Judge, 1904-10-22 · page 4 of 16
Judge — October 22, 1904 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains Aesop's Fables parodies and political satire typical of Judge magazine's humor. **Top section**: "The Fable of the Thought-Less Donkey" mocks an elephant's vanity about being photographed with GOP (Grand Old Party) letters, satirizing Republican self-promotion and materialism. **Middle cartoons**: "Wattling Will" and related panels appear to reference a political figure (likely William Jennings Bryan or similar contemporary politician) haggling over "boots" and "booze"—satirizing political corruption, bribery, or the gap between politicians' public promises and private dealings. **Right column**: Various short satirical quips mock contemporary figures and behaviors—orchestral conductors, business practices, and political hypocrisy. The overall tone ridicules political figures, corporate greed, and hypocrisy through animal fables and character sketches, typical of Judge's late 19th/early 20th-century political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ESOPUS FABLES, THE FADLE OF THE THOUGHT. LESS DONKEY. AN ELEPHANT, being asked why he was al- ways photographed in a blanket decorated with the cabalistic letters, G. O. P replied, “Those decorations are a testimonial from a glad and satisfied public. Iam the advance agent of pros- perity and the sole supplyer of the full dinner-pail. 1 deal in nothing but goods that are all wool and a yard wide, made by satisfied workmen who are paid liv ing wages, and who in re- turn do good work. I make no promises that I am not well able to perform, and I do not attempt to accom. plish the impossible.” NOT A TOTAL FAILURE. Whereupon an emaci- Onchestra-Leaper—"' It's strange; a part of the audience are JUDGE'S FAVORITES. ated donkey in the vicinity applauding the ‘villain.”"" ITA ALLEN MUBEARD IN "THE ISLE OF srice."” fell into fits of laughter. gy gee heaved, Ser une oagaae geen aaned and sidestepped Your acting Is so very fine that critics are delighted, “That is distinctly applauding his ‘ shiftiness.’ And say your equal anywhere not lately has been characteristic of you,” said And furthermore, they say you beat all hollow,in your the elephant severely to the beast that had just brayed. You are amply equipped with glory : ears, and your vocal cords resemble the bass-strings of a dog-house; but your cerebral Upon ‘ae ee most gorgeous, gilt- acess is about as valuable for thinking purposes as a hard-boiled egg. Without attempt- ing to prove the falsity of my contention, you merely bray in loquacious derision, when, as a HIS REGRET. matter of fact, if you were a thoughtful beast, you could profit by my example.” THE Apollo Belvedere shyly confessed. «I'm Moral—The mental equipment of a donkey is limited to the control of his vocal cords pretty well satisfied with myself,” he admit- and his ears. ted; “but I wish I could put my hand in the breast of my frock- coat, as the orators do.” Hereupon he could only ree gret that the Roman fashions for- bade. ONCE MORE, HE erstwhile term, to “telegraph,” Was shortened to laconic ‘+ wire,” The dearth of time not being half Enough for all the heart's desire. But in these * wireless "-message days, These “strenuous days beyond compare, We'll have to change the current phrase Again from “ wire" to—'*air."" RYAN is now beginning to look like the personification of a handful of dead issues. HE GOT THE BOO'S (BUT NOT THE “ BOOZE"). ACCOUNTING FOR IT. Se [TIS face was decorated with court-plaster.” “1 suppose so. I think he learned to shave in a correspond- ence school.” THE OTHER WAY ROUND. T° fallow out the golden rule cost a lot of labor, ‘Tis harder still to hate yourself ‘The way you hate your neighbor. A SUGGESTION. Inventor—' This will be an cighty-horse-power air-ship.” Friend —* Horsepower? I should think you'd figure it by bird-power.”