. Hereupon the little dog laughed, showing that it had the true hunt- ing instinct. UNCLE ISHAM’S WAY TO COOK A ‘POSSUM. UST thing yo" ketch yo'r‘posum— An’ dat ain't easy, chile— Sometime ter ketch one ‘possum T walk a good ten mile. Den kill an’ scrape an’ clean *im, Set de ‘taters also bakin’ In skins, de ole-time ways. When yo" see dem ‘taters softenin’ An’ lettin’ sugar out, Den take ‘em out an’ peel "em An’ lay ‘im ina pan; ‘An’ drap ‘em round erbout Den slip ‘im in de oven— Dat ‘possum, rich wid gravy! A ole brick oven, man! Cum, hab a slice! Cum, cum! Pour round a little w Um, um! um, um! Hab de oven in a bl Um, um! um, um! MARTHA YOUNG. STILL GROWING. “Do fishes grow up fast, Jimmie?” “+ Some of ‘em does. Pop caught one here last year that grows tree inches every time he tells about it.”” THE FOOTBALL CRAZE. THE old woman who lived in a shoe explained. “I thought it would be a fine place to bring up football players,” she remarked. Calling the little darlings around her, they practiced the latest kick. BEAUTY'S USE. 66 REAUTY''s its own excuse for being.” Yea, ¥3 . - Most men to this sweet creed are dutiful ; Yet beauty 's the excuse, we can’t but see, For much in life that is not beautiful. oe Manders, A COMPARISON. IERPONT MORGAN, in his handling of the archbishop of Canterbury, has shown himself to be so efficient a A CONFIDENTIAL EXPLANATION. Jim Jacrson—'So It's all owin’ to a mistake dat Pahson Fowler didn’ preach dis manager that experts compare him with Billy Madden in the. mawnin’, eh?” Deacon Wisttone—"' Yais. By mistake he got inter a coop ob game-cocks, an’ dey clawed up his ‘clericals’ so's he couldn’ preach.”* palmy days when that worthy had in hand and at heart the interests of John L. Sullivan. KITCHEN NOTES BY THE MISTRESS. It required all these utensils to get the cork out of a bottle at our house, and yet it might have been accomplished with a little, insignificant corkscrew.