Judge — October 8, 1904 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ar THe Parsee Borpixc. Fourrn AVENUE AND Westra Apvannisixd Urnice-- 2343 Harifond > WEEKLY INETRRNTH Stier. New Your. lding, Chicago, lk TERMS TO st BSCRIBERS : UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE One copy, one year. or sanumbers= se Including the Cumustatas June S SUPSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $5.00 a year. Fowornan sates-acnnrs—/nternational News Company, Bream’s building, Chancery Lane, EC, London: Brentano's, avenue de l' Opera, Paris: Saariach's News Exchange, Sains, Wermany. The contents of FUDGE are protected by conyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and bizorousiy crosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamoed and self-adiressed entvelove with all manuscriots, otherwise return of the latter when found unavailaNe cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent fo the Art descriotive letter-press shoald in every insure safe and promot return of material not acceoted. 'HE DEMOCRATIC PARTY has come to be regarded as a comic prop- osition by all thinking and reasoning people, without reference to the point of view. This so-called Jeffersonian aggregation can and does sup- ply the country with a fund of innocent hilarity, without which it would often be sad and glum indeed. It has been suggested, evidently by some one who appreciates the comic possibilities of this party and believes that it is without limitation in its ability to keep the country on the continuous guffaw, that it be added to the attractions of Dreamland. If this contin- gent of graft, anti-expansion, and what not should enter the precincts of Dreamland, it would be to instantly become the whole show. Nothing in the Coney-island Patmos could match such all-round wonders, for instance, as old Uncle David and Gum Shoe Bill, or any of the many other champion statesmen of the Democratic party, including the skipful, historic donkey. The traditions of the party would also be something pretty fine, not to say unique, if cut into suitable and appropriate designs and used as wall- decorations on any of the Dreamland buildings. The broken promises might also be used to advantage as a tessellated floor, as they are suffi- cient in fragments to cover the dancing space of acasino. If the Democrats should go to Dreamland, Dreamland would immediately become a section of that troupe. In this way the Democratic party might have fresh vim and energy infused into it, and become possessed of a purpose which would give it new life and cause it to be looked upon as a political organization. F ACTIONS, as we are told, speak louder then words, we are led to fancy that Underhill Parker’s action in allowing the Lydia Pinkham of partment should have the sender's fall name and adiress written plainly on each and every sevarale sketch. The accompanying joke o tance be ‘writlen upon its indtoidaal picture, and NOT upon a senarate sliv of paver, Inciosure of stamos to the full amount of postage ts also required, to American politics, Belmont, to illuminate his anatomy with the trading- imps of his skindicate should quite unsphinx and put him boreastical on the high level now enjoyed by the Democratic donk understudy William Jennings Bryan. The jelmont trading-stamp, such as it is, is only skindicate deep, which means that it is as long on shallow- ness as it is short on everything else that is good and decent. Mr. Belmont will learn to his sorrow, before the snowflakes fly, that a president cannot be made with trading-stamps. They may add to his general beauty and give him a kaleidoscopic effect as he moves airily or pompously about; but after all, these effects, even when rococo, bizarre, or archaic, are only such as strongly savor of the sawdusted circus-ring, and serve only to revive in the ear of the astute observer who reads between the trading-stamps the shrill shriek of the red-lemonade vender and the petulant pop of the peanut. If old Dr. Belmont were as resourceful and quick-witted as he should be, to make his efforts yield the maximum crop of results, he would adopt a different line of action. He would hang his paste-brush on the willow-tree and dispense with his trading-stamps, and cover his presidential racer with a glittering argosy of porous-plasters, and from the makers of the same harvest golcondas of jingling coin, would act as a soothing salve for his feelings on the day after election. Old Dr. Belmont may produce effects that are airy or ornate, according to his whim; but when he at- tempts to make Underhill Parker look like a winner with his tradinz- stamp he makes him look more like a human combination of a crazy-quilt and a memorial window, not to say the seven cents of our picturesque ‘FEMININE CHROMATICS. “'So Mr and Mrs. Jones have quarteled? Why doesn't she make up?” She does, dreadfully. That's why they quarrel.” comicbooks.com