Judge — October 22, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ar Tue Panxen Burtpixc, Fours Avexve PUBLISHED WEEKLY D NINSTEESTH Stuer, New Youu. Westexn Apvertisinc Orrice— 1313 Hariford Building, Chicage, Hl. ‘0 SUBSCRIDERS: ND CANADA une ‘Hor thirteen TERMS cO STATES IN ADVANCE. Including the Cumstwas Juoce. RIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $5.00 a year. Evxornan sates-acunts—lntermational News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, F.C. The contents of FUDGE are protected by conyrigM in both the United States and Great Britain. CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamped and self-addressed enibeiove with all manuscriots, othertvise nt should have the sender's fi in idaal Dicture, and NOT w insure safe and promot return of material not accented. 'HE DEMOCRATIC PARTY has an angel of great staying power in Belmont. As an angel Belmont appears to have found his politi level, and in supplying the sinews of war for a party so far advanced in decomposition as is the party of Cyclone Bryan, old Dr. Hill, Coal-trust Davis, Gum-shoe Bill, Billingsgate Tillman, and others too numerous to mention, he proves beyond all doubt that he believes that all the world loves a cheerful loser. In the vernacular of the Tenderloin, Belmont is a good thing, and it may be added the good thing is behind a comic-opera Proposition that is anything other than a good thing. Belmont is the equivalent of the agriculturist who mortgages his property and leaves the fastnesses of his woolly western home to enter into business relations with an eastern bunco-steerer. He has purchased the largest kind of a gold- brick, and he is sound, logical food for the infectious kind of laughter that causes the suspenders to burst and the waist-band buttons to scatter and fly in all directions. The laugh is on Belmont to siay; and it is to be trusted, in a feeling of common charity, that the Democratic fool, in part- ing with his money, may purchase large, imperial chunks of nickel-plated wisdom that will in the end make his outlay a good investment. It will not be long before he is a sadder and a wiser man. He will tire of being the good thing behind a bad thing, and he will also shine in angel whose wings of riches have been pretty well clipped all along the line. NDERHILL PARKER is as light as a feather, and a feather is as light as Underhill Parker—by which we mean that Underhill Parker is as » London : Brentans's, Avenue de!" Opera, Paris: Snarback's News Exchange, Mainz, Germany. Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. turn of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. name and aires Yoritten plainly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying foke or ron a senarate slio of parer. inciosure of stamps to the full amount of postage (3 also required, 19 much a featherweight as a feather is an Underhill-Parker weight. If the hand-made tea-biscuit had but the airy quality of lightness that is the chief characteristic of Underhill Parker, considered as a leader and an organizer, then would that useful filler be up to that traditional standard of excel- lence peculiar to the disk of dough which the average mother is said to have compounded. It is not known just how many ounces Underhill Parker weighs on the scales of public opinion, but it is very evident that his avoir- dupois is not that which old Dr. Hill would have us believe it to be. The sly old doctor knows, and to perfection, all the mysteries of the art of mak- ing the most of anything. He has frequently transformed mole-hills into mountains; and in a like manner we fancy that, in the eyes of gold-brick buyers, he can make presidential candidates with the material of which legislative aspirants are composed. Old Dr. Hill’s fondness for peanut politics and political peanuts stamps him as the sort of simian that would insult the intelligence of the people by attempting to foist the Esopus farmer upon the country as one having the proper presidential-candidate weight. Old Dr. Hill is the man behind the candidate, and that fact should be pasted in the hat of every voter and reflected upon and not forgotten, to the end that he who runs on the said Democratic ticket to-day may a few weeks hence be an also-ran. Underhill Parker, when weighed, is found wanting; and in stating this fact it is scarcely necessary to add that the scales of public opinion are right and true to a hair,and may, therefore, be relied upon for correctness in the matter of the ounces of Underhill Parker, the political jumping-jack of old Dr. Hill. NEEDED AN OPIATE. Faruer- What will you take to Traue. hoe an acre of potatoes?" “Oh, any kind uv dope, so’s | won't know wot I'm doin’ ?"*