Judge, 1904-10-08 · page 14 of 16
Judge — October 8, 1904 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of Judge's format: **Main Cartoon**: "Methuselah and Vice-Presidency" mocks elderly political candidates. The ancient biblical figure Methuselah refuses a VP nomination, declaring he's "not old enough" — a jab at contemporary politicians considered too aged for office (likely referencing actual elderly candidates of the era, though the specific target is unclear). **Other Jokes**: Brief quips satirize: - Political corruption (Senator Sorghum's goal of "winning at little expense") - Social pretense (a woman explaining away a war amputee's missing arm to avoid scandal) - Life insurance as financial planning **Advertisements** dominate the lower half, promoting the Adirondack Mountains tourism and Ridpath's History of the World. The humor relies on wordplay, irony, and social commentary typical of early 1900s satire—none requires specific historical knowledge to understand the basic comedic structure, though some targets remain unclear without period context.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“What can Ido for you, gentlemen 2” asked Methuselah, motioning his visitors to seats. «We have come,” said the chairman of the committee, “to ask if you will accept a nomination for the vice-presidency ? “Twill not, gentlemen !"" exclaimed the venerable patriarch, rising to his feet, grasping his cane, and tottering away, in- dignantly. “1am not old enough for that! Methuselah was right. He lived seven or eight years after this event.—Chicago Tribune. Maud—* So that’s a photograph of you and your handsome cousin Clarence, is it? You seem to he sitting pretty close to- gether. Where's his left arm Mabel (blushing furiously)—" He hasn't any left arm, He lost it in the war with Spain. [ told him everybody would mis- understand that picture !"—Chicago Trib. une. | “When you first entered politics,” said | the young man who is looking for knowl- edge, “did you set out with the determi- nation to win at any cost ?" + No,” answered Senator Sorghum set out with the determination to win at as little expense as possible.” - Vashing- ton Star. “God wot !" said Sir Percival ; “ like- | wise ods-hoddikins and go to; but that | youngster is a terror !” |" «In what way, prithe ry night since his arrival he has done me out of a knight's sleep."—Hous- ton Post, “1am very sorry, Mr. Singleton,” said | Miss Elderleigh, “but I can’ be nothing more to you tha “Oh, never mind,” interrupted Single- ton ; ‘it is useless to say the rest. [ have two grandmothers already."— Cincinnati | | Enquirer. “The Nation's pleasure ground and sanitarium.” THE —David Bennett Hill, ADIRONDACK MOUNTAINS. The lakes and streams in the Adirondack Mountains are full of fish ; the woods are in- viting, the air is filled with health, and the nights are cool and re: region once, you will stful. If you visit this go there again. An answer to almost any question in regard to the Adirondacks will the “ Four-Track Series,” be found in No. 20 of “The Adirondack Mountains and How to Reach Them”; issued by the NEW YORK CENTRAL A copy will be mailed free on receipt of a two-cent stamp, by George H. Daniels, General Passenger Agent, Grand Central Station, New York. HE PIONEER OF ILLUSTRATED JOUR- NALISM—and to-day the exponent of iustrated newspaperdom in America. MOST ADVANCED MOST PROGRESSIVE AND UP-TO-DATE eons erctemeg ears Gah ATE PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT JASPER’S HINTS TO MONEY-MAKERS) BOOKS AND AUTHORS AMATEUR PRIZE PHOTO CONTEST “ My dear,” said Ardupp, I have made |a little preparation for your future. Had my life insured for five thousand dollars | to-da: “Oh, how thoughtful of you, John !* exclaimed Mrs, A. “And can I get the money right away ?"—Chicago News. The prison visitor—" Dear me! How dreadful! And do you really think you are a victim of persecution ?” The burglar—* That's wot. But it's me own fault fer not joinin’ the house- breakers’ union."—Zife, “Was your charity excursion on the boat a success, Mrs. Dasher ?" | “Grand! We lost money, but all who | went say that they had a delightful outing and feel at the same time that their money went for a good cause."—Detroit Free Press. I.W. Harper ye. “On Every Tongue.” For gentlemen who appreciate quality; for the weak who need to be strengthened; for the carefal physician who requires purity} for every body who knowsa good thing. Sold by leading dealers everywhere, A man was mistaken for a hog and shot in the mountains of Kentucky the | away on your vacation ?” other day. “What did you do while you were This would not have been so} around while my wife was dress- strange in Chicago.—dtanta Constitu-|ing tor meals most of the time."-- Brook- tion. dyn News. He— Some one has started the story! Physician ou may take a drink that L have a big head. What do you | with each meal.” think of it? Patient— | don’t think it would agree She—* There's nothing in it."—Defroit| with me to eat as often as that, doctor.” Free Press. —Town Topics. 29 Saved—Interim Edition NEW and revised edition of Ridpath’s History of the World brought down to the Midsummer of 1904 was published in August. 100 sets were bound before the publishers realized that events were marching so fast in the Far East that another edition with additional matter to cover the conclusion of the Russo-Japanese campaign must be issued at once. So these 100 sets—the Interim Edition as it were, i. e., the edition down to midsummer, 1904—must be sold at what they will bring before the new edition is out. A. T. Stewart used to say when you have a loss to make — make it now.” Adopting that plan, we offer these brand-new sets of a new edition at exactly the price we have bren getting for second-hand dam- aged sets, and on little monthly payments if you choose. At this price, they will sell before the next edition is ready. If $29.00 Is worth more to you than the history of the last sixty days, sign and send the coupon to-day, lest you may be too late. Compare the Russo-Japanese War with other great wars Read how a handful of Americans swept through Mexico, capturing walled cities and fortified passes, routing intrenched armies five times their number, never losing a battle, until barely’ six thousand travel-tired men entered the seemingly impregnable City of Mexico, defended by thirty thousand + Descendants of Cortez and the Spanish Heroes of the sixteenth century.” Read of Hannibal crossing the Alps, of Cxesar and his historic march to the North, conquering the Gauls ; of Alexander the Great con- quering the world, of William the Conqueror, Washington, Napoleon, Wellington, Gordon, Nelson, Farragut, Grant, Lee, Sherman and the other great men of history. The only World’s History that reads like a story-book, yet Is recognized as a standard authority. You are interested in the war—in the fature of this country—in the coming electon=in the live; national and international topcs of the day, tor you can only appreciaie the present and determine tbe future of” this de any country ifyou understand the past. Ridpath’s History of the World ts recognised as the standard easy-to-read authority. This New Ridpath Contains A fall account of the Boer War, the Spanish-American War, the Philippines, the Rough Riders, President Pala Cuba, John Mitchell, the labor troubles and trusts Be, Kaas Works Fair he ateaainations of e- Kinley, King Humbert, the King and Queen of Servia, and all the fmportant events down to the siege of Hore Arthur and the nomination of Parker and foosevelt A new set at the price of @ second-hand one Ridpath's History of the World is aagreat tg set of nie royal octavo volumes, containing ‘many. mai And-color plates and thousands of illustrations. You pay noth= {ng until you have examtined the Book then you pay ia Small monthly payments iFyou choose’ ihe com: ete set fs ent at once, but out the coupon and send it to-day. As you read of wars and rettes and questions ep ply Se home Sd“tbroed a3 not pase over them. superset Send oroor fiveitestea ed sample-page book. It will tell you HOW this Matory chave to be ert. ten HOW it will incr: Styou WW HY youreed Seah WHEAT toch men lane a3 President. MeKisley, eames and liners: President‘ Harrbon, De. mene of the Chrome Cayler, Bishop Vincent, ‘nares, Eporavings, Pho. Rabbi ‘Hirsh, President Es rat. Block Color~ ‘Angell and General Lew Preies Fest Bages uh Sull par. Wallace and hundreds. of eral aree: there aay of Specimen Book FREE MERRILL & BAKER 11 East 16th St., New York, 11 East U6ih St. NEW YORK Without cost te me, please send the Hidpath 4 fltagtra INQUIRY COUPON it you mention Jedge you needn't cut ‘oat coupon). comicbooks.com