Judge, 1904-09-24 · page 14 of 16
Judge — September 24, 1904 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical poetry and cartoons addressing divorce in early 20th-century America. The main illustrated narrative poem ("How Shall We Solve the Divorce Problem?") tells of Sam Pugh, a Texas bachelor who marries quickly and lives in perfect harmony—the satire being that such ideal marriages were rare. The poem mocks both hasty marriages and the growing divorce epidemic by presenting an impossibly perfect union as the "solution" to America's divorce crisis. Below, smaller humorous anecdotes include a dialogue about political vote-buying and a Chicago scene where a wealthy man reportedly paid his wife $1,000 to *stay* married rather than divorce—mocking both marital instability among the wealthy and the mercenary nature of relationships. The *Four-Track News* advertisement celebrates a railroad magazine's cheerful escapism from "grim care." Overall, the page satirizes contemporary anxieties about marriage dissolution and moral decline while offering cynical commentary on how money, not love, often determined marital outcomes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HOW SHALL WE SOLVE THE DI- VORCE PROBLEM? [8 WILDS of Texas dwelt Sam Pugh, A lonely bachelor was he. He had to cook his own beef stugh And other things like that, you se; And if he had a racking cough No tender hand to nurse was there. So one day Samuel started ough Resolved to find a maiden fere. A near-by town—'twas somewhat tough— Revealed a damsel, trim and neat. Said happy Samuel, * You're the stough ! Shall we before the parson meat?” She shyly blushed, and said, * Although I scarcely know you, still I see That you're o. k., and I will gough Along with you and married bee.” ‘Sam grinned with joy. It thrilled him through. So they were wed and Sam was glad And gently whispered, “I love yough !" It was a magic ride they had Across the prairie, which the plough Had never touched. Then, when at home, Sam gayly said, “Now I'll allough That from this ranch we'll never rome." And now there is a son and heir Who plays before the ranchman's door. You'd love to see that happy pheir. Sam's never lonely any moor. Their joy it would be hard to gauge. It’s free from quarrels and deceit. Sam never gets into a rauge And Mary's temper’s just as sweit. A man more true and free from guile Or of a more contented mien ; A woman with a happier smuile T'll bet a cent you've never sien. And if all folk were like these two With lives in harmony so keyed The lawyers would have less to dwo. Divorce courts we should never neyed marriages, bec 1 hearthstones where true love holds reign Are ruled without the aid of lause— In happiness instead of peign. ‘Se from these two a lesson learn. A lesson big and wise and true. Oh, do not fre its moral tearn! It will help all, both me and yue. The Four-Track News is out, and all along the line grim care is up the spout ; and many readers shine with broad-gauge happy grins, which show they are quite, the while their fancy spins, in Edens of de- light. The Four-Zrack News is just the sort of thing that preens its wings and gsives the dust to rival magazines. It is a mental food for breakfast or for tea, and any sort of mood it fits ‘way up in g. So pull your shekel forth and buy the Four-Track News, that east, west, south and north the dish of knowledge stews, and puts you on your pins although you've not a cent, and wakes your fond- est grins and pays the monthly rent. For further particulars apply to George H Daniels, publisher, 7 East Forty-second street, New York cit * How you gwine vote in de president | ‘leckshun 2” | “Dunno, [ain't been ‘proached yit.” Ain't been ‘proached ?” “No; neither de ‘Publikins ner de Dim- ocrats hez hed enterprise ‘nuff ter make me a propersition !"—Atlanta Constitu- tion, Pananyn STAN ws “Oh, just listen to me,” finally ex- claimed Mrs. Chatters, self-reproachfully, “annoying you with all this talk about Mrs. Nexdore’s shameful treatment of me and all my other troubles !* “ Not at all, my dear,” replied the man, IN CHICAGO. rather ambiguously ; “I'm glad to hear , divorce?” it."—Philadelphia Press, Fes men cas geantle lero etna aad eer iooks 60 stunning he has offered her another thousand to stick to him.’* comicbooks.com